Most people think emotions are soft or something to be “managed” (or avoided).
The truth is everything you do or don’t do is because of how you feel.
This means that if you want to create something new and different in your life, you have to learn how to identify and allow emotions.
It’s something we’re not taught and typically ignore.
In this episode I share with you why you need to get really comfortable with your emotions if you ever want to create the life of your dreams.
Here are my favorite resources to go with this podcast:
- How To Process Emotions And Feel Better (blog post)
- Two Emotions I Use To Help Me Feel Better (blog post)
- When You Don’t Know How (podcast)
- Personal Development Master Class (free training)
- Grow You (coaching)
Full Episode Transcript
Welcome to the Design Your Dream Life podcast where it’s all about designing your life on your terms and now your host, Natalie Bacon.
Hello friend, how are you doing today? I have to say that this puppy thing is really hard, and I knew it was going to be hard going into it. So I had that awareness. It’s not like a surprise hard, but it is a new level of growth and I am just learning so much and not only about being a dog mom but about totally and completely doing things for this other little being in my life instead of just doing exactly what I want all the time. So it’s been a new challenge and one that I’m so glad that I gave myself, but it’s just a reminder to myself and hopefully to you that on the other side of creating the life you want isn’t like blissed out happiness. There are still the ups and the downs including the negative emotion and the problems. But I have to say that these problems are so much better.
So for me, I would so much rather be dealing with the problem of you know, my puppy stumbling and having to go to the vet, you know, and cancel all the plans for the day. I’d rather have that problem than the problem of waking up hung over and feeling like crap all day. Because for me when I think you know from my highest self what kind of life I want to create, it’s the one with the puppy and that doesn’t mean that it’s always easy, but it means that it is my life and the life that I want to live intentionally.
That is kind of unrelated. It’s just on the top of my mind as I am all in on this new puppy mom thing. And I joke because I was thinking about how much my Instagram has already changed and how obsessed I am with Penny and how I’m posting her everywhere and how I will always be that way. I’ll always change my content based on how I’m changing. As long as I think it will be useful or enjoyable to you. So this phase is called the Penny puppy phase. It’s been really, really fun.
That’s said, let’s talk about emotions. So funny, I was doing research for this podcast and I originally was going to name it how to process your emotions. And it dawned on me that most people don’t even understand why emotions are so important and why they matter. So in order get to the place of wondering how to process your emotions, you have to have already accepted as true that emotions are really important and they’re important for everyone, not just someone who we would describe as quote unquote emotional.
So, I changed the name of the podcast, I changed the way that I outlined today’s episode and I am going to give you all the good stuff that I was originally going to give you, but it’s going to be much more concise and I think it’s going to be so helpful and powerful for you, especially if you are up leveling your life, goal setting, or wanting to create new results in your life. And it’s kinda funny cause you would maybe initially not think that the two are related but they are so related and they’re not only related but they’re directly correlated.
I want to start off with just talking to you about why emotions matter. And I came up with four reasons that I want to talk with you about because they are the four that I resonate with most and have experience with and also with my clients. Reason number one is that taking ownership of your feelings gives you control over your life and it gives you control in the way that you want. So you need to take ownership of how you feel in order to design your dream life. This actually sounds kind of obvious. Maybe if you’ve done any work, but I’m telling you, if you just listen to yourself and to other people, you will notice that no one is taking responsibility for how they feel.
So most people without doing any of this work will blame their circumstances for how they feel and it looks like this. I’m so stressed because my husband and I are fighting. I’m upset because my boss yelled at me. I’m angry because my flight got canceled. I’m mad because my friends, you know, backed out of a trip or I’m sad because my son isn’t talking to me. It is blaming external circumstances for how you feel and it’s not true.
