When you don't know how

Do you ever think about what you want most in life… if you believed anything was possible?

When I ask people what they really want, they tell me. But it’s followed by, “I don’t know how to [fill-in-the-blank].”

I tell them I have good news.

I say, “How is none of your business.”

I teach them how to believe without knowing how to do the thing they want to do.

Believe. Then take one action. 

Once step—the next step forward—is enough.

Want to lose weight? Have better relationships? Make more money? Have a more fulfilling career? You can.

In this episode, I’ll show you exactly how to do this in your life for whatever it is you want most.

Here are more personal development resources that will help you when you don’t know how:

Full Episode Transcript

Welcome to the Design Your Dream Life podcast where it’s all about designing your life on your terms and now your host, Natalie Bacon.

Hey, how’s it going? I am so excited to be with you right now. I started a new routine this morning where I get up and go to the gym at 6:00 AM. It’s freaking amazing. If you do not have your gym routine integrated almost a daily, I would say it’s not a habit and I swear it’s like been a game changer for me because I just love having something become part of my routine so I don’t even have to think about am I doing it? Am I not doing it? There’s no chatter at all. It’s like every day, Monday through Friday, 6:00 AM I’m at the gym. Love it.

I’m also changing my business around so much. Oh my gosh, this is so fun. I did the life coach training earlier this year actually. It was in the fall of last year and part of that is I get to kind of redo my whole business for the next year.

I get training. I’m going to business training coming up here and I am making some big changes so you guys know that my target market is creative career driven women. Typically they’re in their thirties I talk about personal development, money mindset and online business and I have these three courses right now and I’m going to rebrand them, which is super fun.

I also have the personal development and business coaching which will be coming out later this year called Grow You. If you want to join the waitlist, you can do that on Nataliebacon.com/coaching but anyways, I was just so excited for all of this that’s going on. I swear I can’t say it enough. Getting around people who have the results you want is literally a life changer. It will get you the results so much faster and in such a more certain way than just like winging it. Winging it is still better than not doing it at all, but if you can get around the people who have the results you want.

That’s how you scale. I feel really, really grateful and appreciative that I am in the program I’m in right now and get to be around all these seven figure entrepreneurs because that is my next goal.

Today. I want to talk to you about when you don’t know how to do something, whatever it is. I hear it all the time. It’s like I want to make money online, but I don’t know how, Oh yeah, it would be nice to, you know, make $1 million, you know? But the implication there is like, but I don’t know how, right? It’s like we do this for everything that we kind of want or we think we want, but we don’t actually do it because we give ourselves a reason and we say, we don’t know how. And I want you to get rid of that belief completely. That’s my pitch for this episode.

I want you to think about whatever it is you want, just whatever it is, and I want you to come up with a goal for that without knowing how. So your brain will just automatically tell you, you need to know how and you don’t know how. Therefore, it’s not possible, but your brain is wrong. It’s just your brains are just wired that way to try and keep you alive. It’s doing what it’s supposed to be doing. Nothing’s gone wrong.

And you can just still believe. So what I see happening is that people won’t believe what they want to believe because they think it’s impossible. So by not believing that they actually create, not getting it. So here’s an example. Someone will want to build a seven figure business, but they literally think that is something they could never figure out how to do. They don’t know how.

So they completely dismiss it and don’t go after it and don’t set a goal for it. And they then create the reality, which is not getting the result of the business. Now, if you just believe and you don’t know how, all you have to do is take action a little bit, one step forward, one step forward, fail a whole bunch and keep going forward and you figure out how along the way.

So that sounds easy, right? But I’m telling you it’s the truth. I want to use me as an example. I never would have thought I’d be an entrepreneur running a business ever. Like ever. I was not selling lemonade, I was not selling gum in school. I was not Gary Ving it out, I always wanted to be a lawyer. I was always going to be a professional. That is how my family is doctors everywhere and like that was just it.

