I only write when I am inspired. Fortunately I am inspired at 9 o’clock every morning.
― William Faulkner
Do you ever wake up and just not feel like it?
Or, maybe it’s after work when you’re supposed to go to the gym, and you don’t feel like going.
Or, on that Saturday when you committed to working on your business, but you just don’t feel like it.
Sometimes, you don’t feel like doing whatever it is you have to do.
Sometimes, I don’t feel like it.
I know what it’s like to feel like not wanting to do whatever it is I have to do.
So, what’s the solution—the secret to doing what you have to do when you don’t want to?
That’s what I’m sharing in this episode. Exactly how you can get out of the funk and solve the problem of not wanting to do it.
Listen to this episode now to hear how…
Here are more of my favorite resources for how to overcome “when you don’t feel like it”:
- How To Do What You Have To Do When You Don’t Feel Like It (blog post)
- How to Be Productive When You’re Not Feeling Motivated (blog post)
- 7 Steps To Stop Feeling Overwhelmed When Your Life Seems Chaotic (blog post)
- Conquering Anxiety Free Course (training)
- Grow You (coaching)
Full When You Don’t Feel Like It Episode Transcript
Welcome to the Design Your Dream Life podcast where it’s all about designing your life on your terms and now your host, Natalie Bacon.
Hello my friend. I’m really, really happy to be with you right now. I’ve said it before but seriously recording this podcast is like my sacred time with you. I feel like we are having that cup of coffee together. We’re going on a walk together. We are just having a moment. So I’m with you and I just, I love this time.
Especially this week I am having a week. I have a lot of things that I’m doing right now and I know this because it’s a lot more than normal and I know you can relate because you guys are telling me how many things that you have to do and even though my business is just doing so well, I am making more money than I ever have ever and I’m living literally the life that I dreamed of and never would’ve even thought it would have happened a year ago.
I’d be here right now and now I’m thinking about scaling to the next level and it’s just fricking awesome. There are still days and moments all the time when things are just not so great and they’re not great because of my thoughts about them, right? It’s like that negative emotion, and I talk about this being the contrast of life.
So life is 50/50. 50% positive emotion, 50% negative emotion. This is just the way that the world was designed. So if you think about the world throughout the history of time, there has always been like good and bad, right? Whether you believe in God or another higher power or whatever. For me, it’s God. That’s just the way that he created it to be. And when you accept this, life gets so much better because then you’re not fighting it. You’re not thinking that life should be different than it is.
You’re like, Oh, this is just the contrast of life. This is just the bad part of life. Oh, I just don’t feel like it. Nothing’s gone wrong. It’s just the part of the day when I don’t feel like doing something right and you start to accept it instead of resisting it. And that is where there’s so, so, so much power. And I’m bringing this up for today’s episode because so many people will come to me with a problem in their business or with their goals and they want my help.
But it’s not long before I realized that there really isn’t a problem at all. They’re just completely unwilling to experience the negative emotion and keep moving forward. So they think it’s supposed to feel good and I just want to let you know that nothing has gone wrong if you feel like crap, okay. I feel like crap too.
No, it’s, it’s um, you feel like crap because of your thoughts about whatever it is. But I’m pretty sure you want to be a person who feels bad sometimes. Right? Something happens in your life you’re disappointed about. You want to be disappointed. It’s a choice, but it’s your choice. You don’t want to be someone who is happy all the time and doesn’t experience negative emotion because you would kind of be a sociopath, right?
It’s like, Oh, I feel like crap. And that’s okay. But specifically, and I’m kind of going on a tangent now, I want to, I want to talk about when you don’t feel like it, I’m talking about when you wake up and you really just don’t feel like working on that business like I got you. I get it. I want to talk about when you are supposed to stick to that diet or that plan and you’re just not feeling like it when you are supposed to go on 20 dates in the next couple months and you really just don’t feel like it.
Whatever it is that you set out to do when the time comes to do it, you’re not going to feel like it. And what I want you to do when this happens is I want you to ask yourself why. So why don’t you feel like it? Because when if you’re honest with yourself and you give yourself a reason, then you will know what to do about it.
So here’s what I mean. If you don’t feel like it because it’s not aligned with your goals or vision, then that’s a really good reason not to do something. So if you’re thinking like whatever it is I want to do isn’t really aligned with the direction I’m going and thinking about stopping because it’s not on the path I want to go on, that’s like a really good reason not to do something. But this is where most of us are, right?
