One of the biggest misconceptions about losing weight is that there’s a magic “how” to do it.
The truth is you need to change your relationship with food and with your body before you have any real chance and losing weight and keeping it off for good.
In this episode, I share my journey of losing 25 pounds and exactly what you can start doing today to make the same shift.
Here are some of my favorite resources to go along with this episode:
- How To Stop Emotionally Eating (blog post)
- Body Love (podcast)
- How To Love Your Body ( And The Mistakes Most People Make) (blog post)
- Better Posture (podcast)
- Emotional Eating (podcast)
- Overcoming Self Doubt Free Course (free training)
- Grow You (coaching)
Full Weight Loss (And How I Lost 25lbs) Episode Transcript
Welcome to the Design Your Dream Life podcast where it’s all about designing your life on your terms and now your host, Natalie Bacon.
What’s happening. Welcome to the podcast. I just want to say thank you to all of you who left a review the other week when I asked for them, I oh so appreciate it. And you guys are sharing the podcast and I’m just feeling extra grateful. So I really appreciate that.
It means a lot to me, and it’s helping to get this work out into the world so that more people can change their lives, which is what this podcast is all about from a place of love, of course, which is what we’re going to talk about today. But before we get into it, I’m trying to think of any updates I have for you. The biggest update is that The Creator Program is going to be opening very, very soon. I am so excited to offer this to you. It’s my signature program related to business. So I will have Grow You and The Creator Program.
And that’s it. I am going to start accepting people at a very slow rate so that we really get the best people for the program and make sure that the program is running smoothly. I did this with Grow You when I opened it as well, start small and really limit access so that we can all work together and make sure it’s the best program for you guys.
So if you want more information, go to Nataliebacon.com/interest list. That’s all just one word. And you can find out how to apply when it opens up. It’s really going to be for corporate women. I know I’ve talked about it a little bit already, but I just want to remind you that it is for those of you who want to continue to work from home. You’re loving it. I hear you. People are loving the at-home experience and this way you get to do that and you don’t just get to do it for someone else.
You get to do it for yourself. You get to create your own online business. I show you exactly how to do that. And there’s coaching and a whole bunch of other stuff in there, which I am really, really excited to offer to you. What else? That’s it it’s fall. I cannot believe it is the middle of October. It’s going fast. It’s hard to believe that Steve and I will be getting married in six months. It’s wild to think about. So fun.
I have had such a fun time. I recently had my family in town. We went wedding dress shopping. It was just a girls weekend. That was amazing. And there’s lots more fun things to, with wedding planning. I’m going to have a beautiful, luxurious micro wedding with family only. We’re just so, so excited for it. It’s going to be destination. I’m just thrilled, right?
It’s like coming up with that vision for the wedding, given the circumstances and kind of recreating that from the ground up was a mental exercise. I use all the tools that I teach you here. So that’s what’s going on in my life. I hope you’re having a really good fall and the let’s get into it.
I want to talk with you today about weight loss and specifically about how I lost 25 pounds. So if you’re in Grow, You, you already know this. If you’re not in Grow You, I want to tell you that there is a bonus course in Grow You.
It’s called How To Change Your Eating Habits Forever. And students love it. I mean, they join and they watch this bonus course and you get access to it right away. As soon as you join the in the bonus vault, and this course teaches you exactly how to lose weight and not only that, but just how to eat better, how to take care of your body.
And it does it in a way where I teach you about the brain and over hunger and over desire. And the result is that so many students are losing weight and they’re telling me, they’re emailing me and saying, I just joined. And I lost 10 pounds. I lost 16 pounds. I’ve already lost 25 pounds this year, just going through that course alone. And that’s not even considering all of the other things that they have access to in there.
So typically what happens is they’ll take that bonus course. And then they’ll come to ask a coach and come to the live coaching calls and get coached on how their weight loss is going. So if you’re not in there, get in there and take that bonus course right away. Especially if you are someone who wants to lose weight.