So we are all humans with human brains, which means that we all have thoughts that cause our feelings. So if you feel a certain way, it is because you are thinking a certain thought. I’ve talked about this a lot before, but I want to dive so much deeper into it because even in my own work, I remind myself of this all the time and it doesn’t mean that I don’t want to feel negative emotion. It just means that I take responsibility for it and that responsibility brings awareness to it. So I can decide on purpose, hey, yeah, I’m feeling frustrated and I want to continue to feel frustrated, instead of thinking that something outside of me is causing the frustration. Right? It’s like even when Penny kind of tumbled and she was limping, right and I was very worried I had to create this space and remind myself that her limping and her injury was not causing me to worry and feel afraid and sad, right? I had thoughts like this shouldn’t be happening. Something has gone wrong, you know Penny’s going to die. I really had those thoughts and they were creating so much more suffering.
So it doesn’t have to be necessarily in like all of the big things that you’re coaching yourself on maybe you were let go from a job or a death in the family. Of course coaching is so useful in those situations, but it’s also really useful in the day to day life stuff like your dog kind of tumbles. By the way, Penny is fine, she had a sprain. But I just want you to really understand that when you blame your circumstances for how you feel and when you say that something outside of you is causing you to feel a certain way, what you’re doing is you are giving that thing, the circumstance, the power over your feelings. You’re basically saying that I can’t feel better uness this circumstance changes. But that’s not true. You can always feel better and you don’t have to feel better.
And what I want to encourage you to do is actually to learn how to experience the negative emotion instead of trying to feel better all the time. I have to remind myself of this, right? Like even with Penny, it was like, oh yeah, I want to be kind of sad when my puppy gets hurt, right? But I don’t have to add this suffering on top of it and the fear. So that was kind of where I was at. It’s like, yes, I want to be sad. I don’t want my dog to be hurt, but I don’t have to add on the suffering of something’s gone wrong, she’s going to die and just like make it so much worse.
So that’s what this awareness for you can do. It can give you control over how you want to think about situations and how you want to feel. And also when you blame something outside of you for how you feel, you create a reality where you can’t solve your own problems and you make it so you’re trapped and stuck. And it’s just a misunderstanding. As Byron Katie calls it, it’s just not true. You always have a choice with how you want to feel. And again, this does not mean that you want to feel good all the time, right? It’s really easy to see this. If you think about grief, someone dies or even a relationship ends, you probably want to feel devastated or heartbroken. But understanding that your brain is what’s causing you to feel emotion, gives you the power to take responsibility for how you feel 100% of the time.
And most people don’t do this right? The most professional adults, you know, you’ll hear them talking about something outside of them, making them feel a certain way. And what I want you to do is I want you to understand that when you take ownership of how you feel, all of the negative emotions as well, you get so much more control over your life. Because when you’re not afraid of feeling negative emotion, when you’re willing to feel negative emotion, you will have so many more breakthroughs in your own life because you will realize that you can create and do anything with your life. So my hope is for you that you learn to be in touch with your emotions because it will create a much fuller, richer life for you. You will create it instead of thinking that your a product of your environment, right? You can create the life that you want.
I like to think about like if Oprah just jumped into my body, what would she do? Now certainly Oprah feels negative emotion, right? But she’s operating at such a higher level or like Tony Robbins or something like that, right? So they’re humans, they have human brains, but they’ve optimized their brains, right? They’ve kind of mastered themselves. So I like to think about, okay, how would Oprah process negative emotion? How would she solve this problem? Right? Instead of thinking that something outside of me is causing me to feel something, I remind myself that I’m the one causing it. I also see this a lot with like money. People think that their money causes them to feel a certain way and I often have to remind them that money is neutral and it can’t cause you to feel anything, right? You cause you to feel your emotions and you can feel really, really good and love your money and get out of debt, right? You don’t have to beat yourself up and have shame when you’re getting out of debt. It’s something that I teach and has really transformed so many people’s lives. The added weight of that shame is just not necessary, but people think that it’s the money or the debt that’s causing them to feel the shame.
