Have you ever had a situation where you didn’t know how to do something, so you immediately ask someone a question? I know I have.
You may turn towards the expert in whatever you’re learning about because it seems like the fastest way to get the answer.
It also seems like someone else for sure knows the answers and you don’t.
But I want to teach you a new and different way of getting answers to questions…
I want you to answer your own questions.
You have all of the answers to your own questions inside of you.
Really, I’m serious.
Culture has taught us to ask other people questions because we’re raised to think that parents, teachers, and friends have all the answers.
But that’s not the best way to do things.
To help you do this, I’ve come up with a new tool called Question Leadership.
It will help you to answer your own questions to move yourself forward in the direction of your intention.
By using Question Leadership, you can grow and achieve your biggest goals.
It’s important for success in any area of your life, and it’s super important if you ever want to create new results in your future.
By creating new results in your future, with answers that you came upon yourself, you’ll gain more confidence.
You’ll have the proof you need to believe and know that you have all the answers and if you don’t, you can figure it out.
When you exercise Question Leadership, you lead your life. You don’t need other people to solve your problems. You solve your problems.
Once you know how to use Question Leadership, finding answers will be a lot easier.
In this episode, I show you how to use it and what it can do for your life.
Here are helpful resources to go along with this episode:
- Life Hack: How To Answer Your Own Questions (blog post)
- Life Hack: Ask Your Mind Questions (podcast)
- The Life Hack I Used To Get Into An $18k Coaching Program (blog post)
- How To Live An Intentional Life (free training)
- Grow You (coaching)
Full Episode Transcript
Welcome to the Design Your Dream Life podcast where it’s all about designing your life on your terms and now your host, Natalie Bacon.
Hey there my wonderful, lovely B F F did you know that’s how I feel about you? It’s true. I feel like every week we have this time together and I really just look forward to it and enjoy it so much and today is no exception. I’m especially excited because I’m going to teach a new tool called question leadership. Now listen to the previous podcast about questions. It’s called Life Hack: Ask Your Brain Questions episode that is about asking questions and it’s about asking your brain the right questions and in that episode I shared how I got into an $18,000 coaching program without paying for it using the questions tool. It’s super fun.
It’s also something I teach in Personal Development For Her, my personal development program that hopefully you are already in if not go to personaldevelopmentforher.com. Today I want to talk about the flip side of that, which is answering questions and that is what question leadership is all about.
So to lead and to be a leader, it means that you cause people or something to move forward, right? You’re leading, you’re leading them. Question leadership means you’re answering your own questions to move yourself forward or move something forward in the direction of where you want to go. And the way that this works is that before you ask someone outside of you right, before you ask someone else a question, you answer it yourself and you know your reasoning and then you test it and you only ask someone else the question after you’ve done all this.
So it requires that you have some sort of question that you don’t know the answer to. You come up with some hypothetical proposed answer and you know why that’s your guests and then you take action by testing it and then you evaluate it and then if it doesn’t work, you go back up to the previous step of creating a new guess.
And then you go through the whole process of knowing your answer again and then evaluating if it worked. And if there is someone to ask eventually you can ask after you’ve tested this out, but not a moment before. Now you might be wondering, okay, well if I don’t know the answer to my question, how will I answer it? Right? The whole point of having a question is that, I don’t know.
I want you to give it your best guess with the reasoning why. I don’t want you to let yourself sit in, I don’t know or confusion. Your brain loves this. It’s like, Oh, I don’t know how to make money on the internet, so I guess I just won’t do it. Or I’ll ask someone else. That is how we’ve been trained and I’m telling you it is a really big problem and I see it all the time.
So we grow up thinking that our parents have all the answers, right? We ask them all our questions when we’re really little and they give us the answers and then we go to school and we think that our teachers have all the answers at school. So we grow up asking our parents and teachers all of our questions and they all answer them.
And this is so ingrained in us that we continue to do this when we are in adulthood and it’s a really, really big problem because what it teaches you is that you don’t have the answer. The answer is for sure outside of you and unless someone else tells you the answer, you can’t move forward. And question leadership flips that on its head and it teaches you how to use your own brain to come up with the answer. And the beauty of this is that it can lead you to move forward and grow on your own and get the success in any area of your life.
