Do you want something in your future? Something new? Something different?
More money, more time, more freedom, more purpose, more love?
The best news I have to give you is that you can have whatever it is you want.
The way you do this is by changing your beliefs. Once you change your beliefs, the feelings, actions, and results follow.
In this episode, I show you how to use a formula to in your daily life to change your beliefs so you can create new results in your future.
Here are more of my favorite mindset resources:
- How To Improve Your Mindset (podcast)
- How To Believe Something New (blog post)
- Direction Vs. Intention (podcast)
- Conquering Anxiety Free Course (free training)
- Grow You (coaching)
Full Episode Transcript
Welcome to the Design Your Dream Life podcast, where it’s all about designing your life on your terms and now your host, Natalie Bacon.
Hey and welcome back. I am so excited to be here with you today. I hope you’re having an amazing day. I am still wrapping up my Money Mindset Course, which is super fun just about done and I don’t know if I’m going to know what to do with myself. Products are going to be launched, podcast is out there and it’s going to be um, really fun to just go back to normal quote unquote working.
I don’t even remember what that feels like, but it’s been amazing. So I hope that you are having an amazing time with your business and your career. And if you’re not, why not? Today we are going to talk about how to improve your mindset and I want to start with this amazing, beautiful quote by Byron Katie that I’m obsessed with.
Here’s the quote. I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer. And that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared. Not for a single moment. That joy is in everyone always.
Beautiful, right? So good. Like I get chills every time I read that because of all of the mindset and thought work that I’ve done and I totally know this is true and I want that for you. That’s what we’re going to talk about. I want you to know that your brain is like a computer and it’s your job to make sure that the computer code is programmed for optimal performance. Your brain is not static and it’s not fixed and you can change the wiring.
You can change the programming and kind of reorganize everything so that you don’t rely on your default way of thinking. And the way that you do this is from your prefrontal cortex. And your prefrontal cortex is like your goal setting brain. It’s focused on future planning. It is much slower and it’s future-focused.
So when you set a new goal to start a business and you come up with all these ideas, you’re doing that from your prefrontal cortex. Now when you actually start to take action and you start to freak out, that’s a different part of your brain, not your prefrontal cortex. And that part of your brain is like your primitive brain and it is going to want to fight the decision that you’ve already made from your prefrontal cortex. This is a huge reason why I quit my job the way that I did.
So I decided to quit my job as a financial planner while I was out of town, I was at a conference in California and I was around all of these entrepreneurs and they were all like, do not sign this lease again in Columbus, like you want to do your business full time? Like what are you doing? All this stuff. And it’s just so interesting to put yourself in that situation where you’re around all these different people.
And it was so clear to me that the right decision was to give it a go and quit and move. And I felt no resistance there. I was out of my home, I was out of the city. I wasn’t at work. I was in a completely new environment. My mind was clear and I knew that I had to take action while I was in California because if I didn’t and I waited until I got back into my old routine and I would face a lot more resistance.
So knowing how your brain works, you can kind of expect that when you’re going to make a really big decision or take action on something you, even though you decided from your prefrontal cortex and you were thinking really clearly, it doesn’t mean that there’s not fear and um, you know, anxiety or other emotions that come up when you actually go to take the action.
Like I took action in California to start the process of quitting and moving, but I still had to come home and make the decision and put in my notice. And I was terrified. The amount of like anxiety I had leading up to putting in my notice was like ridiculous. So it, you know, it doesn’t mean that you don’t feel the fear. It just means that you do it anyway. It’s like that famous quote. Feel the fear and do it anyways.
Now to actively change your mindset. The easiest way that I know how to do this is through a formula I learned from Brooke Castillo. She is my coach and mentor and she has formulized something that a lot of thought leaders and um, authors talk about as just facts of the world, right?
