Your brain is like a computer. When you ask it questions, it can’t help but come up with the answer.
Your brain will answer anything. If you ask negative questions, it will give you the answers. If you ask positive questions, it will give you the answers.
For example, if you ask your brain “why am I always so broke?” your brain will come up with the answers.
If you ask your brain “how can I make more money?” your brain will come up with the answer.
In this episode, I show you how to use questions to put your brain to work on getting you the results you want most in your life.
Here are more of my favorite resources for asking better questions:
- The Life Hack I Used To Get Into An $18k Coaching Program (blog post)
- Clarifying Questions For Goal Success (podcast)
- 7 Clarifying Questions For Goal Success (blog post)
- How To Answer Your Own Questions (blog post)
- Grow You (coaching)
Full Life Hack: Ask Your Mind Questions Episode Transcript
Welcome to the Design Your Dream Life podcast where it’s all about designing your life on your terms and now your host, Natalie Bacon.
Hello, how are you doing today? I’m really excited because I just found out that in a couple of weeks I am going to be certified as a life coach in order to get certified at The Life Coach School. I went to a six day in person training event. I had to pass two exams, I had to coach with a peer, another coach I had to get coached, I had to do a practicum which involved coaching live in front of other people and being reviewed by a master certified life coach among other things, and it’s been about three months since I started this. I’m super, super excited that I just found out that I will be passing and be a certified life coach in a couple of weeks.
The way that this all happened is actually kind of crazy and I used a tool to make it happen that I want to teach you about today and that tool is called questions. So let me just rewind and say that last year, um, and it was about October, 2017 I went through a breakup and at the time it seemed impossible.
So I dove head first interpersonal development and I committed to making it mean that it was going to be like the best thing that ever happened to me. So with that I found The Life Coach school podcast randomly. It was actually a link that Michael Hyatt had dropped in his private Facebook group. I started at number one and I think I went through over 200 episodes in a matter of weeks. When I go in on something, you guys, I go all in like that is the way to do it.
That’s how you get results. So this was no exception of course became obsessed with The Life Coach School and with the podcast and with Brooke Castillo who is the founder of the school. And it’s one of those things where you just like know that this is like your thing. There was no like dabbling. I was like, she’s my person, she’s my spirit animal. And that’s it. Like I have to learn from this woman.
And it’s not that I have like now wanting to become a life coach or something like that. It’s the way that she taught personal development was something that I was missing. So I have the financial experience and background. Now as a certified financial planner, I was a lawyer. I really wanted a framework for teaching personal development. I did not know or anticipate that would be through life coaching, but here we are.
So I found out that Brooke had a coaching program that she hosted for students to go through and become life coaches. And it’s not just an ordinary program. She actually works with you for a year to build your business and she’ll meet you where ever your business is and works with you. And it’s very much framed like you know, if you wanted to go to school for a year and start a business like this is your investments.
It’s kind of like a mini college. Like for becoming a life coach. You honestly get more than if you know you think of like a family therapist or something. You would pay a ton to go to college but you don’t even get the business setup. So here’s a woman who now makes gosh over $15 million in revenue a year and she is going to teach me how to scale my business and also to teach personal development.
I was like, this is it. Like I have to do this. You know, you just know when you really have to do something. I just like knew that like I had to do it so I didn’t know how because spoiler alert, her programs are very expensive. I found out it was $18,000 and I decided like I have to take this program, I’m going to take it, but also I’m not going to pay for it right now because I’m still paying my student loan debt off and I just felt like I couldn’t justify the decision financially until those are done. But like I had to get into this program. So long story short, I used a tool called questions to get into this program without paying for it. Okay, now let’s talk about what I actually did and how you can use this in your life, right?
Cause that’s the whole point of this story is so that you can use questions to get whatever it is that you want. It’s a tool that I teach in Design Your Dream Life Academy. That’s my personal development course at Designyourdreamlifeacademy.com. But it’s basically where you put your brain to work by asking your mind effective and supportive questions to get the answer you want. So remember that your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings create your actions and your actions create your results.
