I’m curious… do you think you’re indecisive?
If so, you may not even realize how this negatively is impacting your life.
From under-earning, to weight gain, to staying in a job that’s not right, to starting a family… indecisiveness is a way to procrastinate your dreams forever.
What To Do When You’re Indecisive
Sooo the start of this posts sounds a little bleak, right?
The truth is it’s not an exaggeration.
BUT what’s also true (and great news) is that you’re totally normal if you identify as being indecisive. And even better news: you can change this.
In order to be able to combat indecision you need to understand what causes indecision and specific tips to be more decisive.
- Procrastination (podcast)
- How Value Affects Decision Making (blog post)
- How To Live An Intentional Life (free course)
Understand Why You Are Indecisive
First things first: the reason you’re indecisive at all.
You’re indecisive because of your primitive brain that doesn’t want to make a wrong decision. It wants to secure your survival so it’s very careful to make sure that you consider the options and preferably make a very low risk choice.
Your brain always thinks that stalling, waiting, and not deciding is safer. If you do something you’ve never done before, your brain freaks out. It thinks you’re going to die because you have no evidence to pull from your past.
Knowing this is your saving grace. You can talk back to your brain. You don’t have to listen to it.
To get started with this step, analyze a previous decision you had trouble making. Evaluate analyses that impact your choices.
Look at what triggered you. What were you thinking? What were you feeling? This will help you increase your awareness so you can see the results of your indecision.
Basically, you conduct and evaluate analyses where you examine your prior decision making to see where you’re held up. Where your brain freaks out. And you decide ahead of time what you’ll do in the future. This decision making in advance will help you make faster, better decisions.
How To Not Be Indecisive
Whether you’re deciding what to eat for breakfast, or you’re deciding whether to have kids, the process through which you make decision is the same.
This is because your brain is what you use to make decisions.
So, if you haven’t taken a look at how you make decisions, you may continue to struggle with decision making and not know why.
Decision making is something I have to do all the time in running my online businss. I have to make decisions quickly, and trust my gut and business instinct. I can always go back and adjust, but I have gotten into the habit of making decisions quickly.
The process below will help you make huge improvements with your decision making skills, so while they’re simple, they really work.
- Resourse: The Ultimate Guide To Decision Making (blog post)
1. Establish A Deadline
Establishing a deadline can help you overcome being decisive because we naturally perform under pressure.
Think back to school when you had a deadline to finish a paper. You got it done no matter what.
If you practice your skill of self accountability (more on that here) and know you always do what you say you’re going to do, then you, too, can set your own deadline and follow through.
The result is that you have some drama about the deadline, and that’s a good thing.
You become aware of all the thoughts and feelings you have about your goal.
With deadlines, you’re pushed to make a choice and really get out of being stuck.
This is a beautiful thing. Deadlines are amazing.
Your deadline doesn’t have to be tomorrow. But it shouldn’t be in several months either. When I think about my goals, I factor that into my deadlines. I made the decision in November to get a second puppy next May, knowing that wedding planning is going to take up a lot of my mental space in April, and I don’t want to add more decisions to my plate.
Make a speedy, realistic deadline. If it’s a really big decision, maybe a couple of weeks—tops.
While you’re “making your decision” gather input that’s useful, but don’t assume that you need more than you have available. You can overdo it with too much researching, too. This ends up being a protective mechanism.
Decision making shouldn’t extend for months. That’s not decision making. That’s stalling.
- How To Think And Read Faster (blog post)
- Time Management Skills (podcast)
- Scarcity Vs. Abundance Mindset (free course)
2. Ask Yourself, “What If Both Turned Out Amazing?“
Another tool that will help you not be decisive is asking yourself “what if both options turned out amazing?”
This will be confusing at first because your brain wants to know the “right” decision and make sure you don’t make the “wrong” decision.
Remember: you’re the decider of what is right. It’s right if you say it is.
The same is true about an amazing life. No matter what you choose, you can decide your life is amazing. Say you’re flipping a coin. No matter what side lands up—it’s going to work out perfectly.
If your life ends up amazing and better than you can even imagine with Option A and with Option B, which do you choose?
Usually your answer is very clear when you do this.
It’s all the thoughts and feelings that come with taking action after making the decision that you’re worried about.
That’s where life coaching comes in. Learning how to feel your feelings and take action in integrity with your desires. That is no easy task, my friend. Not for the weak!
Do this with your big decisions and your small decisions. It’s a life coaching tool that works like magic.
- Resource: How To Choose Between Two Passions (blog post)
3. Get Advice From Your Future Self, 10 Years From Now
Imagine you’re in an indecisive moment.
You have a decision to make.
One of the best tools I can offer you is to ask yourself what your future self, 10 years from now, would hope you’d do.
For example, if there’s a real deadline for enrolling in Grow You by the end of the month to get that month’s topic, ask yourself, “what would my future self, 10 years from now, hope that I’d do today?”
Your future self is so wise. It has the best advice.
You’ll make decisions from your future if you do this.
The result is that you create your future intentionally instead of repeating your past.
- Future Self Letter (podcast)
- How To Stop Repeating Your Past And Design Your Dream Future From Your Future (blog post)
- Time Management Tools (free course)
4. Stop Identifying As An Indecisive Person
Whatever comes after “I am” becomes your destiny.
Pretty sure I read that on a quote somewhere.
But all cliches aside, it’s the truth.
If you think you’re an “indecisive person” that’s what you’ll create more of.
Indecisiveness isn’t your identity.
It’s a habit you’re in.
I’ve talked about this regarding procrastination as well. (You can listen to that podcast episode here: Procrastination.)
So, instead of saying, “I’m an indecisive person,” say, “I’m in the habit of being indecisive with my decisions.”
This small shift takes it from your identity to your actions. Your actions aren’t you. This is power because it shows you that you can change your actions and change your results.
You may be in the habit of being indecisive, but you don’t have to continue being in that habit if you don’t want to.
You can change.
If you’re looking for more on this, check out Grow You, my life coaching program.
A Final Note!
Being someone who makes quick decisions is an important (errr critical) tool for your success.
Successful people make decisions quickly and change them slowly.
Being decisive includes the ability to actually do this.
Regardless of your current decision making process, you can change.
You can use the tools above and get better at making faster decisions and having your own back.
The things that used to impact my decisions would never impact them now, and it’s all from doing this work and training my brain to think differently (and better).