Today, I want to talk with you a little bit about why you would want to lose weight about not letting your past stop you about your thoughts and how they’re creating those feelings that are either going to drive you to take action and lose weight or not lose weight. I’m going to tell you about my actual story of losing the 25 pounds and then exactly what you need to do to lose weight.
So let’s start off with why you would even want to lose weight right now. Most people don’t ask this question. They just except the truth that they want to lose weight. They just decide. And they don’t really know why. And if I ask them why it will sound something like, I don’t like my body, I don’t like this around my waist or my legs, or, you know, I want a flatter stomach or, um, I’m just too heavy.
It sounds like something is wrong with their body. And so they want to change it and they want to change it from lack. Basically, the idea is this is bad. And if I change, it will be good, right? That’s like the general why. So the problem with this, why is that it’s not true. And if you change from this place of thinking that something’s wrong with you or wrong with your body, that’s changing from lack. And it’s going to create more lack. So where you start from is where you end.
So if you think that something is wrong with your body now, even when you lose weight, you will still find other things that you think are wrong with your body. And you’re going to feel terrible the whole time doing it. So you don’t want to change from lack and the way that you can kind of shift your mindset into one of abundance is seeing that over there, isn’t going to be better in the sense that you’re just happy all the time.
So we kind of have this sense when we want to lose weight and that if I just lost the weight, I would be happy. And we might not even say it in that way, but that’s sort of how we’re thinking. We’re like this one problem just will not go away. I just can’t lose the weight. It’s just such a problem in my life.
And it’s almost all consuming. And we really are thinking if I could just fix this, if I could just change, then over there, after the weight loss, everything is better. My life is better. My problems go away. But the truth is when you lose weight from this place, your brain hasn’t changed. And so if it was looking for what’s wrong about you, when you’re at your heaviest, it’s going to still be looking for what’s wrong about you at your thinnest.
So if you’ve ever lost weight at all, you might be able to relate to this. It’s losing the weight and then saying, okay, well now I have this extra skin. And so I actually just need to tone up and that’s the next thing. And so there’s always one more thing that’s wrong with you that you’re trying to fix. And it never ends like, think about this.
We do this with our careers. We think, Oh, well, if I just finished high school, if I just finished college, if I just get my first job, if I just pay off my student loans, if I just get the next promotion, if I just could pay for daycare, if I just, and we’re postponing our happiness and we’re postponing enjoying our lives, because we think that over there, after we solve this one problem, it’s going to be better.
And it’s just not true because it’s never your circumstances, creating your emotions, it’s always your thoughts. And so when I first teach this, people will often say, okay, well then why lose weight at all? If I can just be happy with the weight that I’m at and I can love my body and I can learn how to do that, you know, why would I ever lose weight?
And if you haven’t listened to the Body Love episode, I highly recommend going back and listening to that. Cause I really go into that there, but it might be better explained if I give you the analogy of debt. It’s kind of like what I teach with money. So with your student loan debt, I want you to like your debt and like having your debt and not make it mean anything about you and decide, yeah, I want to get out of debt just because I want to.
And my debt means nothing about me and I can love it and I can appreciate it. And it sounds so contrary to what we’re taught, because that’s the opposite of what we’re taught. We’re taught that debt is bad and to hate our debt. And I’m telling you, it feels so bad. And then what happens is you make it mean something about you.
I know this because I personally went through this and we do the exact same thing with weight. We think that being overweight, whatever that definition is for us is bad. And that the way our body looks is bad and that therefore we are bad. And then we don’t love ourselves. And we don’t like ourselves and we want to change it. And we’re so mean to ourselves. And what I want to teach you to do is to love yourself and then lose the weight just because you want to.
And that’s really why, right? So why did I want to get out of student loan debt if I actually liked and appreciated my debt, right? Just because I wanted to, and I’m telling you, it feels so much better. And it’s funny, right? I talked to you guys about this before people will say, well, didn’t you feel so much peace when you got out of debt.