It will teach you how to achieve your goals, whether it’s starting that online business and actually making money, whether it’s, you know, losing weight, whether it’s, you know, meeting the person that you want to be with, whatever it is that you’re setting forth about doing right. Whatever goal you have, whatever you want to do using question leadership will help you move forward and grow without needing to rely on someone else.
So I love this example. I worked for The Life Coach School for about a year and Brooke Castillo, the founder who I’ve talked about at length, she’s my business mentor and coach and I admire her so much. And when I worked in her company, she has a rule that you cannot ask anyone a question without filling out what’s called like a decision filter. But basically what it is is it requires you to answer your own question and give the reason why.
So you can still ask the question, but you have to have thought through what you think the answer could be and give your reasoning. And once I was chatting with her because of something that I was trying to figure out and it was, it was through online, everything was online and she was asking me my reasoning for a decision and she explained it was so important for her to know why I made the decision so that she could teach me how to think better.
And I think I like laughed out loud when I heard her say so I can teach you how to think better. But then I thought about it, it was so good. I was like, Oh, this is why this woman is my hero. And so gangster, like she really has taken on the responsibility of being a good coach and mentor in a way that is more difficult than just giving the answer.
Right? So that’s what I’ve tried to do with my own students and clients. Instead of giving them the answer, I teach them how to come up with the answer. So people actually do this all the time in my life. They are constantly asking me questions about everything from money to personal development and mindset and goals to online business and making money and all of the things right.
And before I thought I was helping them by giving them the answer. But you know what happens when I give someone the answer to their question, I get better at the thing and they get more reliant on someone outside of them for the answer. Now remember, I did not go to Booth. I did not get my MBA. I have no business making all of this money on the internet. Right? I literally just figured it all out on my own.
So now my mind, my brain has been programmed. I’ve reprogrammed it to always be figuring it out, right? I don’t know how to make seven figures on the internet. I am figuring it out every day. I’m trying different things. I’m moving a little bit closer. I’m looking at my results. I’m making more money so I know I’m moving in the right direction.
Clearly not all the way there yet, or else I’d have the result. When I didn’t know how to make six figures on the internet, I took a course and then I implemented everything. I read books and then I implemented everything. I tried things and I figured it out. So I got really good at relying on myself for the answer. When someone leans on me for the answer, right? I’m just the one who’s going to get better. So what I want for you is that I want you to lean on yourself and get really good at answering your own questions.
So that you get better at moving forward because I promise you you have the answer and you have the capability of figuring it out and a really good coach will teach you how to do this. So it’s funny cause obviously now this is what I do and teach and so when people email me, you know, in all of my courses, like in Blog With A Full Time Job, you go to a blogwithafulltimejob.com if you’re in that course, I let people email me their questions, but now instead of just answering their questions, I help them answer their own questions, right?
A good coach knows that I don’t have the answer and the right decision. I don’t know what your niche should be and anyone who tells you exactly what your niche should be is just making it up, right? We don’t know.
This is really funny. You get to this place in business and you’re like, Oh, we’re all just winging it. It’s totally fine, but now I help people figure out the right niche, right? It’s trial and error. You just keep trying different things. And then evaluating. So I’m giving examples from online business and making money because that’s the space I kind of live in.
But this applies to everything. So anytime you have a question, I want you to use question leadership, I want you to figure out what the possible answer could be. And I want you to have your reasoning for what you think, why the answer is. And then I want you to try it. And I want you to do all of that before you ever ask the question. Now, could there be situation where you know you’re in a work environment and you like can’t test it out for whatever reason, um, ahead of time, that’s fine.
But at a minimum you still have to come up what you think is the answer and the reasoning before going to that person. And I’m telling you, your boss or whoever you’re working with on your team will be shocked because no one does this. We all have been trained right from culture to just think that someone else has the answer. So I need to go and ask them.
So let’s say you are an employee at work. And you’re working on a project with a group and you’re wondering how to create the graphics for the presentation and do it in the best way possible. Like you’re not really sure. So the question is, how is the best way to create the graphics for the presentation for the client, right? And so you don’t know and your brain will tell you, you don’t know. And your brain will tell you that someone else down the hall and the other office for sure knows.
