“Your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have.”
– Paul Arden
Have you thought about who you are becoming lately?
You are definitely becoming someone. You may be becoming someone new. You may be becoming more of your past.
You may be becoming someone you don’t like. You may be becoming someone you love.
Notice your thoughts. Notice your feelings. Notice what you do every day.
Your thoughts, feelings, and actions will give you your future results.
You can choose who you want to become instead of living by default. It doesn’t have to be by accident.
In this episode, I share how you can decide who you want to become and create a plan to make it a reality in your life.
You go from cause and effect to causing an effect.
Listen to this episode to learn how you can decide intentionally who you want to become.
Here are more of my favorite resources to go along with this podcast:
- How To Create A 5 Year Plan (blog post)
- Visualizing Your Future Self (podcast)
- How To Live An Intentional Life (YouTube video)
- How To Stop Repeating Your Past And Design Your Dream Future From Your Future (blog post)
- How To Live An Intentional Life (free course)
- Grow You (coaching)
Full Who Are You Becoming Episode Transcript
Welcome to the Design Your Dream Life podcast where it’s all about designing your life on your terms and now your host, Natalie Bacon.
Hello, how are you doing today? I’m really excited to be here with you because it is that time of year where it’s the holidays and it’s new year’s and it’s family and friends and relationships and goal setting and planning ahead and all of the things, right? All of the things.
I just love this time of year for so many reasons and I’ve talked a lot about creating your future from your future and what is possible and setting goals and like everything in between, taking massive action, all that stuff. Today I really want to talk about who you are becoming. So not just what you can create, but who as a person you are becoming, and this matters just as much if not more than anything you want to do or create. So if you set a goal in your future from your future, you will become a different person through that goal.
It may or may not be someone you really want to become. So that’s something else you have to look out for. If you plan ahead of time who you want to become in the future, you will create it. And that is so fun. It is something that I didn’t really realize until somewhat recently. You always hear about goal setting, but I want to talk about who you can become.
I never was an entrepreneur and I love sharing my story because I think you hear so many of those stories, like self-made stories, but they all start with like I was selling a bubblegum in kindergarten and got in trouble because I was like such a hustler from day one and I didn’t like school and it was a natural fit for me to be an entrepreneur. That’s like the story I’ve heard over and over in different settings.
I am not that story. I am totally different. I always wanted to be a lawyer. I love school. I am not the smartest, but I work so hard and I always achieve my goals. Right? So that is kind of the story and frame that I have always pursued whatever it is I want. But then I started a blog and then I was introduced to entrepreneurship and then I had to create the person that I wanted to become.
I wanted to become an entrepreneur, so I had to start hanging around entrepreneurs and thinking like an entrepreneur and feeling like an entrepreneur. And now it’s like in my blood. It’s so funny because five years ago or 10 years ago, I was such a rule follower. Like that’s like the telltale of if you’re a real entrepreneur, you just like, I hate the rules and now I cannot stand the rules.
I’m like always breaking the rules now. I love it because, um, it’s just a different mindset right. Now of course, this is within my own frame, I should say. Like I have a moral compass and I’m always like abiding by the law. But aside from that, like I will break the rules all the time.
But you know, lawyer Natalie never broke the rules. She was like miss compliance. And it’s really, really fun to think about how I created this new personality, this new person that I have become over the last few years. And the reason I share it is because it’s a really good example of how you can do it for yourself, but it takes intentionality. Now who you want to become in any area of your life will depend on what you want and what your values are. And I want you to know that it might not be that you have one specific idea right now, but you can come up with a multifaceted idea of this person that you want to be.
A really good example is, okay, let’s say you want to start a business and you want to make six figures and let’s say you also want to get in shape and lose weight. However many pounds, 30 pounds. Let’s say you also want to live in the suburbs in a bigger house. Let’s say you want to have more kids, whatever it is, you have different areas of your life that are going to, you know, require you to take different actions to get those results.
But you have to come up with this identity where you are that person so you have the thoughts and you feel the feelings of the person who has the results that you have in your life. The best way that I know of to come up with this besides your own imagination, is for you to find someone who has the results you want in any given area.
It’d be great if you found that, um, one person who embodies multiple areas of your life, but you really want to start following them and thinking like them and being like them. So you pay attention to how they talk, how they think, uh, what they are reading, what they’re listening to, how they interact with their spouse and their kids, how they run their business, how they’re working out, how they’re cooking, whatever it is you want to start to pay attention to how they’re thinking and feeling because that will give you ideas for yourself if that’s the type of person that you want to become.
It’s really, really useful if you have someone that you can use as an example to become that person ahead of time. Again, I’ve mentioned this in the last episode but I learned this from reading the book, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself and it’s by Dr. Joe Dispenza.
Fantastic book. It’s really long. I listened to the audio uh, several times actually. It’s like over 10 hours long but it’s so good. And what I really like is that he talks about how it’s not enough for you to just think it into existence and this is really good because people can miss interpret like mindset work and they think like, Oh if you just repeat these affirmations you’re just going to manifest things in your life.