And then circumstances are completely neutral. When you know this, you’re going to want to pay attention to your mind and tell it what to think, right? Because if your thoughts basically lead to all the results in your life, you’re obviously going to want to think supportive thoughts. Well that seems like a great idea. However, if you have these deeply held subconscious beliefs, it’s a lot harder to just change them, right?
You might say, well, I really want to be a millionaire, but you like just don’t believe it’s possible. So that’s why affirmations really don’t work and they only work if you believe them, right? Your thoughts only cause the results in your life if you actually believe them because they have to create the right feeling, which creates the right action, which creates the right result.
So if you don’t believe the thoughts that you’re thinking and you’re just like repeating affirmations that won’t work, questions is a tool that you can use to find new thoughts that you actually believe without forcing yourself to try to believe something you don’t. So essentially this tool called questions, it gives you new thoughts that you will actually believe. So for example, let’s say that you want to build a six figure business, but you don’t really think it’s possible for you.
Instead of trying to force yourself to believe like something like, Oh, I can build a six figure business. Like, if you don’t believe that an alternative way for you to find a thought that you do believe would be for you to ask a question that supports the answer you want. So you would ask a question like, how can I build a six figure business? Or something like that where you frame the question to get you an answer.
That answer will be a thought and then you can use that new thought to get the results that you want in your life. I really can’t think of a more powerful and better tool to use every day of your life because it works so well. So it works like this. Your brain is like a computer. So when you ask it questions, it just cannot help but come up with the answer.
Your brain wants to answer everything. Your brain will focus on what you tell it to focus on. This is why setting goals is so important because it gives your brain something to focus on. But if you ask questions, regardless of the type of question, your brain is going to give you answers. So if you ask a negative questions, it’s gonna give you negative answers. If you ask positive questions, it’s gonna give you positive answers. Your brain is going to look for evidence to prove whatever result you’re seeking.
So for example, if you’re asking yourself why is money such a problem, your brain is going to literally look to find an answer for you, and it’s going to come up with an answer of why money is such a problem for you. But if you say, how can I create more money in my business? Your brain is also going to look for ways for you to create more money and answer that question.
So you have to create questions and come up with questions that support the result you want. You really want to make sure that you don’t ask negative questions like it’s just not useful. You want to make sure that you frame those questions super supportively that get you the result that you want, and these will give you the right thoughts. Instead of saying, I don’t know, and kind of like living in this place of confusion, I want you to ask yourself supportive questions because this is what will move you forward.
Living in that confusion that I don’t know, it just keeps you stuck. It just keeps you spinning and like wasting time. So if you’re not sure what kind of business you want to start, for example, but you know that you would like to make money online, you could ask yourself a question like, what would be the most fun business for me to start?
Or how could I monetize my blog? Or something like that. You just want to make sure that wherever you’re feeling like you don’t know the answer, you spin it into a question and then continue to ask that so your brain goes to work on it. The way that you do this though is that you choose one question to focus on until you get the answer that you want. If you’ve listened to the first episode on How To Set Goals, you know that it’s very, very important for you to focus on one thing at a time. One goal. One question.
We have way too much going on. We’re spread way too thin. So I want you to think about what you want most in your life. Like what result do you want at this time next year or just in life? What do you most? And then think of a great question to ask to put your brain to work, to come up with the answer.
You can write out this question. You can just repeat it. You know every time you get in the shower or whatever trigger you want, you can do it at night. I kinda like to do them at night because then I can put my brain to work on it while I’m sleeping. You can type it in Evernote, whatever you want. You just want to make sure that you’re asking yourself the question daily. The point is that you rehearse it.
You want to get your brain fixated on this question so that it will go to work to come up with the answer for you. Keeping it to one question at a time will help your brain focus so that you’re not spread out. Thinking about all these different things. So for example, what I did to get into this coaching program was I would say every night, how can I get into The Life Coach School coaching program without paying for it?