If you don’t feel like it because it’s uncomfortable, but if you did it, it would move you forward. That’s a really bad reason not to do something. And it’s the same feeling, right? It’s still discomfort. It might be a specific feeling like fear or just being uncomfortable, whatever it is, right? Whatever it is, it feels bad and it’s really helpful to like name that feeling when you don’t feel like it.
Like, well, what does that feel like? Right? Is it self pity or is it fear? Or is it something else? And notice yourself feeling it and then ask yourself why you’re feeling it. What is the thought that’s causing that feeling? Like, Oh, I just don’t want to today. Or Oh, I’m not, it’s not gonna make a difference anyways. So there’s a really big difference between beating yourself up and indulging in self pity and then having that discipline but feeling like it’s hard work.
Okay. So I am completely convinced that the only reason I’m successful in business and my career is because I’m super comfortable being uncomfortable and I just want to let you know that it wasn’t always this way. I didn’t just have this mental toughness all along. I wasn’t just someone who naturally thought it felt good to feel bad. What happened was I stopped making the failures and the obstacles mean so much and I started expecting it and I started getting really, really comfortable being uncomfortable and I would lean into it and like little by little I would stop making all of that stuff means so much. And even when I didn’t feel like it, I never let those emotions get in the way of taking action forward. So I can tell almost instantly, like almost instantly whether someone’s going to be successful in business or not. And it’s like this attitude, it’s this commitment.
It has nothing to do with their results. Like I never need to know how much money they’ve made in their business, right? It’s all a mindset thing. I can just tell how committed they are because if you are committed to that end result, even if you don’t feel like it, you just do it anyways.
There are so many days where I’m just like, man, I really don’t want to do that. Like there’s so much that I’m doing right now cause I’m scaling. Right? So it’s uncomfortable to scale at any point, right? From zero to a $500 more a month from $500 to a thousand from a thousand to $5,000 from $5,000 to $10,000 from $10,000 a month to $83,333 a month, which is the seven figure number, right? It’s very uncomfortable at each stage. It’s just a different type of discomfort. So when I was trying to get to six figures, there were so many things that I had to do that I didn’t want to do.
I used to get up at 4:00 AM, remember, remember that 4:00 AM I have not seen 4AM and so long, like it’s amazing. Right? That’s amazing. Now I quote unquote sleeping until six or whenever. Sometimes I get up at 5:30 sometimes I get up at 6:30 right? Because now I’m in a different season. But now the discomfort comes when I am trying to outsource. So now I’m trying to outsource a little more and think about hiring and think about how I’m going to scale and focus more on sales and marketing to reach more people to help more people.
And it’s just a different type of growth. It’s still really uncomfortable. I still don’t know what I’m doing. Right? It’s never stopped me. I produce B minus work all the time. Right? And I go back and fix it. So an example of this was when I created my courses last year, I produced them, I put them out and it was uncomfortable knowing that there were so many typos in my courses, I put them out anyways.
Right? And guess what? It got me to six figures, but the last couple months I had someone go through all of those slides and edit them. So I went back over them after they had been produced. So I’m so well trained mentally in making sure that the discomfort doesn’t stop me. And that’s what I want for you.
I don’t want you to think that the discomfort is means something that it doesn’t. So what I see a lot of is that people use this like idea of self care and get it confused with feeling discomfort for your goals. So self care can mean a lot of different things to different people. But what I want you to make sure you do when you’re deciding what self care is for you is to think about what you want in your life in the future. Think about the result that you want.
If you are taking action towards getting that result and it feels uncomfortable guess what you’re doing it, right, right. You’re getting out of your comfort zone. If it was easy, you would already have that result. There would be no growth, there would be no new thing to learn. There would be the results already, but you don’t have those results. So you have to get them and it takes feeling very, very uncomfortable. With self care it’s all about feeling good and I want you to do all the self care things that make you feel good, right? I’m really into buying flowers for myself right now. That’s my version of self care because it’s something that I never would have done in the past and like I really enjoy it and I do it from a place of like loving myself and really wanting to do it for me.
Someone else buying flowers from themselves it might not do it for them. But the reason that I bring that up here is because that is very intentional. And I, and I make an effort to notice how I feel when I’m buying the flowers and I really appreciate it and it kind of indulgent it, right? That’s like my self care.
Contrast this with when I am pursuing my goals, I never expect it to feel good. Like I, I never expect it to just flow to me and be easy and um, you know, feel like rainbows and daisies. In fact, I pretty much expect it to be the opposite. I know that when I made only a couple grand a month and then I scaled up to making 20, 30 grand a month, there was so much discomfort all the time and I constantly had to remind myself like, Oh, this is part of the process.
