Showing up for yourself means that you think, feel, and act in integrity with yourself.
Here are a few examples of showing up for yourself that may help explain what I mean.
Showing up for yourself means…
You have your own back.
You say no when you don’t want to do something (instead of people-pleasing).
You lean into the full human experience (you don’t run from your emotions).
You clean out your mind (instead of believing every crazy thought your brain proposes).
You fail with grace for yourself (no beating yourself up!).
You choose to love yourself no matter what (without thinking you need to be “better”).
We often hear “show up for yourself” as a popular self-care trend (especially right now).
But regardless of the circumstances (whether it’s a new job, a pandemic, a spousal fight, or something else), it’s so important to learn how to be your own advocate. When you have your own back, when you show up for yourself, when you lean into your negative emotions, you understand that you’re the happiest you’re ever going to be—right now. You end up so much more in tune with what’s true for you, leading a life of well-being, not chasing the fleeting emotion of happy
When you show up for yourself, you honor yourself as the person you are, what you stand for, what you mean is what you say, how you love yourself and others, and you reach a heightened level of respect and confidence for yourself.
Ultimately how you show up for yourself leads to how you show up in the world. It all starts with you, my very sweet friend.
So let’s take a closer look at how you can actually do this in your daily life…
- Related: Self Accountability (podcast)
How To Show Up For Yourself
There are five ways you can start showing up for yourself TODAY that will make a huge impact in your life. This applies regardless of whether you’re at home with the kids or you’re in Corporate America. This applies to all the women everywhere. Here’s a look…
1. Do Thought Work (Coach Yourself)
The first way to show up for yourself is to do thought work.
What’s thought work, you ask? It’s taking a look at your thoughts by writing them down. When you bring awareness to your thinking, you gain some much needed control over your mental health.
On default, your brain is like a toddler with a knife: means no harm but is quite dangerous unsupervised.
When you write down what you’re thinking, you’ll see your positive thoughts, negative thoughts, and everything in between. Looking at your thoughts is so important but make sure you do it from curiosity and not from judgment. Your thoughts are just that—thoughts. They’re neither good nor bad, and they mean nothing about you. When you understand this, you’ll be able to take control over your mind, think clearer, and coach yourself regularly.
Self coaching is the practice I teach my clients in Grow You (my virtual life coaching program), and it’s an exercise in cleaning out your mind, so you can believe deliberately, instead of believing whatever your brain is serving for the day.
There’s no greater way to show up for yourself than to clean out your mind. Your mind is the start of it all.
2. Get Dressed And Ready Every Day
The second way to show up for yourself is to get dressed and ready everyday.
I explain why this is important in detail here: Getting Ready Every Day Podcast.
The gist: when you get ready FOR YOU, you’re saying, “I matter.” When you get ready only when you go out and see other people, you’re saying, “what other people think of me matters more.”
One of my greatest pleasures is getting ready every day. I shower, I do my hair and makeup. And I pick out an outfit I adore. I do this just for me. I do it even if I have no one to see that day.
My Self Identity is someone who gets ready every day. And I just love that about me.
Best news: you can practice self care in this way, too. You just have to decide.
3. Process (Instead Of Avoid) Negative Emotions
The third way to show up for yourself is to process those oh-so-tough negative emotions.
Most of us run from our emotional discomfort. And it makes sense—we were taught to avoid our feelings. “Don’t be sad! Here’s some ice cream instead.” — said every parent everywhere.
The truth is, when we run from our negative emotions, we make it worse. It turns into anxiety, panic, or anger (more on Managing Anxiety here).
In the long run, this sort of emotional escapism will catch up to you. And it’s a good thing it does. You’ll be introduced to the world of “now it’s time to manage my feelings because I can’t take it anymore.”
Put differently: you’ll reach a point where running from the negative emotion catches up with you. And the best way to embrace life fully and authentically is to feel your negative emotions instead of running from them.
If this is completely new to you, I highly recommend reading The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer. It’ll give you a taste of watching your thoughts and feelings in a way that will help you show up for YOU (the real you, not the Mental Chatter voice in your head).
- Processing Negative Emotions (podcast)
- What To Do About Negative Emotions (blog post)
- Overcoming Self Doubt (free course)
4. Get To Know Yourself
The fourth step to showing up for yourself is getting to know yourself.
This is a DEEP one.
Most of us hurry around life, waiting for over there (which of course never comes).
So what I’m asking you to do, is pause, slow down, and get re-aquainted with yourself.
What do you like?
What don’t most people know about you?
What’s your least favorite food?
What do you love to do for fun?
Do you have a personal mantra?
How do you like your eggs?
What are you favorite flowers?
What sets your soul on fire?
When you get to know yourself, you get clarity about who you are, who you’ve been, and who you want to be. From there, you have so much internal certainty and confidence. It’s a life long and well worth it practice.
- Self Love (podcast)
- 11 Ways To Practice Self Love (blog post)
- How To Fix Your Relationship (free course)
5. Practice Gratitude (The Feeling—Like Appreciation)
The final way to show up for yourself is to practice gratitude.
I know, I know everyone says this.
BUT! I’m not just talking about “writing down what you’re grateful for” and moving on.
I love a good gratitude journal, and I highly recommend The Five Minute Journal if you don’t have one (see my review here). But it’s more than the act of writing what you’re grateful for down. Because you can do that and simply move on. Instead, it’s about feeling it in your body.
When you feel gratitude, it feels like appreciation and abundance for what you have. When you come from the energy of having enough, you then create more of having enough.
By practicing having enough and being grateful for the full experience of your life (negative emotions, and all), you fully show the world, universe, God that you want more of that. And that is exactly what you’ll attract with this work.
- Resource: Scarcity Verse Abundance Mindset (free course)
A Final Note!
Showing up for yourself is a practice.
It’s not something that will come naturally, so don’t think anything has gone wrong if it’s not intuitive for you. Follow the steps above, over and over. And for next level personal development, come on over to Grow You for some life coaching.