How do you know if you have a good relationship?
Answer this one question I created and you’ll know.
I’m calling it the “Good Relationship Test.”
You can use this in every area of your life—not just with people.
You can use it with your relationship with money, your relationship to your job, your relationship to your body… all of it!
Truly, you can (and I highly recommend!) using this test in every area of your life.
Here’s what you need to do…
(Spoiler—this is the best life hack ever because it brings awareness to what you’re creating in your life and what you’ll create in your future if you don’t change.)
If you want to listen instead of read, here’s the podcast episode that goes along with this post — What Would They Say About You?.
The Good Relationship Test
The Good Relationship Test works like this…
- Answer the question: “What would it say about our relationship if it could talk?”
Example: If your money could talk, what would it say about your relationship?
- Are you attentive and caring?
- Or are you neglectful and wasteful, always comparing it to other’s?
Example: If your job could talk, what would it say about how you show up every day?
- Do you complain about it behind its back?
- Do you compare it to other people’s jobs?
- Do you wish it was different?
- Are you appreciative and attentive?
- Are you positive?
- Do you show you care?
- Or do you dread it?
The Good Relationship Test is a way for you to approach every area of your life with curiosity and find out the truth about your life. Not only will you see what you’ve created, but it will reveal what you’re going to create in the future if you don’t change your thinking.
Take the 8 life categories I teach in Personal Development For Her and apply this test.
The 8 life categories are…
- Health (mental, emotional, physical)
- Relationships (spouse, kids, friends)
- Career/business (job and business)
- Hobbies (activities)
Lastly, you can also look at “your life” as a whole for an additional area.
For each area, apply the Good Relationship Test…
- What would your health say about your relationship? How do you feed your body? Do you exercise? Do you sleep enough? What would your body say about how you talk about it and treat it?
- If the relationship to your family could talk, what would it say?
- If the relationship to your neighbors could talk, what would it say?
- If your money could talk, what would it say about your relationship?
- If your career could talk, what would it say?
- If your business could talk, what would it say about how you treat it?
- If your home could talk, what would it say about how you take care of it?
- If your church could talk, what would it say about how you show up to it?
- Do you show up as your best every day?
When you answer the Good Relationship Test question in every area of your life, you’ll reveal your thoughts about it. And those thoughts will reveal the results you’re going to create in your future.
More on creating new results in your future here…
- 11 Secrets To Get Motivated To Achieve Your Goals (blog post)
- How To Set Goals (podcast episode)
- The Best Way To Predict Your Future (blog post)
- Design Your Dream Year From Your Future (podcast episode)
- 13 Mindset Hacks That Helped Me Shift From Scarcity To Abundance(blog post)
- Mindset Hacks (podcast)
- Personal Development For Her (course)
- Grow You (coaching)
You get to choose whether you have a good relationship or not.
A Relationship Is Your Thoughts
This month in Grow You we’re diving into relationships and I want you to have some exposure to what I’m teaching.
A relationship isn’t outside of you. It’s simply your thoughts about something.
You get to think ANYTHING you want at any time. What are you choosing?
Example: if you have a job that you don’t love and you’re asked about it, do you say:
- This is teaching me so much right now and I’m learning amazing skills of patience, determination, and strength, OR
- This job is awful, my boss is terrible, I work so late every day, I truly hate every minute of it.
What you say is a reflection of what you’re thinking.
Your thoughts are always optional.
As you speak, you’re rewiring and strengthening your thought patterns.
Do you like what you’re saying?
Have you created a good relationship or a bad one?
Good vs. Bad Relationship
What makes a relationship good or bad is your decision it was good or bad.
You get to decide what’s a “good” or “bad” relationship.
Generally, positive thoughts will produce positive feelings and a positive relationship. And negative thoughts will produce negative feelings and a negative relationship. Check out my post, A Quick Way To Have Better Relationships to help you improve your relationships.
Examples of positive thoughts:
- There’s more than enough.
- I love this area of my life.
- I’m giving attention and caring for this area of my life.
- This is amazing.
When you think of these positive thoughts, you’ll feel positive emotions, like peace, happiness, acceptance, and love.
This isn’t just for people either, this is for everything. Here’s a look at how it applies in my life.
Examples of using the Good Relationship Test in my life:
- If my business could talk, it would say I give it lots of love, care, and attention. I don’t compare it to other people. I take it seriously and protect it.
- If my clients and customers could talk, they would say I support them, inspire them, and always overdeliver from a place of love.
- If my money could talk, it would say I protect it, love it, take care of it, and like the having of it.
- If my city could talk, it would say I am infatuated with it, love it, and treat it so nicely, regardless of the weather.
- If my home could talk, it would say I take care of it, show it love, and appreciate it so much.
- If my body could talk, it would say I take care of it, I feed it well, I drink a lot of water, and I exercise regularly.
What about you?
If your relationship to every area of your life could talk, what would it say?
You can apply this to people, too.
If your relationship with your spouse could talk, what would it say? Are you kind, supportive, loving, and attentive? Or are you critical, selfish, and always comparing him to other people’s spouses? (Side note—don’t actually ask the person because you’ll never truly know what they’re actually thinking; just do this exercise yourself in your own truth about what you know.)
If you have negative thoughts about any area of your life, you’ll create a bad relationship.
Examples of negative thoughts:
- There’s not enough.
- Over there is better than over here.
- I wish it were more.
- This is awful.
Negative thoughts create negative feelings, such as self pity, worry, confusion, dread, frustration, fear, etc.
When you think negative thoughts that create scarcity, you’ll create a bad relationship. There won’t be enough. You’ll be complaining and comparing. You’ll wish it were different from a place of not having enough.
The good news is: all of this is totally optional.
The way you change your relationship isn’t by controlling the other person or the circumstances of your money, job, business, etc. The way you change your relationship is by changing your thoughts.
Decide To Have A Good Relationship Ahead Of Time
To make sure you have a good relationship, you must decide that ahead of time.
Decide ahead of time you want to have a good relationship.
Decide how you want to think about something or someone (whether it’s your spouse, your daughter, your business, your money, or the weather).
It’s up to you.
How do you want to think about your money, your home, your spouse, your business, your body, your city, your church, your life?
It’s not dependent on the circumstances.
It’s dependent on your thoughts.
When someone asks you how your day is going, decide ahead of time what your response is going to be.
A Final Note!
You get to decide what your relationship to your life is going to be like.
You get to decide what to think and what to say in every situation.
You can create an amazing relationship with every area of your life.
If you create a relationship intentionally, you’ll be in integrity with yourself. You’ll show up every day and you’ll go ALL IN. You’ll make yourself proud. Choose wisely.