We have thoughts, we have feelings, we have actions and results. And she has created this formula to use that to kind of reprogram your brain and solve any problem ever, which is amazing. So the way that it works is that your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings create your actions and your actions create your results. And circumstances are neutral. Your brain has approximately 60,000 thoughts per day, per day. And most of us just haven’t trained our brains like how to think. We just are thinking based on old patterns from how we grew up or what experiences we’ve had.
We’re just not paying attention, which leads to chaos. When you start to understand how to think differently, you’ll feel differently because your thoughts create your feelings. So this is why people with the exact same financial means can be equally as miserable or as happy as anyone else because it has nothing to do with the circumstance of the money, right?
It all has to do with the thoughts about the circumstance and then the thoughts leads to the feelings. You have the capacity to be completely happy right now regardless of your circumstances, like nothing has to change. You can just decide to think anything. I don’t know why I needed someone to tell me this, but it was so life changing. When they did, I was like, Oh my gosh, I can just think whatever I want. Like right now, you can just choose to think whatever you want, like it’s just in your mind, which is so amazing to know.
When you start to become the watcher of your mind and you separate yourself from your thoughts and you watch your thoughts, you’ll notice what patterns you’re in. And you’ll also notice this about other people, right? You’ll see other people who just always seem to have drama in their lives. And it’s not that they have more drama than any one else.
We all have problems and obstacles that come up, but it’s that they’re thinking about it very differently and they’re making their circumstances means so much more than anyone else. And you know the people that I’m talking about, we all have them in our lives, right? So I want you to practice not believing what you think. A belief is just a thought. You’ve repeated so much that you believe it to be true and a thought is just a sentence in your head like, just sit on that for a minute.
A thought is just a sentence in your head and a thought. You keep on thinking so much that you believe it to be true is a belief. Isn’t that amazing to know? And you can believe anything. No one can tell you what to believe. This is huge freedom. I remember when I first learned this, like I, it just rocked my world. Like everything changed. I immediately just changed so many thoughts I had simply believed just because I thought I had to.
You don’t have to believe what you think and you definitely don’t need to or have to believe what anyone else wants you to think, which is so freeing. So I want you to think about your future and I want you to think about what your future looks like and then the results that you have in your life and then the results you think you’ll have in the future.
If you want to change the results in your life and you want different results in your future, you need to change your thoughts and beliefs first. Yes, your actions produce results, right? Everyone’s very action focused. And that’s so true. Actions do produce results, but it’s your thoughts and your beliefs that create your feelings and your feelings create your actions and your actions create your results.
So if you want new results you need to start with your thinking. Here are some of the examples that I think are very common beliefs that like you might want to change if you have them. People have stories about their pasts that just don’t support them so I love the exercise of telling the story of having like a terrible childhood and then telling the story of having the most perfect childhood to get you to where you are today.
Same exact facts but it’s the story that you’re telling. Another one is people believing they’re damaged in some way like you’re a human and you are 100% worthy right now. Right here. You’re not damaged. There’s like a thought patterns that you can change. There’s mistakes you’ve made. There’s life with full contrast to the good and the bad. Like you are a human and you are here like you’re not damaged and no one else is. This is just like beautiful to know.
Another one that you might want to look at is like thinking that you’re going to be happy when fill in the blank happens and believing that happiness is over there when you can just choose to be happy right now, like that’s just amazing. When I learned this, my problems didn’t go away. I just decided to be super happy and it was awesome.
Another belief that you might want to consider letting go of and not thinking anymore is that you’re not supposed to have problems. You are supposed to have problems like in fact, there is no place where you arrive in your life where you’re problem free and this is just great news because it will honestly give you more motivation to go after your goals because the problems don’t seem as bad, right?
Like you’re going to have problems even if you don’t pursue your goals, so you might as well accomplish your goals and have the problems. I mean, if you’re going to look at it that way, right? Might as well go for it. There’s no place where you arrive where you don’t have problems. How do we know? Because that’s the way life was designed. There’ve always been problems and there always will be.
Another one that you might want to let go of is believing that bad things aren’t supposed to happen. This was really powerful for me because I always came from a place of like righteousness and fairness and it was so defeating and it felt terrible like standing up for everything. You don’t have to stand up for anything anymore. There’s such a freedom in that like bad things are actually supposed to happen.
