I truly believe you can create a life more amazing than whatever it is you’re imagining is realistic for you.
But it’s not enough for me to believe it. You have to believe it, too.
In this episode, I explain what scarcity is and how it’s getting in your way without you even realizing it.
Then, I show you how to create more abundance in your life, so you can design your dream life.
This is a must listen for the dreamers and the skeptics alike.
Here are more of my favorite resources to go along with this podcast:
- Scarcity Vs. Abundance (blog post)
- 13 Mindset Hacks That Helped Me Shift From Scarcity To Abundance (blog post)
- Mindset Hacks (podcast)
- Time Scarcity (blog post)
- Dream Year: How To Accomplish Your #1 Goal This Year And Feel Good Doing It (book + workbook)
- Personal Development Master Class (free training)
- Grow You (coaching)
Full Episode Transcript
Welcome to the Design Your Dream Life podcast where it’s all about designing your life on your terms and now your host, Natalie Bacon.
Hey friend, welcome back to the podcast and if you are new, welcome to your first podcast episode. I seriously am just beyond thrilled to be talking with you today. I have some really exciting things to share with you and my life is just exploding with all of the goodness and the fruits that I have been kind of laboring for for a while. Steve and I are moving in together into this beautiful apartment, this corner unit with floor to ceiling windows and I am finally going to have my own office, which you will see the background of in my upcoming YouTube videos. And if you’re in Grow You, you will get to see more of it as well. Kind of the behind the scenes stuff that I’ll be sharing in there. The live event coming up next month is sold out. That’ll be the first one. And just so you know, I plan to do a lot more live events in the future as kind of the third leg of my business. Grow you is growing. There are so many members in there, hundreds of them, and we are changing our lives together. I’m growing and the more that I grow, the more I see my students and clients grow. Penny is doing well. If you follow along on Instagram, you get to see more of the personal side of my life. Having a puppy has made my life so much richer. There’s been a lot more ups and downs. The ups are, you know, higher and the downs are kind of harder as anyone who has ever had a puppy knows.
So I’m sharing this all with you because I just kind of imposing and feeling really proud of myself, which is something that I hope that you spend some time doing because it feels so good to feel proud of ourselves. I think we kind of push off and push away feeling proud because we don’t want to feel arrogant or we don’t want to kind of “jinx it” and really if we remind ourselves that there are going to be more problems in the future and that the negative emotion is for sure going to come, I think it’s useful because then we can give ourselves permission to feel really good now. It’s like why not feel really good now about everything amazing going on in our lives because for sure there are going to be obstacles and setbacks and we can feel negative emotion when we want without, you know, kind of worrying ahead of time that that’s coming. And this kind of ties into today’s episode with scarcity and abundance.
Now a lot of people talk about scarcity and abundance and you hear a lot of people on line talking about attracting more abundance and some of the content is pretty good. A lot of it is not that good. So I want to give you some really practical information in this episode that you can start applying to your life so that you can have more abundance in your life. And really this kind of intro that I just gave you about all of the amazing things going on in my life are coming from a place of abundance. They’re coming from a place of having enough.
It wasn’t that long ago that I think about, you know what I thought my life would look like as an attorney, thinking about working at a law firm for 30 years, thinking about my student loan debt and none of it was terrible. Like I wasn’t thinking that my life was ruined and over. It wasn’t like a rock bottom. It was just sort of this frustration and low grade disappointment and not really having passion for what I was doing. And when I started to do this work in my own life, I started seeing results immediately and then that just compounded over the years.
My one-to-one coach recently told me that I manage my mind in the top 1% of people in our school where I got certified and she said that and I said, you know, this stuff works right? And she kind of laughed. And I am telling you that because I want you to know that I’m applying this work to my life and I’m seeing the results. And I want that to be an example for you to know that the results you’ve created in your life now and how you feel now doesn’t have to be how it is in the future, right? Five years is a very small amount of time. If you think of the amount of years of your life, right? I like to think of kind of zero to 100 and then five little ticks. It’s very small, and just looking back for me in the last five years, how much abundance I’ve created and how I want to help you create that for yourself and your life.
So let’s dive into what I’m even talking about with scarcity and abundance. And I want to talk about the definitions first. So I like to think of both scarcity and abundance as thoughts and feelings. They’re kind of like catch all phrases. So you might say, I think that there is not enough and that’s a thought. Or you might say I’m feeling scarcity or I’m feeling fear or worry or bitter or lacking. And that kind of all goes under the umbrella of scarcity.