Like no one is entrepreneur unless they own like their own practice, dental practice, medical practice, that sort of thing. But as soon as I learned about entrepreneurship, which by the way is amazing that we live in the year we do because you can literally just turn on a podcast episode and have new lessons and lectures and motivational talks in your ear. How amazing is that?

And that’s when I first learned about entrepreneurship and making money online and reading blogs that way. Like we’re just so lucky to have the internet. So I just started believing that I could do it because I saw other people doing it. Now this isn’t like, Oh my gosh, I think I’m going to be, you know, an NBA player because someone else on this planet does it. Right. It’s like this requires no particular skill, if you will. It’s just something that you have to learn.

It would be like, you know, going to professional skill. It’s not like you need to have some God given talent, right, to become a lawyer or a doctor or a pharmacist or whatever. But if you follow the program, if you study really hard, if you do all the work, you might have some failures along the way, but eventually you got the end result if you’re that committed to it.

I knew nothing. I you guys, I started my blog and I didn’t even read blogs at all. I registered the wrong domain like I forget what I registered it as, but I used to be Thefinancegirl.com I registered, I think it was like Thefinancialgirl.com or something like I used to make mistakes. I would stay up all night. I would do all these things. I had no idea this is going to lead where it did.

I just was committed to the end result. When I started to make a little money online and I started taking it more seriously, I would get up at 4:00 AM to work on my business before work. I would get two hours of working on my business, just doing one little step in front of the other one little step to move me forward and I might fail, but then I would try again the next day. Getting up at 4:00 AM and working two hours before work. I would three days a week go sit in my car and my full time job at lunch and I would work. I would eat peanut butter and jelly, sit in my car and work on my business. I stopped working out. I stopped cooking. I started buying like quick foods that I could eat very easily. I spent all my free time on my business.

Testing and taking action. Thefinancegirl.com looks nothing like my business right now. Nothing. It’s so funny. I just had one of my girlfriends edit all my blog posts and she was saying like she could tell the exact posts where I really transformed and change everything. She has edited all of my blog posts and has just seen the evolution in a very short time of my growth and without taking all of that action, I never would have gotten to the place that I am now. I made so many mistakes, right?

I at first my target market, my niche was more of the frugal living, a lot of like my, my market wasn’t willing and able to buy. They didn’t have money. That’s a huge mistake if you’re building a business. The key is that I didn’t get stuck in passive action learning, so I would listen to podcasts, I would take a course.

I would then go take action. I was taking tons and tons of action, which is how I’m able to get the results I am. It’s because I don’t stay in passive action. I don’t stay in the learning. I actually put the learning into action. I just do the work. I do it over and over and over again and I fail and it’s not a straight path, but the entire time I just kept going.

My brain would literally tell me that I didn’t know what I was doing and that it wouldn’t happen, but I just didn’t listen to it because I was so committed to the vision of becoming a full time blogger and now you know, I’m a life coach and entrepreneur, but at the time all I wanted to do was make six figures blogging. I was so committed to that result. I really did not focus at all on how I just stayed committed.

I stayed focused on just what’s the next action. Okay, what’s the next action to get me there? It would have been really easy to stay comfortable at that two to $3,000 a month mark where I was for a really long time, but I decided to get more courses and coaching and then put all of that into action. You guys know from my constraint podcast episode where I only do one to one, I invest in one course and then I take action completely in everything in that course from that coach for that period of time.

There’s so many opportunities I wanted to do this year, but I’m not doing them. You know? I wanted to go to Tony Robbins. I got invited to all these other masterminds. I’m not doing them because this year I’m committed to doing Brooke Castillo’s entrepreneurship program, which is part of the life coach training that I took in the fall.