I was just coaching someone in Grow You. She had credit card debt and she was kind of beating herself up a little bit about it and saying like, oh well she regrets it and you know, she’s embarrassed by it. And I talked with her about it and I said, well what did you get in debt for? And you know, it was to get her car fixed and it was for something else for her family. And I said, so you found a way to provide for your family and at the time it was by using your credit card and would you necessarily do that again now? No. And are you going to pay it off? Yes, but let’s like have your own back in the process. We don’t need to think that we were wrong or made a bad decision, like there’s just no upside to it. So reason number one is taking ownership of your feelings so that you get some control over your life and can design it the way that you want.
Reason number two, why your feelings matter is that everything you do or don’t do is because of how you think it will make you feel. We kind of know this from advertisers, right? If you watch a good commercial and you’ve like touches your emotions, you really have this subconscious programming going on with the company. That’s why it can be a commercial about something kind of unrelated to the product, but more related to getting you to feel a certain way. You know, maybe there’s puppies or something in the commercial and you just really love the commercial, right? Well good advertisers know that you will act based on how you feel. And this is something that we like to think that we don’t do, right? We like to think that we are so rational and that we make rational decisions. But the truth is that your thoughts cause your feelings and your feelings cause your actions. So whether you do or don’t do something is based on how you feel.
And I want you to know that this is true for the most emotional person and the most stoic person. We all have emotions. We might express them differently, but you are constantly taking action because of how you feel. And what I find is that most people, they don’t really say it, but they kind of ignore the feeling part of it. They’re like, yeah, yeah, yeah feelings. I’ll just stuff them down there and not really worry about them. I want to get to the part where I’m losing weight, you know, having the family I want and making a bunch of money and you know, getting my dream job right? They’re like, ah, do we really need to talk about feelings? But the truth is it’s like the feelings are what matter most because whether you take action or not is based on how you feel and what you tell yourself about those feelings.
And also the end of every experience is an emotion. So let’s say that you’re in a relationship and it ends. If you end the relationship, the end of that experience isn’t the relationship ending. It’s how you feel. So you end the relationship and then you will feel a certain way because of what you will make that ending mean. You know, maybe you make it mean that this is the best thing that’s ever happened to you and you actually feel great. Or maybe you make it mean that this is something that you want going forward. You want this relationship to be over, but you are sad and you’re choosing to be sad about it. The end of that experience will be an emotion.
This one is really hard and most people do not understand it and they really don’t believe it. They’re like, yeah, but what if I lost my job or what if I lost my money? I’m really afraid of losing my money, or something like that, and I’m like, okay, let’s go to that place. The worst thing that can ever happen to you is an emotion. When you really understand this, it brings you back to your own center and reminds you that if you process your own emotions, you are always going to be balanced internally regardless of like the chaos that’s happening in the outside world.
Say someone steals your identity, right? We would say that’s horrible and it would create all this stress and chaos in your life, but the truth is you can decide how you want to feel about it and you can go through that without ever feeling stressed. Now, you might want to feel stressed, but it’s not someone stealing your identity that’s creating this stress. It’s you thinking a thought like, oh my God, how am I going to fix this? My life is over. This is going to ruin everything. Those thoughts that are creating the stress, the end of that experience is whatever you make it mean.
I always go back to my student loan debt because a lot of people come to me with student loan debt and they position it as if it’s a circumstance that is, you know, the cause of so many problems in their life. And I have to remind them that I loved my student loan debt so much and it allowed me to create this business. Like without my student loan debt, I would have never learned about money, become a financial planner, started an online business, become a life coach. Like none of it would have happened. Like I am so glad I had student loan debt. Pay attention to what you’re making your circumstances mean and remember that your thoughts about your circumstances are what create your feelings. Right?
And this isn’t just for the big things like ending a relationship or a job ending or starting a business, but it’s also the little things too. So I think back to not that long ago when I was going to tell Steve, my boyfriend, that I loved him. I hesitated so much and I coached myself and realized that the reason I was hesitating had nothing to do with me loving him. It had to do with my fear of rejection.