So scarcity means that you think that there isn’t enough for you, right? There’s not enough love out there for you to have the love that you want. There is not enough money for you to have the amount of money that you want. There is not enough time for you to get done what you want to get done. Whatever it is, it can even be with respect to your body or your life in general. You are not enough. And then when you think thoughts like that that are based in scarcity, you will feel negative emotion that will feel rushed or worried or fearful or lacking in some way. Sometimes it manifests as like a self-loathing as well.
Abundance is the opposite. So you believe that there is so much for you. And for other people. For everyone, there’s more than enough and the emotions related to abundance would be love, contentment, joy, possibility, appreciation, excitement mean. It’s the positive emotion that comes from thinking. There’s so much for you to have. It’s not from a place of greed, it’s from a place of love, right? Greed comes from lack and from scarcity. Abundance comes from love and having from a place of loving what is.
So let me talk about examples, if that kind of sounds a little too conceptual or woo for you. Think about money, like what are your thoughts with respect to money? If you are in scarcity with money, it sounds like I’m worried I don’t have enough. I don’t make enough money. And it also sounds like separation with respect to other people who have more money. So when I hear about someone who’s making millions of dollars or there’s a new billionaire or something like that, I get so excited. I want to know everything about them. I want to know their story. I love that they’re making money. I’m interested. I love it. Like, I love it for me, I love it for them. I feel very connected to them. I love learning about money. I’m very abundant with my money. I want to know that story.
Contrast that with someone who’s in scarcity with money. If they hear about someone who won the lottery, who got an inheritance, who just makes a lot of money for themselves, whatever the case may be, someone who’s in scarcity about money will create separation from that story. It’ll sound like, oh well it must be nice for them. Or oh yeah, they have so much money from their parents must be nice or yeah, they just really don’t understand what it’s like to not make a lot of money or they don’t appreciate people who make less. Like whatever their thoughts are, it’s based in separation and that comes from scarcity because what you’re telling the universe when you think thoughts like that is that you don’t believe that you can have that too. So I get really jazzed when I hear a story about a new millionaire or self-made multimillionaire or billionaire because I think it’s possible for me. I think there is more than enough. I get really excited to learn about other people’s money stories, their success stories. I just love it. I think it’s just fascinating and inspirational. I feel very connected. I don’t feel jealous, right? So that’s how I know I’m in abundance with money.
Now contrast this to how I used to think about love or having kids. Now, it wasn’t always this way, but probably in sometime in my mid twenties I started to create this story that I wasn’t going to find love and online dating was hard and I didn’t know if I would have kids and it wasn’t like I was saying this out loud and I wouldn’t have called a girlfriend and said all these things, but I was creating separation whenever I heard a quote unquote success story. So someone else that I knew would get engaged or they would be pregnant and I wouldn’t be excited and I wouldn’t necessarily want to know the story and I wouldn’t be feeling extra connected. Now, of course outwardly I would congratulate the person and I, there would be a part of me that would genuinely be a little bit happy for them, but then it was followed by this separation of oh no, kind of like a must be nice or I wish that was me. And really what I was doing was creating this story that I didn’t think that it could happen for me. And that’s scarcity.
So I’m telling you these examples because I think that scarcity can kind of be sneaky. Now when I give you the definition more than enough for abundance and not enough for scarcity, it seems so black and white. But I want you to think about what it is you want and I want you to think about if you want it from a place of having enough and a place of thinking that you can have more or if you think it’s kind of not possible for you at all.
So I see this a lot with love. I see it a lot with kind of weight loss. I see it a lot with money. I see it a lot with time. So when you think about your love life, do you really think it’s possible for you to get married and have kids? If that’s what you want. When you think about retirement? I was just talking with someone and he was telling me about how he was reading this article about how millennials will never be able to retire at a certain age because of all of their student loan debt and the economy and it was supported by all this information. And I was just noticing how useless that story was for this person, right? Because what was happening was this person didn’t believe that it was possible for him to create a lot of money and retire at whatever age he wanted to retire. And it’s such a concrete example of how your thoughts create your reality. And if you don’t have the awareness that you can think anything, you will default to thinking in scarcity because it’s a survival mechanism.
So your brain is wired for survival. And a long, long time ago when resources were much more scarce, we needed to worry about getting enough food, getting enough warmth, meeting a person and procreating, right? Your brain is wired for that because it wants to make sure we evolve as a species. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But if you are listening to this podcast, certainly if you live in a first world country, there is no reason to be thinking in terms of lack. But your default programming, your survival kind of lizard brain will default to looking for the shortage because it just wants to keep you alive. And if you’re aware of this, you can kind of build onto that default programming by adding on the new programming that you want to have. But it takes the awareness and intentionality to do it.