And so you should go to that smarter person who’s been here longer and get the answer in 2.5 seconds. And I’m going to tell you is that when you do that, that other person gets better at their job and you get worse. Or at best you stay the exact same.
You do not grow and improve because you’re not reprogramming your think. You’re not growing your think. You’re not changing your thoughts and expanding your mind. So I want you to take the time to answer the question yourself. Even if you think it could be wrong, you’re at least going to try and you’re going to have your reasoning. So let’s say you might say, okay, well I’m going to use Istock photos, I’m going to use Canva and I’m going to use PowerPoint and I’m going to put stock photos in the presentation and use our logo.
And the reason is that we have resources that I have access to at our company and we’ve been using them before, but if I use them in this new way, it will be a better visual experience for the client. Whatever. You come up with the reasoning and you’re still not sure if it’s right, but I don’t care.
What I want you to do is train your brain to look for the answer because you definitely have an answer of the next step even if it ends up being wrong and then you create a plan for it. The same is true for an entrepreneur. I think this is where you can do the most work is for yourself as an entrepreneur. You have to get good at answering your own questions. No one knows what the heck they’re doing out there. They’re just trying different things and they’re evaluating.
So the most obvious one, let’s say you’re not making the amount of money in your online business that you want to make and you’re wondering how to make more money and you just have no clue, right? Maybe you started your business a year ago and your revenue hasn’t really increased.
So the question is, how can I make more money in my online business, right? I want you to answer that question yourself. I don’t want you to reach out to someone you know. I don’t want you to go to a Facebook group and ask it. I don’t want you to email me or your friend. I want you to answer it yourself. Okay? How can I make more money in my online business? Well, how about I try creating a digital product to sell? Maybe it’s an online course and then I use email marketing to sell it.
And my reasoning is, well, I love Russell Brunson and I know from his work that he always talks about the what and the how. And Natalie teaches this in Blog With A Full Time Job. And I’ve taken her course too still not making money, but I know that it’s all about the what and the how. It’s what I’m selling and how I’m selling it. So if I’m not making money in my business, something is wrong with what I’m selling and how I’m selling it. So I’m going to come up with a plan to sell something, the what to the online course, and then I’m going to sell it and I’m going to try email marketing because everyone on the internet talks about email marketing. So I’m going to create this digital course and I’m going to sell it with email marketing and then I am going to evaluate it and I’m going to just take step by step to implement this and see if it works.
And then if it doesn’t work, I’m going to mess with the how. Maybe I need to figure out how to sell better. Maybe I’m doing something wrong. I’m going to get in the details in that way. Right? Do you see what I just did there? Like, I literally just answered a huge question that seems impossible.
Like your brain for sure is like, well, I’m not making money in my business. So I just, I don’t know how someone else for sure has the answer. And I have to be careful to do this when I’m going to seven figures, right? It’s like at every phase of success or growth, your brain is going to for sure think that you don’t know how and that’s someone else for sure knows the answer and that you really need to get the answer from them. And really what you need to do is just ask your brain better questions and come up with answers and try it.
So whenever my brain indulges in confusion is like, well, I don’t know how to make seven figures, I’ve never done it before. I’m like, okay, stop. I refuse to let my brain sit in I don’t know, it’s a rule. I have a constraint I have in my life. So if I did know, what would I do, what would I try? Okay.
And that is literally what I’ve been doing for the last five months. And I can evaluate it. Okay. How’s the revenue going? Okay, it’s up, right? It’s like double what it was last year at this time. That’s great. I don’t know how I’m going to double it again by the end of the year. I don’t know. And my brain loves to think. Well, that’s not possible, but I know my brain, my like primitive brain, right? That mammal brain is wrong and I’m going to use my prefrontal brain and I’m going to answer my own questions.
Okay? And now of course the world I’m in is online business and making money and I love it and it’s so fun. But this does in work and apply for everything. It’s not just as an employee and in your career, it’s also for your own goals. So the example that’s really easy to use is losing weight.