Think this through, right? What are you not saying? Because you are afraid of the feeling that would be the end of the experience, right? So the end of the experience is an emotion and I was scared to tell Steve that I loved him first because I had decided preemptively that if he didn’t say it back or he didn’t feel the same way, I would make it mean that I had been rejected and I would feel rejection. Now, once I coached myself and got coaching on this, I realized that I wasn’t taking action because I was afraid and that both the fear and rejection were optional. And that him not saying it back was not rejection, right. Unless I decided it was and I could, but I didn’t have to.
So this example is really, really important for you to understand because it’s like in all of these things that make up the big things. And just to finish off that story, of course, after I coached myself and got coaching, I was like, well now I have to tell him. And I did tell him, of course it was so warmly received and he said it back and it was fantastic. And I had this little thought, oh my gosh, I wish I would have just waited because he had told me he was going to say it like a day or two later. And I told my coach, I said, oh my gosh, I like, I had this thought, ugh, if I would’ve just waited a little bit longer, he would have, you know, said at first. And she said, and then you would have missed all of this growth. Like of course, it’s so much better that you said it first, right? I got to do that and put myself out there and dare greatly as Brenae Brown says, right?
So that’s what I want for you. I want you to realize that you are creating the fear and the rejection and the humiliation and creating those is optional. And even if you do create them, the worst that can happen is the feeling in your body. And when you truly understand this and you realize why emotions are so important, you stop thinking that these outside experiences, the outside world is creating your internal experience. And you realize it’s the other way around. And the result of that is that you go all in on your life and you create the exact results that you want.
And let’s just say that I had told Steve that I loved him and he was like, yeah, not really feeling it. And he like broke up with me, right? Like that has to do with his thoughts and his feelings, my thoughts and my feelings don’t change. And that would be the exact experience that was supposed to happen. And then that relationship would have been complete. And then I would move on. Bringing awareness to your emotions and to how you feel and to understand why these emotions matter so much will actually have the effect of you going all in on your life and not letting your feelings stop you. Okay.
Reason number four, why feelings matter so much is that, and this is, this kind of ties back to number one, but I wanted to separate them out, it’s that when you understand your emotions, you won’t use them as an excuse not to take action. So people will tell me all the time, they are not motivated or they have so much self doubt. And I say to them, why are you letting that be a reason not to take action? So what? Like, all right, I’m going to go for something new and big and crazy and scary and I’m going to feel self doubt and self doubt can come along for the ride until it’s gone. So I do this, right?
I decide what I want and then I go and get it. When I got Penny, Steve was like, you just will things to happen. I’m like, yes, yes I do. I expect the fear, but I just don’t make it mean slow down or stop or take a break. And what I find is that most people will misinterpret that self doubt because they don’t understand it. They make it mean that they’re on the wrong path or that they’re not cut out for it. So they should just stop while they’re ahead. And what I say is, no, if you are setting really big goals or if you want a result or a life that’s so different than what you have now, you’re gonna feel like an imposter, right? You’re going to have that imposter syndrome because the space between where you are now and where you want to go is so big. That just means that your dreaming big, it doesn’t mean anything about your ability to create it.
What I want you to do is I want you to notice that and notice the emotion and be with it and learn how to process it so that you don’t make it mean something that actually has the effect of sabotaging. So if you feel that fear and you make it mean you’re not cut out for this and then you stop, right? You don’t create your dream life.
A lot of this has has to do with how your brain is evolved. So it’s wired for survival. It’s always going to want to avoid pain. And this is great when someone is chasing you and you are afraid you’re going to be attacked and then you run away, right? Not so great when we’re talking about starting the online business or you know, setting a goal to lose the weight, it’s just not useful. And so if you understand this, you will learn to process the emotion and not let it stop you. And what I’ve found is that when you really understand this, the limit is the sky, as Jay-Z says. You are willing to feel tremendous discomfort to achieve your dreams. You’re willing to ask for the raise. You’re willing to say, I love you first. You’re willing to go to the interview that you think you’re unqualified for and argue for why you should have it. Right? Instead of looking for evidence of why can’t create the life that you want.
