If I can teach you anything at all it would be to learn how to love yourself.
It’s that important.
The tricky thing is that you likely don’t realize when you’re not loving yourself. It can be so subtle.
That’s where this post comes in. I’m breaking down 17 amazing ways for you to love yourself.
The best part is that when you do this work, it can positively affect your overall wellbeing and lead to healthier relationships overall.
One final note before I dive into it. Self love is *not* selfish nor is it narcissistic. It’s not “I love me and I’m better than you.” It’s, “I love me, and therefore, I can love you, too.” Or, “I love you, and no.” Self love is deciding to love yourself so that you can love others and show up confident, feeling whole, instead of unworthy.
And with that, let’s get started.
- Related: Your Self Love Tank (podcast)
17 Ways To Love Yourself
Here are 17 ways to love yourself…
1. Get to know yourself
Spend some time getting to know yourself.
What do you like? What don’t you like?
It’s like dating, except you’re dating yourself. It’s one of the most effective ways to practice gratitude and self love.
This may require you to get outside your comfort zone. Totally worth it! Have fun with it.
- What Self Care Is Not (blog post)
- Self Identity (podcast)
- How To Stop Negative Self Talk (blog post)
- 7 Tools To Manage Anxiety (free course)
2. Give yourself Self Validation
Giving yourself validation stops the loop of needing other people to approve of you in order to feel good about yourself.
The next time you want validation from outside of you, give it to yourself instead.
For example, if you want to ask your husband if he likes your outfit to get a compliment, give yourself the compliment about your outfit instead.
You can also do this by writing yourself a love letter and doting over you (again, like you’re dating you).
When you give yourself the love you’re desperately looking for, you’ll feel better.
- Related: How To Show Up For Yourself (blog post)
3. Write down 100 things you love about yourself
Writing down 100 things you love about yourself is a way to deepen your relationship with yourself and show yourself the attention you deserve.
This is something I personally love doing so much.
Don’t over think it. The things you write can be really small, like I make a great espresso.
The key is to just do it. This will direct your brain to focus on all the amazing things about you and reinforce your relationship with you.
- Related: 75 Journal Prompts (freebie)
4. Treat your body like it’s your bff
When you treat your body like she’s your best friend, you deepen your relationship with her.
You wouldn’t tell your best friend that her thighs looked too big or her skin was a little wrinkled. You would dote on her, love her, and support her 100%.
This is what you can do with your body. You can become BFFs with her.
Notice how your body feels. Listen to her. Befriend her. Pay attention to her.
From this awareness, you’ll strengthen your connection with your mind body.
- 11 Ways To Practice Self Love (blog post)
- Body Neglect (podcast)
- How To Love Your Body (blog post)
- How To Live An Intentional Life (free course)
5. Make time for things that bring you joy
Carve out a little bit of time for things that spark joy.
They don’t have to be big or take up a lot of time, but they do need to easily bring you a little bit of pleasure.
As part of learning to love yourself, think about ways to feel really good throughout the day. When you’re working, it doesn’t have to be a grind. You can find moments of joy in simple things like listening to music, going for a walk, talking to a friend, having coffee, etc.
The important part is that you slow down and indulge a little bit in the joy that it brings you. Really allow yourself to feel that joy.
6. 10 minutes of silent meditation every day
Sitting in silence for 10 minutes every day is something that will help you calm down your Mental Chatter and improve your overall mental health, particularly if you’re a type-Aer (like me).
This will stop you from always being in the “producing” energy and help you settle into your own skin in the very best way.
- Related: Mental Chatter (podcast)
7. Have your own back
Having your own back is a skill you can get really good at.
Have you ever noticed how it’s easier to have other people’s back than your own? This is normal! But it doesn’t have to stay this way. Instead, you can practice having your back, just like you would your very best friend.
As you do this, you’ll realize how much easier it is to love yourself.
8. Get ready every day
Just like what you put in your body matters, so does what you put on your body.
Regardless if you’re a stay at home mom or if you’re a woman in Corporate America, the way you treat your body matters, and that includes getting ready every day.
This doesn’t mean you have to wear heels and makeup, but it does mean being intentional about dressing up just for you because you want to.
I’ve been getting dressed up every day for as long as I can remember. I dress for the woman I want to be. It’s made a huge difference in my life, and I can’t recommend it enough.