So for an entire year, the only learning I’m doing is from her program because it’s too much to implement. If I focused on all these other different ways, I didn’t know in the past how long it was going to take me to get here and people would always ask that and I just never focused on it. And I think the reason is because it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter to me how long it would take. This is what I was committed to. I was 100% committed to the end result. If you get that committed in what you want and in your goal, you will take massive action to make it happen. So you can’t just sit there wanting it and wishing it and desiring it. You actually have to take the action. So you know, people say, okay, well if I just, you know, want it. And it’s kind of like the secret, right?

The manifesting and all that. It’s like it’s not enough to just want it. You actually have to take the action. I didn’t know how I was going to get here and I’m here and so many other entrepreneurs will say the same thing. It’s like you’re committed to the end result, but you don’t need to know how at all. And it’s actually great news because it gives you permission to set that goal and to start taking action.

All you need to do is have an idea of the next right step. And then you might be right. You might be wrong. You know, it’s funny, I was getting coaching today on, on my business and I was listening to other entrepreneurs on the call get coaching as well. And someone was talking about kind of where they’re at in their business and what they’re doing, and the coach who was coaching her said, well, now you’re going to have to do something completely different because you’re doing all this Instagram posting and Instagram lives and Facebook lives and you’re comfortable with that because I’ve been doing it a lot and you’re getting good at it, but that’s only getting you the certain result.

Now you want a different result. So now you have to take a new and different action. Now you have to start advertising on Facebook and now you’re going to have to go learn Facebook ads and that’s going to be a whole new thing and your brain’s going to make you feel very uncomfortable. But that’s part of the process. You take a look at what’s working and then you figure out where you want to go and then all you do is you just need to take that one next step and the next forward direction. And if you do the Facebook ads and you fail, it doesn’t mean Facebook ads don’t work. It means you try a different avenue. I have such a good example of this in a really small way.

So I just got back from California and I was out there visiting some friends and my brother and I went on a little adventure with my friend Rachel. She is @thecollegenutritionist, I think it’s just college nutritionist on Instagram. She is one of my amazing online and now real friends. And we biked the golden gate bridge and there were so many instances along this journey that we didn’t know how to do and that we kind of failed and we had to overcome these obstacles and then move forward.

And I just think this is such a good example of anything that you want to do, whether it’s lose weight, whether it’s meet someone, whether it’s make $1 million or whether it’s starting your own business, whatever it is, you can do it without knowing how. So let me tell you what happened. We got our tickets for the golden gate bridge. We met at a certain location. I couldn’t even find her at first. I was on the wrong street. So I had to call her and figure that out.

That wasn’t part of the plan. I had to go to the bike shop with her and we had to watch this video. I didn’t know we were doing that. Once we finally got started, we had trouble getting to the bridge. We ended up down by the water and at a dead end and then we had to turn around and ask someone where the bridge was, like the path to the bridge. So then we followed them and we figured it out that way.

Then we, you know, when we’re on the bridge there are these bikers like whizzing by us and going really fast around us and we kind of have to pull our bikes to the side at some point and you know, just to talk or take pictures and you know, then when we get over the bridge, which we thought it was going to be straight and it wasn’t, we want to go to this restaurant where we have reservations and we can’t figure out how to get from the bridge to the little town where the restaurant is.

So we start going and we go kind of far and we get to a stop sign and we’re kind of confused. We’re looking at our GPSs and we’re at the wrong like stop. We really are. So we asked some people, turns out we went the wrong way, we had to go all the way back down and around and under to this new path and we’re looking at signs along the way and Rachel stops and talks to another guy to make sure we’re on the right path this time and turns out we are. And eventually we make our way to the restaurant. And then on the way after the restaurant we go to the ferry to go back. But we take our bikes past the ferry. We figure out where on the wrong way we have to turn around, ask someone where the ferries are, we take our bikes, we finally get on the ferry.