Nothing has gone wrong. Right? So if you just remember that circumstances are completely neutral. So everything that’s happening in your life, like circumstances are neutral and they only are going to have meaning. And when you give them meaning, so that it just has the meaning that you give it.
So instead of making these obstacles and making this discomfort mean something negative about the direction that you’re headed. I want you to ask yourself what that discomfort is really from. It’s from putting yourself out there and taking action to get the result you want. Even if you don’t get the result you want, but you’re doing it right. If that’s the discomfort, then you’re doing it right and you should be proud of yourself, right? Even if it feels uncomfortable, especially if it feels uncomfortable, it’s just not true that things are going to come easily and it’s just not true that you’re going to wake up and see your calendar and just be like, Oh, yay.
I get to go produce tons of stuff all day long, right? There’s going to be days where you’re so energized and you feel so amazing doing it, but there’s going to be other days where you have a thought like, Hey, I really just want to stay in bed, or I’d rather have a glass of wine or turn on Netflix or eat that piece of cake, but that is a different kind of pleasure, right?
That’s indulging in pleasure, that’s going to set you back from your goals. That’s not self care. There’s a huge difference between, um, intentional self care to love yourself and seeking pleasure at the expense of your goals. And you have to be honest with yourself because your brain will like trick you into thinking that that pleasure seeking is actually self care. And you’ll come up with all these excuses for why it’s a good idea to have the cake, to watch the Netflix, to Oh, you know, give yourself whatever cause you deserve it, right?
Be very, very careful with that. The way that I know how best to do this is to just be really intentional about your decisions. So decide what goal you have and then create an action plan. Put those action items on your calendar as results and then follow through no matter what, especially when it’s uncomfortable, right?
So if you have a business that you are trying to get to six figures, you are going to create an action plan. Put all these action items on your list and on your calendar. And then when it’s time to do it, when you’re writing those emails, when you are writing those blog posts and you’re recording that podcast, when people unsubscribed from your list, when no one downloads your freebie, when you don’t sell anything on the webinar, you don’t make it mean anything. Okay. Okay, I got to fail.
Let’s go. Let’s go again. Next webinar. Let’s do it. Like you have to make sure you’re still committed to the goal and that you follow through even when you don’t feel like it. Totally different from self care. Self care isn’t about comfort, it’s about discipline. You’re taking care of yourself by following through on your goals and staying committed to your self.
I cringe when someone tells me that they stopped doing something because it just didn’t feel right. Okay. If you want to say, I’m not going to start a business anymore because I don’t want to and that’s no longer a goal and instead I’d rather work at this company and that’s where I’m headed and that’s my passion. Yes. Do it. Like I am all for that, but that’s not what I hear. What I hear is, Oh like it just didn’t work out. I just didn’t have the right people.
I just just didn’t feel right. I just didn’t, just didn’t feel right. It’s just not my passion. It’s just not feeling good. But really it’s kind of laced with this like self pity and uncertainty and it’s not the truth, right? So just be honest with yourself. The more that you do this, the more that you take action, even when you don’t feel like it, the more you’re going to train yourself to increase your mental toughness and you’re going to get results. And that right there can kind of be a game changer for how you feel about it. Right? It’s like maybe I don’t feel that great this week cause I have more things on my plate than normal. But I sometimes look around this apartment and I am like, damn, like I did this. I created this from my mind. Like that is pretty awesome. Right?
A year ago. I was in a full time job working so many hours a day, getting up at 4:00 AM or living in an apartment. I didn’t love like living in Ohio, just not living my best life. Okay. I know it’s like a year later a year goes so fast it’s going to go anyways. It’s like I look around and I’m like living in Chicago in this like amazing apartment. Literally designing every single day the way that I want.
Like I can just sleep until 10 tomorrow if I want. Like it’s freaking awesome. Right? Like there’s pride in that, right? Because I did it and that I say that of course not to like brag. I say that because I want that for you. Like whatever your dream life looks like, it’s going to take you making sacrifices. Now it’s going to take you being uncomfortable doing new things and creating your future from your future even though you have no clue how to do it right.
I don’t know how to build a seven figure business, but if you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen this morning I posted on my story.This like,easel, right? It’s like my new corner piece of my apartment because you know, it’s so big. I have like a one bedroom apartment and I’m building this seven figure business and it’s amazing, but I have no clue how and it’s so uncomfortable and I love it and it’s okay and I, the thing that is I’m certain is going to help me is that an okay feeling uncomfortable?