And I said, not really. I felt so much peace all along the way, because I got my mind right? And that’s why I could make such great decisions with money and look inwardly, and I would make the decisions. So I want you to love yourself and love your body and lose weight just because you want to. I was on Facebook. This had to be months ago by now. I forgot what I was scrolling and looking for.
I love to do a lot of market research in Facebook groups. And I saw someone write this sentence about how much she hated her body and how much she wanted to change it and how sick of her body she was and how losing weight was taking forever and how she had just had it. And she had no awareness that those were thoughts. She thought that that was just a bunch of facts that it was taking forever and that she is sick of her body and that there was nothing she could do about it, that something had gone wrong and she wanted to change from that place.
And I’m sure she felt horrible because anyone repeating those thoughts would really feel horrible. And so you end up trying to change without changing your thoughts and feelings, and you end up just recreating that. And that is not what I want you to do with weight loss. I want you to love your body, right? I talk about this in the Getting Ready Every Day episode as well, especially right now, this is kind of an aside with more and more people working from home during kind of our quarantine.
And, um, COVID most people aren’t getting ready and getting dressed and putting on makeup and putting on good shoes and good clothes. And they’re not taking care of their bodies. And it’s such a mistake in such a tragedy, right? We want to take care of our bodies and have a good relationship with ourselves. For ourselves.
I heard one of my life coaches say that she puts on perfume before bed. I was like, what? This is amazing just for herself, right? So are you wearing perfume for yourself? Right? I put it on before my Grow You calls, even though obviously no one else can smell it. I do it for myself. I love that. I get ready every day.
When you’re thinking about losing weight and you’re thinking about your body and you’re thinking about your thoughts, what are those thoughts? Have you taken a look at those thoughts? So your thoughts about weight loss, about your body, about food. They matter so much. They matter more than anything else because they’re going to determine how you feel and how you feel determines whether you actually take the action to lose weight or not. Because we all know there are a bajillion different types of programs out there that give you different actions to take.
And a lot of them, most of them work if you do them, but most people don’t do them. Right? Knowing the information, isn’t the same thing as doing it, right? So you can read something. You can listen to something, but unless you change your thoughts about it, unless you change how you feel, you’re not going to change your actions.
And that’s why getting into a program like Grow You and having a coach, be able to show you your mind and show you that lack of awareness is what you need more than the next quick fix. Basically it’s harder work. It’s so much more transformational because what I find when people first join, Grow You and they’re starting their weight loss journey is they’re thinking thoughts. Like my life is just hard right now. And food helps me get through it. Or a lot of what I hear during COVID is, you know, I just need to eat.
This is hard. I deserve to eat. There’s like this entitlement to food and alcohol right now. A lot of it is even in like a joking way. And it’s so damaging to your own body or other thoughts that I’ll hear are losing weight is just hard. I don’t have time to focus on weight loss right now. I have so many other things going on, or I failed so many times before.
That’s a big one where people will blame their past for the reason why they can’t create their future. And this is normal. If you understand the brain, right, the brain always wants to repeat the past because it’s easy. Your brain says, Hey, I have a neural pathway for that. I don’t have to think too hard. Here’s what we know about the past. And that’s, what’s probably likely going to happen in the future.
So you have to have the knowledge and the understanding of your brain to see that, Oh, you can actually decide to create a new neuropathway and you can decide to think differently. And it’s like trying on that new outfit where at first you’re like, I don’t know if I could wear this out. I’m not sure, but the more you try it on the more comfortable you get in it.
And before you know it, that’s your new identity. Right now, whatever your story about your past is it likely feels like the truth or else you wouldn’t be telling it, but it is just a story. So it’s that difference between your thoughts, which is the story and the facts. The facts are just, you know, you get on the scale and that number. That’s a fact, everything that comes up for you, the emotion that you feel, right?