I did this every night before bed with such conviction that it was like in my head it was like already happening. I just needed my brain to like catch up to me and figure it out. Like I just didn’t know, but I knew it was happening. I just said in my head, um, how can I get into Brooke’s coaching program without paying for it? My brain would go to work on it all night long.
So after doing this for a couple of weeks, I would say I woke up one morning and I was scrolling on Facebook, on my phone, still in bed, and I saw a goal cast post about Tony Robbins. And I know Tony Robbins, his story. I love him. I adore him. So I was like watching it and it said that Tony got his start by working for Jim Roan and my brain immediately went to, Oh my gosh, that’s it.
You can work for Brooke. And I will tell you, literally seconds later my brain freaked out and decided that that was very improbable and a really stupid idea. But I know better than to trust my brain. So I said, well, that is the only answer I’ve had so far, so I’m not going to let my fear and doubt win I’m just going to email her and give it a shot. Now I was actually terrified because she is such a role model to me and I like her so much that I was really afraid of being rejected by her.
So it was really something that I had to do to get out of my comfort zone, jumped out of bed 4:00 AM went to Starbucks, like created an ebook for her because I’m a huge proponent of providing value ahead of time. So I can’t even tell you how many emails I get from people that I don’t even open because they just want something from me, right?
Everyone who has a business online has this happen to them and everyone just wants something from them. So I really didn’t want to just email her and ask for a job, but I sort of wanted to email her and ask if I could work for her in exchange for her program. But I knew I had to provide value. So I created this nice ebook for her, sent her the ebook, asked her basically for a job and she actually replied and said, how can you provide $18,000 of value to my company? Of course my brain freaked out and was like, I don’t know. You tell me I’ll do anything, you know?
No, I had no idea. So I said, okay brain, I’m not going to let you in here either. I like the next day, I think it was, I again went to a coffee shop in the morning, two hours before my day job at the time and I created like 16 different pitches and I sent them to her.
I didn’t hear back for like a week. I followed up and she basically said that she sent them to her team and they really didn’t have a need for any of the things that I offered. And I said, okay, I will keep thinking. And about a week later she emailed me out of nowhere and said, here’s my offer. And I replied, yes. Without knowing anything, I didn’t even know if I had to move to Dallas for this job. I just knew that I was going to do it.
Like I just didn’t care. It was just like done. I remember literally freaking out at work, um, it was so amazing because one of my coworkers was o, this kind of journey with me. She knows all about The Life Coach School podcast and she knew I did this and like she was literally as in shock as I was like, it’s just so amazing.
Amazing when you manifest this and put that out into the universe and then you create the result and like it happens. You’re just like, Oh my gosh, this worked. Like what? So I worked for a Brooke for four months. I got into the coaching program. I basically paid with my time and work instead of by writing a check. And that is how I got into this coaching program. And then I, you know, went to the in person training.
I did the three months and then in a couple of weeks I get certified and I am so excited to work with the school for another year to do the entrepreneurship part of the program, which is building your business. So I will get access to an amazing company that will take my business from where it is now to the next level for the next year, which is super, super amazing. And I already um, am really excited to know how to coach because I do plan on having a coaching program in the future. If you are interested in getting on the wait list, you can go to Nataliebacon.com/coaching.
Now I want to give you tips for you to use the questions tool in your life. First and foremost, make sure no matter what, that the questions you ask yourself are supportive. You want to think about the result you want and then create a question to come up with that. And while I’m at it, let me just tell you that if you’re just defaulting to asking your brain unsupportive questions, you got to stop because your brain is literally always going to look for evidence of whatever you’re asking it.
So why is my life so hard? Or why did this happen to me? Why am I broke? Why does my business suck? Whatever you’re asking your brain, your brain will look for evidence of. So just reframe those negative questions into positive questions and do the work. You know, pick one thing that you really want to focus on and come up with a question and then ask that question over and over and over.