And that’s why there’s so much like backlash cause like that does not work. It’s not enough to think the thought. You have to actually believe it because when you believe it that’s when it creates the feelings. And that is key. Everything you don’t do or do is based on the way that you feel. So all of the action you take, all of the inaction you do is based totally on how you feel and your feelings are generated from your thoughts.
So if you are in the habit of having thoughts and beliefs that generate feelings of worry and self-pity, you might think it’s a good idea that you’d want to create a business, but you’re in such the habit of indulging in self pity and worry that you might be repeating. I can build a six figure business over and over, but like you don’t really believe it.
So you still are worried and feel self pity and you won’t create the result of a business in your life. So you have to pay attention to how you’re feeling just as much as what you’re thinking. I really recommend reading this book. It will help you and consider the eight life categories. I talk about this in my book. Dream Year. If you go to Nataliebacon.com/dream-year, the eight life categories I talk about, are health, relationships, money, career or business, personal, spiritual, religious development, you know, environment, organization, space and home life, recreation. Fun and service and contribution.
Okay, so eight life categories. You can break them up however you want. You don’t have to use mine, but just keep in mind that for whatever you want in your life, this is a good framework to use to create who you want to become. Like do you want to become this six or seven figure business owner who works three days a week? Who’s married with four kids, who lives in the suburbs, who runs a $2 million business, who’s got little puppies, who volunteers at church on the weekends? Whatever it is.
Like you don’t have to limit yourself. You can focus on who you want to become. Now those are results, right? Those are things that you can turn into goals. But when you do it this way, when you think of who you are becoming, you do it in a way where you imagine this new personality.
So the person that you are now is not the person who has the results that you are aiming for in the future or else you would already have them. So this exercise is really useful because you’ll start to act like that person ahead of time and you’ll create the result ahead of time, which is super, super fun.
So think about what you would be wearing, what you would be doing, what you would be thinking, what kind of car you would have, how much money would you make? What’s your health like? What’s your family like? What kind of wife, husband, mom, dad, are you? What kind of personality do you have? What kind of thoughts and feelings do you experience on a regular basis? Just do this brainstorm and write down all of the things that you want, you know, five years from now. Like who are you five years from now?
Because what I see happen the most is like people have this idea of who they are in five years, but they don’t actually take any action to become that person. So what happens is they’re the person they are now and they have this idea of who they are in five years and then they do nothing for three years, four years.
And then they’re like, Oh well life happened. And my dream changed or I don’t want that anymore, but really they do want it. They just did nothing about it. It takes consciousness and intentionality to become the person you want to become, but it’s so amazing that you can actually do it. You really, really need to make sure that you don’t let not knowing how get in your way. If you can just practice new beliefs and new feelings, you will become that person. The example I love to give is becoming a six figure business owner.
I remember when my coaches called me and they were so excited for me and they were like, how does that feel like you did it? You’re now a six figure business owner. And I was like, yeah, it feels good. But like you know like I wasn’t as ecstatic as they were and the reason is because I was already that person before I saw the numbers in the bank. Like I already knew that was happening.
It was like as good as done and so I can tell you that if I was a seven figure business owner right now, I would be jumping up and down screaming, so ecstatic, which is why I’m not yet right because I haven’t become that person ahead of time. If you become the person ahead of time when you get the result, it’s kind of just like expected like you already, it doesn’t mean you’re not appreciative of it.
Like I was very grateful and like very happy that I got that result and I was a six figure business owner but it wasn’t a surprise. There’s like the difference between like being happy and grateful versus like being surprised. So by the time I become a seven figure business owner, I can only assume that I will have already created the thoughts and beliefs and the feelings such that I’m not going to be surprised.
Like I would be right now if all of a sudden I had made $83,333 this month or something like that. I also love the example with food here because I think most of us can relate to this. So if you’ve ever wanted to lose weight before, you know what it’s like to constantly be thinking about food and what am I going to eat and what’s the food going to be like there?
And I want to lose weight, but I’m over eating and on and on and on. There’s so much chatter about food and what you weigh and how you look and all of that stuff, right? If you’ve ever also had a period in your life where you’ve been content with what you weigh, you know that you are not sitting around thinking about food and losing weight, right?
So if you want to lose weight, you have to actually become the person who isn’t obsessed with food and losing weight. It’s so interesting. It’s like you want to lose weight so you become obsessed with food and in a way that’s almost like counterproductive because the person who’s skinny and weights what you want to weigh like isn’t thinking about food at all. They’re thinking about other things, right? It’s like when I hit six figures, I wasn’t thinking about how to make six figures.
I was thinking about other things. Right. Very, very interesting. So just notice that with whoever you want to become in your future, that you are actually thinking about what they would be thinking about or you would be thinking about as this person. I like to do the journal entries where I’m already this person and write, and if you do this right, you’ll feel the feelings that you would feel in this space.
And it’s really, really powerful because you will create it ahead of time and you experience really elevated emotions like excitement and joy and love. And it’s really, really fun. Like I’ve been doing it every morning when I talked about that on Instagram. Actually @NatalieRBacon, if you’re not following, you can see there where I explained the whole journaling process. I love the Paul Arden quote where he says, your vision of where or who you want to be is the greatest asset you have.