It’s like checking your bank account, all that emotion, same thing with getting on the scale, all that emotion that comes up, those are coming from your thoughts. And the best news I have for you is that you don’t have to keep telling the story that you’ve been telling. You can change that story. And that’s how you will change your future.
But again, it comes from having the awareness that you’re even telling a story and not just reporting the facts. So when you change your story, then you will change how you feel. I talk about this in the Goal Fuel episode, I would listen to that as well, that the emotion driving you to achieve your goals, that emotion is what’s going to determine whether you’re successful. So I coach a lot of women on relationships, on weight loss, on money, on career, on business. And some people create the lives that they want pretty quickly.
And I don’t want to say effortlessly because that takes away from their work, but it’s with some ease and it’s with some enjoyment and it’s with some flow. Other people have a lot of defeat self-loathing and they start and stop. And the way that you know, whether you are one or the other is to look at your results, have your results changed in the last year, in the last two years in the last five years, or do you have the same results?
And that’s not a reason to beat yourself up. It’s just a place for you to start to look and see what’s going on. When you look at your health and you look at your weight loss journey, and you look at your thoughts and feelings, notice the feeling that is driving you to lose weight. I think back to that person who wrote in the Facebook group about how frustrated she was and how kind of mad she was at herself.
And she didn’t use those words, but she was just so defeated and had a lot of frustration irritation. And if those are the emotions driving you, you’re going to start and stop a lot because your brain wants to avoid negative emotion. It wants to avoid discomfort. And that’s a survival mechanism. It knows that if you seek pleasure, you’ll survive. Okay? But in modern society, you actually want to feel that emotional discomfort in order to create that future that you want. And your brain just doesn’t know that.
So if you don’t have access to these tools or you don’t have a life coach, then you won’t be able to know that. And so you will just naturally avoid those feelings. And then you create the result, the very thing that you don’t want. So this person who’s so frustrated and that’s taking forever and she’s mad about it.
She’s going to start and stop a lot because she’s creating an experience that is full of resistance instead of some other options, which are to be open and loving and have some fun. Now, this doesn’t mean that it’s always easy. Okay. But I have a lot of fun. When I create my business. I have a lot of fun when I try different things with food. Um, I have fun in my relationships and when things are hard, I take a look at them now, is it perfect? No.
And are some areas easier to do this? Yes, but you will have so much more success. If you don’t even see the failure as failure. If you have compassion for yourself and love yourself, and you want to do the goal and you want the result just for fun. If you think that over there is so much better, then you will be rushing and you will be urgent.
And you will miss the entire purpose, which is the journey and a becoming a transformation because that’s what really happens. There is no arrival where you’re just problem free and everything is perfect. And we know that, but we still live as if the opposite is true. We still think subconsciously. Yeah, but if I really just lost the weight, it would be better.
My life would be better. And in some ways, some things would be better, right? But in other ways, things wouldn’t be better. You just trade in your set of problems. You’re not living in a place where you’re all of a sudden full of positive emotion and that negative emotion is no longer there. It’s just not true. So take a look at the main emotion driving you in your goal.
Is that emotion, determination, courage, love, fun, inspiration, motivation, or is it something like frustration, irritation self-loathing, defeat, anger. And that’s kind of where your first work is with weight loss. You want a reason for losing weight. That is something that you like. I always say, you can do whatever you want. Just like your reason. Losing weight, because you don’t like your body is not a good reason losing weight, because you think that somehow you’re going to be more worthy or better if you lose the weight is not a good reason.
So if you get clarity on your reason, and then you decide on purpose, this is a goal that you want to do because you know, you’re going to transform your life. And because you want to create from a place of loving yourself, then do it from there, right? It’s like I got out of debt. I’m 100% debt free from a place of loving all of it from a place of loving my debt from a place of loving my past decisions.
Not from a place of thinking, I should have done it any other way. So with food, are you saying, Oh, I should have never, you know, ate all of those snacks while I was working 80 hours a week. I should’ve never, you know, drank so much in college. I should have never whatever, fill in the blank. And then you’re kind of arguing with reality and there’s just no upside to it because you can’t change the past.