- Getting Ready Every Day (podcast)
- How To Create A Personal Growth Plan (blog post)
- Online Business (free course)
9. Coach yourself regularly
Coaching yourself regularly is one of the best ways to love yourself.
Through self coaching you’ll be able to identify your limiting beliefs, set big goals, and design your life intentionally.
Self coaching also helps you uncover your uncomfortable feelings, so that you can process those and move through them instead of avoiding them (hard work, but totally worth it)!
This is what my clients learn how to do in Grow You, in the Self Coaching Bonus Course (you can learn more about Grow You Coaching here).
10. Get a full night’s sleep
Getting a full night’s sleep is one of the most important ways for you to love yourself (for your mental health and physical health).
While many people recommend 6-9 hours of sleep, you know your body better than anyone. Do your best to get as close to the right amount of sleep as possible for you. It will make a huge difference in your life!
- Related: How To Create A Morning And Evening Routine (blog post)
11. Write a letter from your future self
Write a letter from your future self to you. This is what’s called a “Future Self Letter” and it can be very powerful.
Get advice from future you. What has she accomplished? What is her life like? And what advice does she have for you right now about your current challenges?
Your future self is so wise. Get to know her on purpose.
- Future Self Letter (podcast)
- How To Write A Future Self Letter (blog post)
- How To Live An Intentional Life (free course)
12. Feel appreciation for yourself
Practice feeling the emotion of appreciation on purpose. Feel it towards yourself.
This is a little bit like practicing gratitude towards you instead of towards something outside of you.
One of the most obvious signs of a lack of self love is not appreciating YOU. This typically shows up as apathy or a lack of self trust. When this happens, redirect your thoughts to something you appreciate about you.
Big or small. Show yourself some appreciation.
13. Surround yourself with people intentionally
Your inner circle matters. You end up adapting quite quickly to those around you. Because of this, I highly recommend surrounding yourself with people deliberately.
In Grow You, we have a community of women and moms from all over the world who come together and study personal development. This is a way you can be “around people” intentionally without having them be your next door neighbor.
Bottom line: the people you spend time with (physically or virtually) matters. Choose wisely.
- Related: How To Live An Intentional Life (blog post)
14. Brag about yourself
Bragging on yourself is one of the best ways to love yourself.
It doesn’t mean you think you’re better than others. It just means you think you’re amazing.
“I’m amazing AND you’re amazing.” It’s an amazing party.
So often we think bragging is conceded or arrogant, but the only way that’s true is if it’s driven by insecurity. If it’s motivated by true self confidence, then bragging is an action that’s truly going to deepen your self love.
If it’s been impossible to focus on the good, try this. It really works!
- Related: Self Confidence (podcast)
15. Schedule self care FIRST
Instead of scheduling self care last, I suggest scheduling it first.
Otherwise, there’s never enough time.
But instead, if you prioritize it, there’s plenty of time.
This doesn’t mean you have to spend all day in the bathtub. It just means you prioritize YOU.
I love practicing self love in this way, specifically by finding new and fun ways to love on myself, and then scheduling them in advance on my calendar.
- Related: The Self Care Myth (podcast)
16. Eat less sugar and drink more water
Consider limiting your sugar intake and adding in more water.
This is going to help you not only feel better physically, but it also makes it easier to love your body when you’re putting in better food and drinks.
When you eat a lot of sugar, it’s impossible to love yourself in the moment. You’re in your head, getting the sugar rush or dopamine hit, and you can’t really love your body.
This doesn’t mean you should cut it all out completely, but just reconsider how much sugar is really helping your body live its best life, and decrease based on your decision.
17. Get a coach to kindly show you your mind
If you want to really love yourself, you’ll invest in a great coach.
A great coach will help show you your mind. She’ll have your back. She’ll love you, and help you get out of your own way.
It’s truly an honor and a privilege to coach the women in Grow You, and I invite you to check it out and join us!
- Related: Why Everyone Needs A Life Coach (podcast)
A Final Note!
The art of loving yourself is a life long practice that you can get really good at.
The best part is that as you do this work, you get better and better at it, which leads to a wonderful feel good relationship with yourself that’s based on self trust, self respect, and self confidence.