So let’s say that you want to lose weight and you’re wondering, how can I lose weight? Your brain is like, I’ve tried all these diets. I’m the certain age. Your brain is coming up with all the reasons why you can’t lose weight, but you’re still wondering how can I lose weight? Right? I don’t want you to go to the next book, the next course, the friend, the coach, the whatever, and get the answer right. There is a time and a place for that, and especially if you’re balancing passive action with massive action.
I think it’s really valuable to take the course and then implement and make sure you’re working on your mindset at the same time. But even if you take the course, what I see happening, because right I’m course creator, I see people in my courses, they will take it, they’ll get it, they’ll get all the answers. The answers are all in my course. You just take Blog with A Full Time Job and everything is good to go for at least a year.
You’re like, for sure on the right track, but people will still email me and ask me what their niche should be, right? Because they’re not using their brain. They haven’t trained their brain to answer their own questions. So back to the example of losing weight. If you want to lose weight and you’re asking yourself, how can I lose weight? I want you to answer that question yourself, right?
Maybe you’re like, I’m going to try intermittent fasting. My reasoning is that I’ve read books in the past and I’ve heard people talk about it in a way that it actually really works, but you know, I haven’t tried it myself because I’m nervous I won’t be able to do it and it seems really hard, but I really want to get stronger and more competent and I think this is something I’m willing to try.
So my plan is going to be to eat only during an eight hour period. Every day I’ll do from 10:00 AM to 6:00 PM I won’t make any exceptions and then I’ll continue to weigh myself to evaluate if it’s working and then I’m going to track my progress and reevaluate how it’s going in one month. Right.
What I’m showing you here in these examples is that your coming up with the answers and you’re going to get more confident when you do this because you’re gonna start to realize that no one really knows the answer. They’re just coming up with the answers because they’ve trained their brain.
If you would have asked me seven years ago, five years ago, how to make money on the internet, I would have said, I don’t know. Right? If you ask me now, I can tell you the answer, but that just makes me better at making money on the internet. Especially if you ask me something that I’m not exactly sure about and then I go figure it out. I just got better. And you did not. You might think you did. Cause you get that quick fix. You’re like, Oh, now I know how to set up whatever.
But then you have another question and then you come to someone else to answer it and you will think that you’re making progress, right? Because you’re getting these little pieces, but you’re actually not. And you can always know that by looking at the result, right?
You’re not going to make money that way. That’s just not how it works. So you’re not going to lose weight that way, even though people are going to tell you different things. What it comes from is you actually taking action and trying things and seeing what works. And I want you to do this. I want you to use question leadership and lead your own life.
That’s one of the questions I always love to ask and answer myself. It’s like, am I leading my own life? And it’s a yes or no question, right? If the answer is no, then I need to take a look at why not and my thinking and kind of do all that mindset work.
I do want to mention that when you do this and you will come up with an answer and you will try it and you will know your reasoning, but the result actually might not work.
Question leadership teaches you how to rely on yourself. It teaches you how to think better. It teaches you how to have more confidence and how to create that result you want in your future. However, it doesn’t mean that you’re necessarily going to get it right and get that result on the first try.
That means that many of your answers that you come up with will actually be wrong and that’s totally okay. In fact, it’s normal, especially in the very beginning when you’re used to relying on everyone else and your brain’s going to come up with answers that aren’t that great and that’s fine. That is part of it. I don’t want that to be a reason for you not to continue to do this and for you to think that, okay, well see that didn’t work Natalie. So I’m going to go ask someone else cause they for sure know.
I want you to say, Oh okay that didn’t work and here’s why, right? Cause I want you to evaluate and then I want you to try something else. The point isn’t to always be right and get the result at the first try. The point is to get stronger and grow because on that foundation is where you eventually will get the right result. There’s no quick, you know, win from here to a million. There’s no quick win from here to losing 50 pounds or to getting that promotion right.
I want you to rely on yourself and be okay with being wrong. It doesn’t mean anything about you, it’s just a failure. It’s just missing the mark and then you just reevaluate and then you start to think better. So the point is for you to be less dependent on other people so that you don’t falsely believe that they’re going to be the ones creating your results.