I always like to say, it’s amazing that I got in that student loan debt, because it propelled me into this career. It’s like just rewriting that story of your past with, respect to your body and with respect to weight loss.
And personally I’ve lost 25 pounds. So in college I was 25 pounds heavier than I am now. And I lost about the first 15 over the span of a few years after college. And I’ve lost the last 10 pounds in the last year. And what really worked for me was creating a new identity of my relationship with food and relationship with my body.
So I can think back to a time where I used to treat my body pretty badly and kind of eat in a hurry and fill it with whatever I wanted in the moment, which was basically like answering my primitive brain, that toddler brain with all the sugar and snacks. So if you have kids just imagine, you know, your toddler getting to decide what she gets to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, right?
That is what happens when you just decide what to eat in the moment without planning from your prefrontal cortex, which is like your parent brain, which is saying, okay, let’s balance something sweet, which you could have for dessert with a really nutritious meal that the toddler might not even like, but we’re going to do it anyway. That’s the parent child relationship that you want to have with yourself, with your prefrontal and your primitive brain.
So your primitive brain might want the sugar and the wine, particularly during COVID. I know a lot of people really are feeling like they deserve to overeat and over drink. And you just want to be careful with that because you’re the one who will create that result for you. Meaning you’re the one who will deal with the consequences.
So for me, when I just slowed down and started to notice my thoughts about my body and my thoughts about food and what I really wanted to use food for and have food for, and think about my body and really got a little bit more philosophical with my relationship. It actually helped me live in a new identity. Um, most people don’t think about their relationship with food and their relationship with their body. And so they notice all the things wrong with their body and then they feel bad and then they eat more.
And so I started to think positively about my body and am I perfect with it? Absolutely not. But the more I create positive thoughts about my body and really it’s more about acceptance than anything. The more that I want to treat it better. So the more I want to eat better. And from that place, it feels really good to eat, right, to eat a huge salad for lunch, um, and to not put alcohol in my body and to just be really intentional with how I eat.
And that is how I lost weight and I’m sharing it because it’s a lot different than most people. Most people want to have this, how to step by step and think that it’s the actions that create the results. And while, you do need to take action. There is no one action. That’s going to create the result for you.
It’s always your thoughts and your beliefs. So if you change your beliefs with respect to food and you start to love your body, you actually want to treat it better and to put more nutritious foods into it. And you care about learning about food and you care about food in general, from a place of ease instead of a place of restriction and lack. And that’s the biggest difference. And I talk at length about this in the How To Change Your Eating Habits Forever. So I really want to encourage you to join, Grow You and take that course.
If you want to lose weight, it is really the best course out there for you to learn these tools and have the lasting change that you’re looking for. It’s really about the mindset and the lifestyle, not about a quick fix. And I think that with weight loss, just like with any other goal, you need to have a weight loss coach and you need a plan and you need a place to get support and get, you know, life coaching and learn how to love yourself and just be open and compassionate and have that positive emotion, driving your goals so that you’re not hating yourself and beating yourself up along the way.
So as I teach you more about weight loss and losing weight, I want to encourage you to go back and listen to the Body Love episode, the Getting Ready Every Day episode, the Emotional Eating episode, and the Better Posture episode, your physical health and how you think about your health and your body and the food that you put in it is so important. And it’s a key component to your life, which is why I teach it and talk about it here with you on the podcast and in Grow You. So I will leave you with that. I love you, and I will talk with you next week.
Hey, if you liked this podcast you really should check out, Grow You, my life coaching program. I coach you on everything I teach on the podcast so that you can uplevel your life. We 10x it so you get the results you want most. Just like a monthly gym membership to get your body in shape, this is a monthly personal development membership to get your mind in shape. It is an investment your future self will thank you for. Check it out at Nataliebacon.com/coaching. That’s Nataliebacon.com/coaching. I will see you there.