I used to hate my legs to the point where I avoided ever wearing shorts or skirts.
After doing this mindset work, I completely changed my relationship with my body.
This is what I want for you.
I want you to have unconditional love for your body.
From there, set and achieve any physical or weight loss goals you have.
One of the biggest tragedies I see that we don’t talk about enough is how much we (as women) are beating ourselves up, especially with respect to our bodies.
So, it’s time to change that…
If you want to listen instead of read, here’s the podcast episode that goes along with this post — Body Love.
Your Body And Your Thoughts About Your Body
I want to start by explaining what’s actually happening.
You have a body.
You have thoughts about your body.
Your body doesn’t have thoughts about it—only you do.
All your thoughts are totally optional.
The thoughts you choose will compound and create really strong neuropathways so that it becomes a belief.
We’re either unconscious about our body image (at best) or we treat our bodies horribly (at worst).
It sounds like having thoughts about your body like this…
- I’m overweight.
- I hate my thighs.
- My stomach is terrible.
- I wish I had hair like hers.
- My arms are too skinny.
- I wish I looked like I did when I was 18.
- I hate skinny jeans.
- I wish I had a perfect body.
Whenever you tell yourself a negative thought about your body, you are strengthening having a scarcity mindset with your body.
The Mistake Most People Make
The mistake most people make with respect to their bodies is that they try to change the facts (circumstances) instead of changing their thoughts.
To learn more about thoughts vs. facts, check out these mindset resources:
- 13 Mindset Hacks That Helped Me Shift From Scarcity To Abundance (blog post)
- How To Improve Your Mindset (podcast)
- How To Coach Yourself (podcast)
- The 5 Step Framework To Master Your Mindset And Design Your Dream Life (blog post)
This means trying to use willpower to go on a crazy diet by eating healthy, then losing weight, and at the end of it hating your body for a new and completely different reason.
Where you start from is where you end.
You’ll find if you hate your body now, you’ll create different reasons to hate it later. It’s time to start learning to love your body where you are right now.
What I teach in Grow You (and what changed my life) is to master your mindset so that you improve your relationship with your body, and from there set and achieve impossible body goals (losing weight, toning up, etc.).
If you wait to achieve the goal to be happy, you’ll never be happy.
What you start thinking about is what you compound and create more of.
Abundance Vs. Scarcity
To change your relationship with your body, you need to figure out what’s that relationship is like right now.
Ask yourself these questions…
- What do you think about your body?
- Are you nice? Are you kind?
- Are you indifferent?
- Are you judgmental? Are you mean?
- What kind of judgments do you have about it?
- If your body could talk, what would it say about how you treat it?
Your relationship with your body is your thoughts about it.
Scarcity with respect to your body sounds like this…
- I wish my body looked different.
- I wish I had her body.
- I’ll dress nice or take care of my body after I lose the weight.
- I wish I looked like the women on social media.
It’s beating yourself up and hating yourself.
Neutral thoughts about your body sound like this…
- I have a body.
- Sometimes, bodies are weird.
- I am a human being.
Abundance with respect to your body sounds like this…
- I love my body.
- I’m so glad I have a body.
- My body is imperfectly perfect.
Whether the thought you have about your body is abundant, neutral, or in scarcity depends on how it feels when you say that thought. If it feels good, it’s abundance. If it feels bad, it’s scarcity.
Something that works well for me is to think about the alternative. The alternative to not having a body is being dead or not alive.
You (your soul) could not exist without a body.
It’s kind of awesome that out of all the odds of even getting a body, that you did get one.
Knowing this makes you much more appreciative of having a body.
Other People’s Bodies
Something else to think about is other people’s bodies. There are so many different body types, and that my friend is a beautiful thing.
Notice what your opinions about other people’s bodies are.
Do you judge their weight?
I really don’t judge other people’s weight. I just don’t think about weight really. It’s a much better place to be in.
When you judge someone about their weight or their body, that means nothing about them. It means only that you have a judgment about their body.
How To Change Your Relationship To Your Body
Your relationship with your body is your thoughts about it.
The best news ever is that you can think anything. Meaning, you can think anything about your body that you want.
No one can take that away from you.
I think that having love for your body is some of the best work you can ever do because you’ll change your relationship with your body. You have your body so long as you’re alive, and what better way to approach your life than loving the capsule that carries you (aka your body).
Wear clothes that make you feel good, accept your body now, and move your body daily.
So, my question for you is, do you have a loving relationship with your body?
Love is amazing.
Love is a feeling caused by your thoughts.
Unconditional love means to experience the feeling of love without expectation from something outside of you.
Applying this to your body means that you have beliefs about your body that create the feeling of love, regardless of the facts about your body.
It’s not, “I’ll love my body when I’ll lose the weight.”
It’s, “I love my body as it is.” And then from there, you can change it if you want (lose weight, eat differently, etc.).
When you love your body right now, you treat it with respect. You care about it. You give it attention. You create more love.
It’s amazing to create more love and have a positive body image.
Benefits Of Body Love
The point of all this work is to change your relationship with your body.
This in and of itself is life changing and transformational, but it is also a great way to see how you think—how your brain has neuropathways with thoughts that you can change.
This brings awareness and consciousness to how you’re creating your results.
Then you can change it if you want.
Also, remember that learning how to love unconditionally in one area at a time helps you have more love in your life. And that will compound. It’s very powerful.
A Final Note!
Some of the most powerful work I’ve done has been on my thoughts about my body, and what I’m calling practicing “body love.”
I feel better and more positive every single day.
I never had really ambitious physical body goals, and yet this work still proved to be transformational.
I changed the way I think about my body forever, and my hope is that you do the same!