When you know that the worst that can happen is a negative emotion, you truly go all in on your life. I cannot over emphasize the discomfort I felt quitting my job as an attorney, quitting my job as a financial planner, quitting working for my mentor, going all in and working full time as an online business owner. I constantly used to have to remind myself, well, I can move into my friend’s basement or I could work at Starbucks.
I’m not kidding you. People are like, how do you do it? I’m like, oh, I’m terrified a lot of the time, right? And sometimes I’m like, oh my gosh, like I have a business. I’m a business owner and I have this moment of fear, like what if I lose it all? And I’m like, oh yeah, I’ll just create it again. It’s totally fine. So I remind myself that I’m the one. I can feel the negative emotion, I can be with it and I can process it and I can move forward. I never let it stop me.
Those are the reasons why your emotions matter. It’s so important for you to understand this, especially if you are more prone to think that emotions are kind of soft. I find that the people who kind of like resist understanding emotions or thinking that they’re important, the people who think that they’re not that important are the ones who live a very small and they don’t create massive results. The ones who are really willing to experience negative emotion and go all in, are the ones who create those results.
So I want to now give you the steps to bring awareness to how you feel. Through awareness you will actually feel better. You don’t have to do anything. I don’t want you to start, you know, creating sentences that you memorize to try to create better feelings, right? It’s like people who learn that thoughts create feelings. They’re like, okay, well I’ll just create a better thought and then I’ll feel better. It’s like, yes, but you’re not, you don’t want to feel better all the time. You want to feel bad. Sometimes it’s like counterintuitive cause we all quote unquote want to be happy, but the truth is that’s not the human experience. You want to be internally balanced and you want to know how to experience negative emotion.
So remember that your thoughts cause your feelings and that a feeling is just a vibration in your body. Remind yourself of that. Remind yourself that your circumstances aren’t causing you to feel anything ever, ever, ever, ever. With your thoughts and feelings you will create your experience of the world. It’s not the other way around.
I coached some people about their full time jobs and they will talk about it as if their job and their boss is what creates the stress. The job and the boss are neutral. You create stress from your thoughts about it and you can stay in a job and you can leave a job and you don’t have to ever feel stress. Stress is optional, right? Remind yourself of that.
Okay. Now I want to give you the steps to bring awareness to how you feel. That’s my biggest goal in this episode. It’s like for you to understand that feelings are so important for you to kind of create the life that you want to live intentionally, to design your dream life. Feelings are a huge part of it and it all starts with awareness. And before you go about intentionally creating useful emotions, which is something we do in Grow You, I want you to do step one, which most people in their entire lives never do. It’s to bring awareness to how you feel, right? And everything is built on that. Once you have awareness of your feelings in your body and how you create them and how they feel, then you can move through them. And when you move through them, you move forward, not backward.
So the first step to feeling awareness is to name the feeling. I want you to get really good at identifying what you’re feeling, how you’re feeling in one word. It’s kind of like in the beginning when someone’s first learning their feelings, they’re like, yes, I know feelings, happy, sad, excited, love, fear, scared. We know like 10 feelings. In Grow You there’s a huge feelings list. If you’re not in grow, you look up a feelings list. Get really, really good at naming different feelings. If ever I’m feeling a negative emotion and I’m not sure what the feeling is, I start with uncomfortable. I’m like, okay, this is an uncomfortable feeling so I know it’s a negative emotion and then I try to get more specific, right? Is it fear? Is it shame? Is it doubt? Is it worry? Is it stress? What is the feeling? Name it in one word and then what I want you to do is to describe it in detail. I don’t want you to explain why you’re feeling it. I want you to actually explain the feeling. Where do you feel it in your body? What’s the temperature? When you do this, you are becoming the watcher. You are separating yourself from your feelings. This is a really, really powerful exercise. If you just name the feeling and notice it as a vibration in your body and notice where it is. Is it in your chest? Is it heavy? Is it hot? Is it cold? You will be so much further ahead in your own life and so much further ahead relative to most adults, right?