Most people won’t do it, but it’s 100% available to you. And I think this is why life coaching is so important. You can reprogram your brain towards abundance instead of defaulting to this scarcity thinking that you’ve been programmed to have. Right? So for me, if I wanted retire early, which I don’t, I love work and how I work, right? It’s just changing people’s lives and providing more value. Like I love it. But if I did want to retire, I would never spend my thoughts looking for evidence of how it was impossible for me to do it. Because remember, you can think anything you want. So be careful about the media that you allow in. Like I’m sure there’s so much evidence and so much research for whatever it is that you think isn’t available to you. But why believe that if it’s not what you want, why look for the data.
I see this a lot with online dating as well and and people who I coach who want to find love and it’s subtle. It’s like, oh well there are just no good guys left in my city. Or it’s, you know, I used to have friends who would send in group chats, kind of screenshots of the guys online dating profiles, followed up with a lot of conversation about how online dating is impossible in this city and there are no good guys left and all of this, right? It’s this scarcity and this lack of awareness that if you actually want to find love or you actually want to retire and you want more money or you want more time, whatever it is, you have to give up this story of lack and you actually have to believe that you can have whatever it is you want.
So what is good and what is bad is just a story. What is possible and what is impossible is just a story. So I decided to think that I would have enough and I would have more than enough and more than enough was available to me. So instead of looking at the women who kind of quote unquote had it all and thinking that that wasn’t available to me, I decided that I was someone who already had it all and I could have more. I love going back to my apartment example that maybe you’ve heard me talk about. I used to live in kind of a dingy apartment and when I first started learning this work, I learned that you create your reality, you create your results. So I had created this home from a place of thinking that that is what I deserved. And when I learned that you don’t have to deserve anything to have it, I stopped kind of living this frugal life that was inauthentic to me and I started allowing myself to like having the fancy things.
So now I live in this beautiful one bedroom apartment that I just adore. And from the place of having enough and loving this apartment, I have decided that I’m now going to have even more and live in another amazing apartment, now a two bedroom with my own office. So wanting from having enough is abundance, wanting from lack, is scarcity. So if I would be thinking thoughts like, oh, I hate this apartment, it’s so small, it’s a one bedroom. It’s not big enough for me and my business and I, I should be in an office already. Like that would be scarcity and notice it has nothing to do with the actual circumstances.
I see this a lot with money. I like to think of let’s say a bank account with $50,000 in it. You could show that bank account to a hundred different people and there would be a hundred different reactions, right? You show it to someone who’s unemployed, you show it to Mark Cuban, you show it to me and you show it to 97 other people who have varying life experiences and they’re going to have completely different thoughts and feelings about it, but the money in the bank is the same. It’s the same number. What this demonstrates is that it’s always your thoughts about the money that will create your experience of it. So if you think that that’s a great amount of money and you appreciate that money and you want more money from having enough, that will snowball into attracting more money for you. If you think that that money is so much money and that money is there to protect you and you can’t spend any of it because the abundance is in the money and you’re worried about losing the money, even though you’re saving the money, you’re doing it from a place of scarcity and you will create more scarcity, right? Even if you keep that money in the bank for a certain amount of time, right? Anything happens to that money? You’re kind of F’ed, right? Because you don’t know how to have money from abundance, right? The abundance is in the money, so you want to make sure that the abundance is in you so that regardless of what happens outside of you, you can create that experience again.
So I like to think of Bernie Madoff. If you don’t know, I used to be a Madoff attorney. I worked for a firm who was hired by SIPOC and we were in charge of recovering money and dispersing it out to the victims. And I like to think of the victims of the Madoff scandal. And you know, all of the victims, and I like to think of the varying reactions, and this is all hypothetical, right? I don’t actually know them, but I like to think that the ones who thought the abundance was in them were able to be more resilient and bounce back much quicker than those who thought the abundance was in the money.
Same circumstance of losing the money. But in one situation you have someone who understands that they created that money and they can create it again. And then in another situation you have someone thinking that the abundance is in the money and that you know their life is over and what are they going to do? And they’re never going to have enough again. Right? And that’s what you create more of. So remember that your thoughts will create your reality, not the other way around.
So I want you to think about your life and think about an area where you want a different result and think about if you’re wanting that new result from a place of loving what you already have, right? It’s like, I’m really excited to have a two bedroom apartment and have one of those bedrooms be my office, but I love my current apartment, right? I’m wanting from having enough. Are you wanting more money from a place of lack? Do you think you don’t have enough or do you love and appreciate the money that you already have and do you just want more just because you like having more? We are not really taught to want from having enough. We are taught to want from lack and wanting from lack creates more wanting from lack. Wanting from abundance creates more wanting from abundance. Pay attention to how you feel. If you are in a lot of self-loathing, if you are in a lot of negative emotion, that’s like disproportionate to your circumstances, that’s a sign that you might be thinking there’s more lack than abundance for you.