I never make the setbacks or feeling uncomfortable mean that I’m not going to succeed. Like I never doubt myself. I never make the discomfort mean that I’m not going to get the result I want. So be really committed to the result that you want. If it’s losing weight, if it’s building a six or seven figure business, if it’s quitting your job, if it’s, you know, meeting the love of your life, if it’s having kids, whatever it is, it can be anything.
Just be committed to that and just plan on feeling like crap half the time when you’re pursuing like nothing has gone wrong. Just make sure that when you feel like crap, when you feel like you don’t want to do whatever it is you have to do, it is that feeling because you’re moving forward not because you are indulging in self pity.
So if you look up self pity online, it’s the excessive, self-absorbed unhappiness over one’s own troubles. You guys, I am the queen of self pity. I’m not as bad now as I was, but I swear I used to really, really indulge in self pity and awareness is key. So most people do not think that they indulge in self pity and that’s kind of why I’m bringing it up here. It’s because it’s not something that you know, we commonly think, Oh yeah, like I’m feeling sorry for myself.
That’s why I feel so bad. But it’s so, so sneaky. It’s saying, Oh, I just don’t feel like it. It’s just not working. I’m going to stay in and take a rest. I need a break. I’m just going to watch Netflix instead. Why can’t things work out? And then you just start feeling bad for yourself and then you start comparing yourself.
And it basically comes from feeling like you’re a victim of your circumstances and that something is basically gone wrong. It’s so easy to kind of fall in to self pity. But when you do do this, when you indulge in self pity, you end up quitting or slowing down because you’re feeling sorry for yourself. And then you don’t get the results that you want, which proves you should feel sorry for yourself. So, and self pity feels pretty bad, right? And the same goes for beating yourself up, right?
It’s basically thinking like you’re not good enough or your never going to make money online or you’re so overweight. How could you ever lose weight? Stuff like that. So those types of emotions feel bad, right? And you’re not going to feel like it, but that’s not productive. You really want to snap yourself out of that and make sure that you notice the thought that’s causing it. And notice that you are not taking emotional responsibility for yourself. And instead the discomfort that I want you to feel is when you take action forward.
So it’s like, Oh, I really want to eat the cake after dinner or the cookie or whatever, or the ice cream, but I’m not going to because I am on a specific eating plan and cake or the cookie is not part of it. And that means I’m going to have to sit here with this urge and I’m not going to do anything and I’m just going to feel the urge.
That type of discomfort is going to move you forward to accomplish your goal of losing the weight, total different type of discomfort. Then if you feel sorry for yourself, say you’re never going to lose weight anyways and have some wine on the couch.
It’s very subtle, but it’s everything. Okay? I want you to feel the discomfort of getting up early and creating a structure to schedule for you to build your business because you want a six or seven figure business. That type of discomfort is good. That is normal. That is what it takes, right? That’s why I’m sitting where I’m sitting right now. Okay? And I’m going to have to feel so uncomfortable to get to seven figures. Like I’m already feeling it. It’s chaos scaling and delegating and having other people do things for me. I’m like, Whoa. It is a new level of discomfort, right?
But at every level, if you want to continue to evolve and create your future from your future, you are going to have to feel uncomfortable. Nothing has gone wrong just make sure it’s that type of discomfort and feeling bad and not the type where you’re beating yourself up or you’re feeling sorry for yourself. Totally different.
So I always, um always, I try to notice the difference, right? So did I wake up and feel sorry for myself because I had a bajillion things to do or, um, did I feel uncomfortable because I am creating new types of content and webinars and I’m starting to think about how to delegate, right? I might feel uncomfortable either way. One moves me forward and one doesn’t. If you’re not sure, a indicator would be to look at your results. So if you are, um, changing course, slowing down or anything kind of looks like you’re taking a break or hiding, that is going to be like counterproductive.
If it is taking action and moving you forward, but it feels uncomfortable, then that is going to be, um, the type of discomfort that you want to take to get new results in your life. So remember what I said in the beginning. It’s like the contrast that makes up the world the good and the bad, right? We don’t have good if we don’t have bad, right?
That’s the way the world was created. It’s always going to be that way. And I want you to remember that there’s no place where you arrive in the future where there’s no discomfort. So there’s no place where you arrive, where you’re problem free. I love this. Problems are forever and it kind of gives you permission to just go all in right now because whenever problems you have now, you’re going to have different problems when you get on the other side of that goal.