So if you are experiencing anger, you can just have that buzzing in the background and process it without reacting to it. Now, this doesn’t mean you’re avoiding it or resisting it. You’re allowing it, right? That’s step three. So you name the feeling is one. Describe it in details is two. Step three is allow it. You relax into it. You observe it. You do not resist, avoid, react to it. You really breathe into it and have it going in the background.
So if you’re feeling stress, you can notice it. All right? I feel stressed. I feel it in my shoulders. I feel it in my neck. It feels kind of hot. It feels tight and you can just breathe into it. Okay, this is stress. I’m creating stress because I am creating this story in my head and I want you to be with that feeling. And I want you to approach the feeling with curiosity and compassion without negative judgment. Most of us, when we feel negative emotion, we approach it very negatively. We’ll say, Oh, I can’t believe I’m stressed again. I’m trying, I’m doing all this work in Grow You. I thought I was over this, right, and we’re really mean to ourselves and instead what I want you to do is go, huh, I’m feeling stress. That’s so interesting. My brain is creating the feeling of stress. Let me allow it. Let me not react to it. Let me just notice the buzzing in the background.
Once you’ve actually done all of that, then I want you to go to the next step, which is to identify the thought causing the feeling. Now, most people will jump to this step and I want you to make sure that you’ve described it in detail and you’ve allowed it before you ever identify the explanation for what’s causing it. But, when you do get to the step, I want you to identify the reason of why you’re feeling what you’re feeling. It will not be your job or your husband or your children. It will be because of a thought in your head, a sentence in your head, language that you have decided to put together to mean something that will create to the emotion. And then I want you to remind yourself, I’m feeling stress because of a sentence in my mind.
It doesn’t mean you run from it. It doesn’t mean you change it. It means you take responsibility for it. And then finally, I want you to give yourself a pep talk. Not a pep talk that says, I don’t need to feel stress, nothing’s gone wrong, but a pep talk that says, I can do stress, I can feel stress. Until you’re willing to experience these negative emotions, especially the ones that keep popping up for you. You will keep creating experiences that create that stress.
I was coaching someone in Grow You about to leaving her church. She was in her church. She felt isolated, so she left her church because she felt isolated. Sure enough, she created the feeling of feeling isolated outside of the church. That is because the church did not create the feeling of isolation, her sentence in her head did, and until she kind of works through isolation and comes to terms and is willing to experience isolation, she will continue to create experiences that give her the opportunity to grow. What I coached her on was teaching her how to experience isolation without running from it.
I did this when I was single and I was bored. On like Friday nights, if I didn’t want to go out, I would, you know, kind of feel sorry for myself. And when I realized I was doing that, I said, oh, I just need to learn how to be bored. It was kind of an instant moment and sometimes it will happen instantly, sometimes it won’t, but it’s the awareness that will provide the opportunity for growth. So for me in that instance, I was like, oh, I just need to be bored. And then I was just bored and it was fine.
That’s all I want you to do. Name the feeling, describe it in detail, allow it, approach it with curiosity and compassion. Identify the thought causing it, and then give yourself a pep talk, telling yourself that you can do whatever the feeling is. I don’t want you to try to create new feelings on purpose yet because everyone comes to me and they want to feel excited and happy and motivated all the time. But the truth is whatever result you want in the future isn’t going to be blissed out. Right. It’s like the example of being single and having hangovers on the weekends or you know, being in a relationship and having a puppy. It’s like now I traded my hangover problems for puppy injury and emergency vet problems. It’s just a different flavor. And I say this because when you’re goal setting, we can often kind of fantasize about what it’s like over there and over there is a different experience, but it’s not without problems. So you’re welcome. Your problems are forever.
So if you ignore negative emotion in your life and you are constantly trying to create only positive emotion, you’re not going to create massive results because to get massive results you have to be willing to experience the discomfort that comes with new experiences. So the fears and the rejections and the humiliations and the failures.