Like people for sure think when they work with me in the beginning that I am the one that’s going to create their business, but it’s actually on them. Now that is terrifying, right? But it’s also amazing because when you do grow and your confidence soars from that place, it’s like no one can take that away from you.
It’s like I have such a strong belief in my ability to build businesses and make money and have money and create it and help other people do it right? Because I had to figure all of it out myself. So I want you to be the person who figures it out for you. And of course you want to learn and you want to take courses and you want to get the information. But what I see happening is that people get the information and then they still ask.
So eventually you can ask, I don’t want you to think you can never ask a question, but what I see is that people get all the information right and they read it and then have all these initial questions and they don’t ever even try to answer them one time for themselves.
They immediately email me or they immediately go to someone else and they think that that other person has the answer and the other person does have the answer, but it doesn’t serve you to ask right away. So I want you to go through this process and only ask the question after you’ve come up with the reasoning, at least for one try. If it’s in your business, you should try multiple times. I see this all the time in Facebook groups. People ask questions about the most ridiculous things and it’s, it’s not a problem that they asked the question.
The problem is they’re not actually going to grow and get better at solving their own problems and answering their own questions. So I want you to take a guess and figure it out and do a Google search and get the answer. And try it and start using this right away and then only ask a question after you’ve done this at least one level deep, hopefully a few times.
Like it’s like, okay, I thought that the way to build my email list was to do X, Y, and Z and I tried X, Y, and Z and then I got this result and I actually lost so many subscribers and they didn’t increase. And then I tried this thing and I got with this company and I tried A, B and C and A and B worked, but C ended up not working. And I think this is why, but I’m not sure.
And now I’m going to try D, E and F, but I’m wondering what you think about that. If someone asked me that question, I don’t even know what I would do. I’d fall out of my chair. And you know why? Because people at that level of think, people who are using question leadership, they just keep trying to figure it out and they figure it out on their own.
They’re not even asking. Cause you can get so good at this and figuring out your own questions and your own answers, right? It’s the people who have the initial question and then they go and they ask the question right away. It’s actually just not serving you. It’s that short term hit that short term win, right? But you’re sacrificing that long term success.
So my final tips for you to put this into are I want you to have an educated guess for every question that you ask. And I want you to never ask a question without sharing what you think the answer could be and having the reason as to why. And never let your brain sit in. I don’t know, and be confused. Remember, it’s just your brain loves it. So don’t indulge in the confusion. Just say, okay, well if I did know, what would I try?
What’s one step in the right direction? I don’t need to know how to make seven figures. I can just know what I need to do today that moves me a little bit forward and see if that works to make more revenue. And I want you to remember that the result of doing this isn’t only that you’re going to increase your own confidence and rely more on yourself, but other people will be really impressed with you and they will look to you for answers and you will grow into the next version of yourself and you will get the result that you want.
And you know, even whether it’s your employer or whether it’s you know, your clients, whatever, they’re going to start seeing you in a different way. You’re a problem solver, you’re a figure things outer. You get the answers, you get it done.
And I want you to start small. Well actually you can start big and small, whatever, anytime you have a question, do this. But when you get the wins, when it does work, I want you to use this as evidence to support doing it more in the future.
So for example, I love to talk about making seven figures and I’m not making seven figures yet. And my brain is like, well that’s a problem. How are you going to do it? You don’t know how. And so one thing I do is I look and I say under five years ago I wasn’t making any money on the internet and I then I figured out how to make over six figures, multiple six figures on the internet.
So if I did that for sure I can figure this out, right? I answered my own questions up to this point and I can continue to do that in the future.
So for you, whenever you start answering your own questions and knowing your reasoning and it works, I want you to look to that as evidence that this way of thinking, that question leadership is actually really serving you. And I think that will help you continue to do it because it’ll give you more evidence that it’s something really, really useful to use in your life. So I want you to start answering your own questions. This is a fantastic tool and it will definitely give you more confidence in the future and I’m really excited to see how you use it. I’ll talk to you next week. Bye bye.
Thank you for listening to the Design Your Dream Life podcast. Subscribe to the podcast to get the latest episodes sent directly to you. To learn more about designing your dream life visit NatalieBacon.com.