I think it’s so easy for us to get caught up in the day to day grind that we’re not really comprehending what this means. Right? Like you can create your future and be a totally different person intentionally. So you’re going to become a different person, right? You’re different than you were at five years old, at 10 at 15 at 20 at 25 at 30 you keep evolving.
So the goal here is for you to do it intentionally so that you’re not surprised in five years with where you end up, right? So you’re either at your goal weight or your gaining weight or your losing weight. Okay. Where is that going to take you with your health in five years? How is that going to affect the rest of your life? What kind of mom or wife or best friend or sister are you becoming? What kind of business owner are you?
What kind of employee are you? Who do you want to have in your inner circle? What kind of friends do you want to be around? Like what kind of conversations do you want to be having? I think it’s so easy for us to uh, kind of give ourselves excuses for why our results are what they are in our lives.
Like, Oh, I just don’t have, um, people in my community who are interested in what I’m interested in or you know, there’s just not, whatever the reason is like that you can’t get whatever it is you want, but I really want to encourage you to know that you can become whoever you want to become. Like I will tell you five years ago I did not know that I would be a six figure business owner in Chicago. Like that is amazing. And all that tells me is that I wasn’t dreaming big enough then.
Okay, so now I know better and I’m not just dreaming one year to one year. I think it’s so interesting, like at the end of the year we are planning just for the next year. Like I’m already planning 2020 like another year out and it’s not like down to the month or detailed yet. But I have things that I know that I want to do that I need to practice.
Like I have this year already planned, has been planned for months and I have the following year I’m starting to plot out. And I think the more future focused you are about who you are becoming, the smoother it is for you to get there. Of course things happen and things come up, but you’re not in reactive mode. You’re very proactive and that’s like the difference. So when you’re in December and you’re planning for January, like that’s, you’re not that far ahead, right?
It’s very month to month. It’s not that future-focused. When you can really set aside time to think about the next five years, like that is magic. Like you can create and become so much in five years and I want you to set aside an hour at least to think about who you want to become. Like it’s up to you.
And if you don’t choose intentionally, like the world will choose for you and the result might not be exactly what you want. So you have to make sure that you’re clear about what it is you want. Like what’s your vision for yourself? I think this is so fun because it’s like if you’re not scaring yourself a little bit, like then you’re not doing it right. So if I would have told myself I’m years ago I would be running my own business, making six figures more money than I ever have from Chicago, Illinois, like living downtown. Like I would have been terrified.
Like it would have been awesome. Like I, that’s definitely um, something I would have loved, but I also would have been terrified because I would have thought that was such a big stretch goal. Like, how could I work for myself? What was I doing? You know, like how would I get insurance? Like all of these things, like why Chicago, all of this stuff, all this chatter.
And that’s kind of what you want. When you think about who you’re becoming. If it’s not scaring you a little bit, it’s not big enough. So now I do that and my five year, who am I becoming is super scary, but it’s so fun and I know that means I’m doing it right. And now that I’m looking that far out, I can plan that far ahead knowing that the how will change and that’s okay.
But at least I’m on the path and at least when the world throws things at me, I can be very clear about my yeses and my nose. Like, does this align with where I’m going? Because you’ll find that you’ll get so many great opportunities and you have to be able to say no like no, no, no, like just say no. It’s beautiful because it doesn’t mean that, um, you know, you’re turning something down that you shouldn’t, it doesn’t mean that you’re a bad person or that you know, you should say yes.
It just means that it’s not in line with where you’re going. So it’s not a good opportunity for you at this moment. And when you have a clear vision of who you’re becoming, it becomes a lot easier to say no knowing that you are making the best decision for you and not doing something just because someone else wants you to do.
So I really want you to think about for this next year coming up, who are you becoming and one of my favorite exercises is to write a letter to yourself one year from now, who are you? What kind of thoughts do you have? What kind of feelings are you mostly experiencing? I like to think of your top three emotions. What kind of friend are you? What kind of business owner, employee are you? What are your finances like?
Whatever it is that you have that big goal in. Maybe you know your weight, write a letter to your future self one year from now. Just write, write, write, write. Don’t think too much about it for like 15 to 30 minutes and then do this like on paper. I think it’s a really good idea to do a hard copy paper and then put it away somewhere and then open it next December and see what it’s like.
I think this is so powerful. Some people do six month letter. I don’t really do that because I feel like six months isn’t enough time. Like, if I would have written a letter to my self in a six month increment last year, I would have accomplished very few things. But if I would have done one year, I would have accomplished so much more and been in a completely different place.
So depending on your style and how productive you are throughout the year, six month letter or a one year letter I think can be a really fantastic exercise where you date it and you open it. Um, next December before the year end. It can be really, really powerful. So think about who you’re becoming. Decide intentionally. You can join the free Design, Your Dream Life training at Nataliebacon.com/dreamlifetraining. That’s all one word. Okay. Make it an amazing week. I will see you next week.
Thank you for listening to the Design Your Dream Life podcast. Subscribe to the podcast to get the latest episodes sent directly to you. To learn more about designing your dream life visit NatalieBacon.com.