For example, let’s say you’re starting a business and you put on your calendar that you know from 5:00 PM to 9:00 PM during the week you are going to work on your business. Well when that time comes and it is Friday at five and you are tired and you just want to go home and have a glass of wine and you have this self doubt that creeps in any way and you’re thinking that you can’t create the result and you don’t have what it takes. If you understand that self doubt is not a good reason to stop, then you will still show up for yourself at 5:00 PM and you’ll work with self doubt and you’ll process the self doubt and you won’t make it mean stop or slow down or take a break. You will get stronger.
Now if you don’t have this skill, if you avoid your emotions and you have the glass of wine and you tell yourself it’s just one Friday night, you will not overcome and work through negative emotion. You will not get stronger and you will have no awareness of it and you will go back to blaming your circumstances on how you feel when it’s just not true at all.
So let me wrap up this super long podcast for you. I want you to get really, really good at learning how to feel. It is a super power skill. It is not a soft skill. It is not a skill for people who are quote unquote too emotional. If you are a human and you care about intentional living and designing your life and designing your future from your future, a skill that is required is learning how to feel.
It is a skill that most people don’t have, in part because they’re not clear about how to do it or why it matters, but also because it’s kind of difficult to explain, right? It’s a lot easier for me to teach you how to calendar and how to plan your days, super easy. It’s harder to teach the skill of processing emotions and why emotions matter. So I want you to get good at learning how to feel. This does not mean emoting and reacting or yelling. It doesn’t mean displaying emotion. It’s your ability to feel what your feeling so the self doubt comes up and you’re not paralyzed by it. You don’t add onto it, something’s gone wrong, I can’t do this, which creates that anxiety on top of it, right? And you have this buzzing anxiety and you think something’s gone wrong and that can turn into terror and you’re like adding all these negative emotions on top of each other. Where if you just kind of looked within and you know, took a peek at what’s going on, you would find that it’s just a negative emotion. And when you learn how to process emotion, you will feel better. Through the awareness of your emotions, you’ll separate yourself from them.
It’s a skill unique to humans and it’s a one that allows you to have control over your life, feel better, design the life of your dreams. You can watch your emotions, describe them, be with them, process them, decide on purpose whether to continue creating them or not. And you can do all this without reacting, resisting or avoiding them. And then you realize that they’re not so bad. This emotion that you’ve been avoiding for so long, it’s just an uncomfortable vibration in your body.
So let’s say you want to lose 50 pounds this year and you tell yourself you’ve never done it before and you’ve failed so many times and the thought of it brings up so many negative experiences. I want you to go there and I want you to feel the fear and be with the fear and decide that your going to try to lose this 50 pounds if .it takes you your entire life. And you’re going to do it for you and you’re going to love yourself along the way, and that yes, you are afraid and that you can feel the fear, you can feel the self doubt.
Most people are hiding from their emotions that they’re creating and that aren’t even that big of a deal. So hopefully in this episode you kind of see how that’s happening. People want to avoid their emotions, but they’re the ones creating them. And the end of the experience is an emotion that you can process. Like it’s not that big of a deal. Your thoughts will create your entire world and your thoughts do this by first creating your feelings and then your feelings will be why you do or don’t do something.
I want you to learn to look within and trust your feelings and trust yourself and have compassion with yourself and tell yourself, yes, I can do doubt. I can do rejection. I can do fear. If you are stretching yourself, if your goals are way out in front of you, you’re going to have doubt. You’re going to have imposter syndrome, you are going to feel discomfort, and if you will learn how to create awareness around your feelings, name your feelings, describe it in detail and allow it, then you won’t let it stop you.
All right. This episode is long enough. I hope I have convinced you that your feelings are so important and that the freedom that comes with processing emotion is unlike any other because it is the secret to feeling better for the rest of your life.
Hey, if you liked this podcast you really should check out, Grow You, my life coaching program. I coach you on everything I teach on the podcast so that you can uplevel your life. We 10x it so you get the results you want most. Just like a monthly gym membership to get your body in shape, this is a monthly personal development membership to get your mind in shape. It is an investment your future self will thank you for. Check it out at Nataliebacon.com/coaching. That’s Nataliebacon.com/coaching. I will see you there.