I hear this a lot from people who are married. It’s like when you were single, you had single people problems and you thought being married would solve your single person problems. But what really happened is you just traded in your single person problems for married people problems. Right?
So it’s that kind of analogy where, and it applies to everything. So you know, you might work at a full time job and have problems and you think that being a business owner will solve them. Well there they might solve your employee problems, but they’re not going to solve the problems that you have as a business owner. And so whatever it is that you’re pursuing, I want you to know that you’re going to have discomfort and you’re not going to feel like it along the way. And that’s totally okay. Nothing’s gone wrong and nothing has meaning until you’re given meetings.
So you can decide what kind of meaning you give something. So keep in mind that if anything is hard for you right now, it’s okay. Of course it’s hard. So what? Building a business is hard. Don’t wish that it was easier. Wish that you were stronger because you can do hard things.
Why can’t you do something even when you don’t feel like it? I want to encourage you that you can, you can feel discomfort and do it anyways. And I know that you’re strong enough because I talk to you all the time. I know what you’re going through and I just want you to know that if you don’t feel like it, it’s okay and that you should just do it anyways because your future self will thank you. These are the choices that you get to make. These are the attitudes that you get to choose whether you want to have.
So if you find yourself in a place where you just don’t feel like it in the future, I want you to do the following little exercise. It might really help write down exactly what happened. Then just kind of write for 10 minutes. Just do like a brain dump where you write, write, write. Don’t even pick up your pen. Don’t kind of judge yourself. Just write.
And then I want you to stop writing after like 10 minutes and look at everything you wrote down. And I want you to separate out the facts from the thoughts about the facts. So my sister called me and we got in a fight and she doesn’t respect me. Okay? Those three sentences, the fact is that your sister called you, that’s it, right? The fact that you’ve gotten to a fight, debatable, right? What’s a fight? The fact that she doesn’t respect you, definitely just your opinion, right?
So it’s your thoughts that are going to cause any sort of discomfort you’re having from that conversation. So whatever is making you feel uncomfortable, write down all the facts, write down all your thoughts, and then separate out the facts and the thoughts. And notice that your thoughts are what’s causing you to feel however you’re feeling and all of your thoughts are choices.
And I want you to ask yourself why you’re choosing to think those thoughts. Are they supportive? Are they helpful? What you will realize is what makes things difficult is the way that you think about it. What makes it something you don’t feel like doing is the way you’re thinking about it. And you can continue to think about it that way, or you can just completely change your thinking. So you do feel like it or you don’t have to feel like it, but do it anyways.
These are all options that I want you to consider. I remember when I used to get up at 4:00 AM before work and the thought of up at 4:00 AM now, I literally am like, that’s impossible. And this is, I was just doing this a few months ago, right? Like, I’m like, no way would I ever get up at 4:00 AM right.
Of course I would if I had to. Of course, that’s the choice that I made then. Do I want to get up at 4:00 AM tomorrow? No. That’s because I have this thought that I will be sleep deprived and it won’t be worth it and all these other things. Right. But those thoughts are choices. I didn’t have those thoughts when I was getting up at 4:00 AM, you know, last year. Instead I was thinking, all right, I better make sure I go to bed early because I have to get two hours of uh, blogging done before I go into the office.
And yes, this is hustle mode and hustle season, but like I didn’t have all this chatter about whether to do it or not. Like sometimes I hit the snooze button, now I’m not even a snooze person, but just because I can Right? So it’s, it’s all relative and it’s all based on your thoughts.
So if you don’t feel like it, ask yourself why and decide if you want to continue thinking that way that’s causing you not to feel like it. And remember, if you don’t feel like it because you’re pursuing your goals and you’re taking action and you’re making the tough choice to experience negative emotion instead of indulging in something that would set you back, you know, it’s not eating the cake and feeling that urge.
Remember that nothing’s gone wrong and it’s just a feeling and it’s going to help you move you forward. So hard is not a bad thing. Hard is a good thing. If you stay focused on your goal and the vision of where you want to go, this will become easier. That’s like what I’ve been able to do so that I don’t make feeling like I don’t want to do something. Reason not to do it. I love my coach and mentor who says, discomfort is the currency to your dreams, so take that with you this week and do hard things.
Thank you for listening to the Design Your Dream Life podcast. Subscribe to the podcast to get the latest episodes sent directly to you. To learn more about designing your dream life visit NatalieBacon.com.