The more specific the question, the better. But it is okay to start vague, right? So you might say, how can I make more money in my business? But then you might get an answer like sell more courses. So then the next question you might want to be asking is, how can I sell more courses? Or how can I sell five courses per day? Or whatever it is. But if you get really specific on your questions, then it’s going to be a lot easier for your brain to come up with the answer.
If this is your first time doing this, I want to go through four questions that I think are just really, really powerful for you to do aside from whatever specific result you want in your life. So the first question is for you to ask, what am I thinking? This is seriously the most powerful question you can ask because it is going to show you the 60,000 thoughts that you’re thinking by default every day. And I want you to spend some time writing down what you’re thinking. So when you ask yourself, what am I thinking, write down what you’re thinking. And don’t stop in between thoughts.
Just write for like 10 to 20 minutes straight and then, you read it and it’s going to reveal to you what you’ve been thinking. And you are likely not going to like what you see. But hopefully you can see the tie between what you’re thinking and the results you have in your life. The results you have in your life are based on your beliefs, so it shouldn’t be surprising what you’re thinking given your life. If you want to know what your future looks like, pay attention to what your thoughts are because you are literally creating your future thoughts create your feelings, feelings, scrape your actions, actions, create your results. Remember that so your thoughts are going to lead to the future that you create.
Next, I want you to ask yourself, how does this thought feel? So just pick any thought that you’re thinking and then remember your thoughts create your feelings. So how does it feel if the thought doesn’t produce a good feeling? You may not want to think it. That sounds really easy, but I’m serious. It really does work. If you’re new to this work, just pay attention to it. What am I feeling? And then don’t attribute that feeling to someone else, right?
Someone says something to you. It doesn’t make you feel a certain way. What made you feel a certain way is what you made, what that person said mean. A good example is like if someone says to you that they don’t like your red sweater, well if you’re wearing a blue sweater, you’re gonna like think they’re crazy. You’re gonna be like, I don’t what the, okay, you’re not gonna feel anything. You’re going to think the person’s like out of their mind. But if you are wearing that red sweater, you are going to maybe make it mean something else or you won’t. But notice that what the person said, change. Okay?
But you can have an array of different emotions based on what you make it mean this is great because it gives you all your power back and it’s okay to want to feel bad, right? Of course you’re going to feel bad, but just don’t attribute it to someone else, right? That’s kind of like being an emotional child. It’s you who are responsible for how you always feel, and this is just great news because it gives you all your power back. Make sure when you’re describing the feeling that you just use one word, so we’ll a lot of times get into trouble when we describe how we feel and we will say a thought.
So a feeling is like I’m happy, sad, fearful, excited. I feel love, I feel study, I feel anxious, I feel grateful, whatever. Just name it as one word, emotion and remember like there are times when you’re going to want to feel negative emotion. The point is not to avoid negative emotion, it’s just to become aware of what you’re thinking and then how your thoughts are creating your feelings. Just that awareness alone can be like a total game changer in your life. Like when I learned that my thoughts create my feelings, I was like, what? What is happening? It was amazing.
Then I want you to ask yourself, why am I choosing to think this? And the way that this question is framed is so amazing because it shows you who is responsible for the thoughts and the feelings. It’s not your mom, it’s not your coworker. It’s not your boss, it’s you. And you can choose to think and feel whatever you want. Every thought you have is a choice.
So when you ask yourself, why am I choosing to think, this? It gives you your responsibility back. It shows you it’s not your circumstances causing anything. It’s literally your thoughts about your circumstances. You might think it’s your circumstances, but it’s not. It is your thoughts about your circumstances. So let’s go through an example. You might ask, what am I thinking? Let’s say you’re thinking, I’m thinking that I can’t make money from my blog.
How does that thought feel? Maybe it feels hopeless, like you feel hopeless when you think the thought, I can’t make any money from my blog. Why am I choosing to think this? And maybe your brain says, well, I haven’t done it before. I haven’t been successful yet. Notice that this example is going to show you how your thinking is causing your feelings, and your feelings are causing your actions and your actions are causing your results.