Turns out we got on the wrong ferry. We had to wait several stops on the ferry before we finally got back to San Francisco. We take our bikes back, we’re at the wrong bike shop and then we have to go to a different bike shop. Okay. And all along the way, we have all these little hiccups, right? This is such a small example. We had so much fun along the way. We were smiling, we were laughing. We never even interpreted any of the stops making it mean that we weren’t gonna get the end result. Like never once where we like, Oh well we’re on the wrong street. We better just stop now. We’re not gonna make it to the bridge. Or Oh well we went the wrong way. I guess we better turn around. We’re not gonna make it to the restaurant or we’re never going to make it to the ferry.

Like we don’t see it. It’s not anywhere nearby. We don’t know what to do. No, we just took one step in front of the other one step and even when it was the wrong step, we figure it out what to do next by taking more action. We went the wrong way. We ask someone for help, we followed someone else. We kept trying over and over knowing eventually we were going to get to our destination.

So my point is that use this example of how we know that when we’re committed to something, we take action to get it. But we don’t do this for our goals. So whatever it is you want, I want you to set a goal for it and not worry about the how. So you don’t have to know how to actually do it. And I’m telling you the path that I took from starting my business to where I am now I could have never predicted it ever in a million years. Like it was so amazing. It was so different. It was so much different than I thought. And in an amazing way. It’s just something that you can’t predict ahead of time.

You just choose your end result and then you take the most action that you can take right now. You take one step forward, one step forward, one step forward, and you make sure you’re keep getting new results forward. Even if it’s failing. Okay, that didn’t work, then you take a new result, a different result. You don’t need to know how you really don’t. You will have problems and you will have obstacles and that’s okay because you’re going to have problems and obstacles anyways, like that’s just good news because it means you might as well go for it now. Right? It’s like you’re going to have problems anyways so you might as well go for your dreams and you might as well believe so that you’re moving forward.

You buy the tickets, you get on the bike and you figure out the rest on your way. Knowing that you’ll stop and ask for help when you need it. Not knowing how is not a good reason not to do something. I love the Les Brown quote where he says, how is none of your business.. It’s one of my favorite quotes because time and time again, I continue to just believe in a future from my future without knowing how I’m like, I don’t know how, but I don’t just believe and expect it to come to me like it doesn’t happen. You make it happen. You have to take action to create the results in your life. It’s action that will get you the results. Remember, so your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings create your actions and your actions create your results. It starts in your mind, but you actually have to take the actions.

You don’t need to know how. You just have to take action and try and be so willing to fail because when you’re willing to fail, but you stay committed to the end result, you’ll just get back up. You’ll try a different path. You’ll eventually get to the bridge. You’ll eventually get to the restaurant. You’ll eventually get to the ferry.

It might take twice as long. Who cares? Right? It’s like people always want to know how long it’s going to take to build a business. I don’t know. You know? How much are you willing to fail? How uncomfortable are you willing to get? Right? How many offers are you willing to make? You know it’s going to take as long as it takes you to do it. Like I’m not going to build your business for you. You’re going to build your business for you and we always want to know ahead of time the how and make sure there’s no risk.

There’s always risk, but that’s just life. That’s in every area and it’s a beautiful thing, especially when you go for it. Know that getting to the result will require a lot of steps, but there’s no rush, right? There’s time. You have time. This is your life. You know, the next five years are going to go by anyways. You’re either going to be five years older without that business or you’re going to be five years older with that business, it’s up to you.

I just don’t want you to let not knowing how stop you, I see so many people give that as an excuse of not to do something. They don’t want to make six or seven figures because they don’t know how. It’s like make a goal and focus on that and you will grow in the process in ways you couldn’t even predict and the world needs more of what you have because you’re you and nobody else can do what’s in your heart the way that you can. This journey is life changing. So start now. Set that goal. Get committed to the end result, not knowing how and just take one step forward. You can get more of this in my online business training. If you go to Nataliebacon.com/online-business-training, I will see you there. Make it an amazing week.

Thank you for listening to the Design Your Dream Life podcast. Subscribe to the podcast to get the latest episodes sent directly to you. To learn more about designing your dream life visit NatalieBacon.com.