So ask yourself, how do you feel? Ask yourself, what am I thinking that’s causing me to feel this way and do this without judgment? I think a lot of people don’t do this work because it feels better to blame their external circumstances because they are in the habit of beating themselves up. And I just like to remind myself, oh, of course I think that there’s not enough time. I’m a human being, and let me just take a minute and pause and ask myself if that’s true. And then I say, what if I’m totally wrong? What if I have plenty of time? Usually I immediately laugh and remind myself that that is true and I feel so much better without any of my circumstances changing.
Another test is for you to ask yourself, what are your thoughts and feelings when someone else gets what you want? Are you happy and joyful or are you sad? And be really honest with yourself here without beating yourself up because right when you find out someone is pregnant outwardly, you’re likely to be pretty happy for them, but you know the truth. And if there is sort of this low grade disappointment or sadness, I want you to examine that and examine the thought that’s creating it and it’s likely something to the effect of, oh, she has what I want and I don’t think it’s possible for me to have that. And it’s really important that you bring awareness to it because if that’s your thought, that is what you will create in your reality. So if you actually want to have a baby or you want to get married or you want more money, I want you to look for opportunities to connect with people who already have that. Get around married people, get around people with babies, get around people with a lot of money. I look for opportunities to be around millionaires and multimillionaires and beyond. I am constantly trying to connect because I totally believe that it’s possible for me. So this is work that will really change your life because I don’t think people in general have the awareness that by creating separation you are kind of telling your reality that you don’t think you can have what it is you want.
So the first step to kind of becoming more abundant is to bring awareness to your thinking and feeling. And the next step is to look for ways to appreciate what you already have. Using the body example, I like to coach my clients on bringing some awareness to the fact that they generally are glad they have a body and they’re generally glad that they’re healthy, right? And if they can focus on that instead of what their body doesn’t have, the flat stomach or the legs or whatever else, right? If they just kind of pause those thoughts and focus on the thoughts that they appreciate about their body and then do the final step of practicing those thoughts, you will create new neural pathways and you will shift into more abundance. So you have to become aware of what you’re thinking and feeling. Then you have to transition to some neutral thoughts of, you know, finding that appreciation. And it might just be, I have a body I have enough money for today, right? And you practice those until those become the new thoughts and feelings so that you are shifting out of scarcity.
I truly believe that everyone can have it all. We can all have joy and happiness and luxury. There’s enough for all of us. And I’m curious, what do you think? Do you think that you can have what it is that you want and it’s okay if you don’t think that yet, right. It’s like some of us aren’t willing to go there and kind of notice that we don’t believe it’s possible for us. We would rather just stay in lack of awareness and connect with other people about our problems. I did this with dating for a while. It’s interesting for me to look back on that time and notice how it took so much longer for me to get the result that I wanted because I held onto the story that I couldn’t have what I wanted and I wouldn’t have told you that outright. I would have said, oh yeah, I’m dating. Oh, you know, it’s tough, but that’s how it goes. Or you know, just something kind of that low grade, you know? I don’t think it’s possible for me coming through and I hear it all the time. I hear it a lot with money and just know that it’s a choice to have those thoughts and that you don’t have to believe them. You can change how your thinking and you can feel better. And that is how you’ll attract more of what you want into your life from a place of believing that you already have so much.
So start to practice this. Become aware of what you’re thinking and feeling. Shift into appreciation of what you already have and then practice those new thoughts. And then even when kind of the 50/50 of life happens when problems arise, you will be amazed at how much more resilient you are having done this work. And instead of those problems reinforcing this story of how you can’t have it, you look for the possibility of how to solve the problem and know that it’s just kind of a stoplight on the road to your destination and not, you know, a U-turn sending you back in the other direction. I love you and I truly believe that you can have whatever it is you desire in your heart. Come work with me in Grow You and I will show you how to make your dream life come true. I love you. Have a great week.
Hey, if you liked this podcast you really should check out, Grow You, my life coaching program. I coach you on everything I teach on the podcast so that you can uplevel your life. We 10x it so you get the results you want most. Just like a monthly gym membership to get your body in shape, this is a monthly personal development membership to get your mind in shape. It is an investment your future self will thank you for. Check it out at Nataliebacon.com/coaching. That’s Nataliebacon.com/coaching. I will see you there.