So if you want a result of making more money from your blog, you’re going to have to think differently, right? You don’t get the result first and then work backwards. You actually have to change your thinking first and that will change your feelings and that will change your actions and that will change your results.
The last question I want you to ask yourself is what result do I want? And then answer that question right and that’s going to be your new thought. That’s going to be, Hey, I want to create a six figure online business and quit my job. Then I want you to play that out. What does someone who has a six figure online business and that’s their full time gig, what do they think about? What does someone who has a six figure online business feel and I want you to write out the thoughts and I want you to write out the feelings that you think you would have if you had that result.
You might figure out that a person who runs a six figure online business is thinking about how to overdeliver in value. They’re thinking about how to produce more. They’re thinking about how to scale to seven figures. They’re thinking about how to work fewer hours. They’re thinking about email marketing, whatever it is. I mean, I’m just throwing some things out there, but write down what they’re thinking about. Notice that they’re not thinking about how to get to six figures. It’s really, really interesting.
Notice how you think they would feel. How would you feel if you quit your job and had a six figure online business? Would you feel confident and steady and committed? Would you feel excited? Would you whatever the feeling is. This exercise is going to get you into this space of creating new neurpathways where you literally create a new person in your mind, so you start to experience yourself as the person you want to be in the future.
When you think of the thoughts and feel the feelings you want, you’re going to create this new version of who you want to be and the more that you spend time in this space, mentally, the more you’ll create the real result in your life. But it’s not enough to just create the new thought of what you want. As a result, you also need to pay attention to how that would feel because it’s, it’s not until you really feel yourself experience yourself as that new person that you can start to identify as them. It’s a really, really powerful when you do this, I really recommend also journaling as that future person. It’s super, super fun.
So here are some examples of good questions that you can ask. Again, if you have gone through these deeper questions and you already have one that you want to do yourself, these are just fun ones that also might be really useful for you.
How can I love more today? How can I make more money in my business? What’s the person who I want to become thinking about? How can I produce more today? How can I lose more weight? How can I have more fun today? What kind of wife or husband or partner do I want to be? How can I grow my business this year? How can I stop struggling with my goals? How can I design my future from my future instead of my past? What am I grateful for today? How can I love my money more? What can I do to be a better person? What can I do to experience my emotions instead of reacting, avoiding, or resisting them? What can I do to live my best life?
If you want amazing answers, you have to ask amazing questions. Pay attention to the quality of the questions that you are coming up with. The result of using the questions tool is that you will create new thoughts and beliefs and these new thoughts will create new feelings and once you’ve actually started to feel in this new way, you will begin to experience it as if it’s already happened.
You can literally create your future from your future and this starts internally. It doesn’t start from getting the result. Most of us until we do this work are living just by default thinking, right? We’ve programmed our minds to repeat the past questions is an amazing, straightforward tool that you can use to break the habit of repeating your past and create new results you want in the future. And that future is only limited by your mind. I knew I was going to get into Brooke’s coaching program. It wasn’t like I was hoping for it or thought it would be like a good idea.
There was like this deep expectancy that I had that I knew I was doing this program. I did not know how, but I knew and I didn’t really care that I didn’t know how. I literally just created the result ahead of time and it was as good as done and that was six months ago and my life has changed forever and I am so, so, so grateful for it and I wouldn’t have been able to do it without using questions in my life.
So I highly suggest using questions. Again, I teach it in Design Your Dream Life Academy. There’s also a free training, Nataliebacon.com/dreamlifetraining, all one word that you can go through, a free seven day personal development training by me. I just want to leave you with six months from now. You can be in a completely different place mentally, financially, and spiritually. I want you to keep working and believing in yourself. You can absolutely create the future that you want most. I will see you next week.
Thank you for listening to the Design Your Dream Life podcast. Subscribe to the podcast to get the latest episodes sent directly to you. To learn more about designing your dream life visit NatalieBacon.com.