Now, don’t interpret this as meaning that you shouldn’t take action and stand up for the cause that you believe in. Like if you want to go volunteer or protest or make a difference in and choose your cause, choose your way of contributing back to the world, right, but you can’t possibly stand up for and be righteous about everything. It will be exhausting. You will affect your emotional state and your life.
So bad things are supposed to happen. How do we know? Because they always have since the beginning of time and they always, will. These are just some of the thoughts and beliefs that really made a difference in my life and my day to day when I reexamined them.
So whatever it is that you were believing that you want to change and you want to feel better or you want to accomplish your goals or you want to create more money, you want to build a business, whatever it is, you can change your mindset to support you and here is how you do it.
First step is to separate yourself from your thoughts and observe your thoughts. So become the watcher of your own mind. Okay? You also want to do this with your feelings. If you feel a certain way, separate yourself from your feelings and just notice the feeling, right? Like notice that you are not the feeling. Identify it with one word. Separate yourself from the feeling. Separate yourself from the thought and just ask yourself, what am I thinking? Okay?
Once you do that with your feelings and thoughts, honestly that can just be a total game changer in and of itself. We are so used to just running around like as if people are making us feel a certain way when they’re not. It’s actually our thoughts creating our feelings. And you can’t jump inside someone else’s head. So you can’t possibly know what is causing someone to say something or do something like you can’t. So if you’re going to, I always say if you’re going to make up a story, you might as well make up one that supports you, okay?
Once you’ve identified what you’re thinking and what you’re feeling and how that is causing the results in your life, right? So remember, thoughts cause your feelings, feelings cause your actions, actions cause your results. Okay? The results you have in your life have been created by your belief systems, which is actually great news because if you don’t have the results that you want, it’s, it’s even more proof that you can create new results by changing your thinking.
So the next step is to decide what you want to think, feel, and do instead. You can choose anything. This is so powerful. So if you want different results in your life, like what do you need to believe to get those results and you need to really examine your belief patterns and make an effort to change them and the way that you do this is by writing down the thoughts and beliefs that you have now and questioning them and trying to transition to more neutral thoughts.
The main reason why just repeating affirmations doesn’t work is because a lot of times we’ll repeat sentences that other people tell us or that we think we’re supposed to believe, but we don’t believe them, right? Like next year I’m going to make a million dollars, but like you don’t believe that in the slightest repeating sentences that you don’t believe doesn’t work.
That’s why I love the questions tool so much. In the questions tool is where you ask your brain supportive questions. Example would be like, how can I start believing that I can accomplish my goal or how can I make more money next year? When you ask supportive questions, your brain will give you the sentence that it’s looking for. Just make sure that you ask supportive questions and not negative questions and you’ll come up with these new thoughts and you want to practice those new thoughts, but just practice the new thoughts that you actually believe, even if it’s just slightly less negative than your original thought, that’s okay because you’re transitioning.
The goal is to notice yourself defaulting to that unsupportive thought and then notice yourself doing it. Separate yourself from that thought and then ask yourself why you’re choosing to think that and then start saying your new thought and make sure you believe it, even if it’s just slightly more neutral, it’s still progress, right?
And then you do that over and over and over until that becomes the default thought and then you up with an even more neutral thought and then a slightly more positive thought and you’re kind of working from the spectrum of super negative, unsupportive thoughts to really positive thoughts. And when you change those thoughts and those belief systems, you’re going to change how you feel and then you’re going to take the action that actually gets you the results that you want.
I think when you’re starting to do this, it’s really helpful to write it down. At first you can kind of write down a paragraph of all of the things that you’re thinking or you can write down line by line what your beliefs are in a certain area. If you have a goal in that area or just any area you want to work on, and then ask yourself why you’re choosing to believe those thoughts and come up with the new thoughts that you want.
It’s so amazing what you will find that you believe to be true, and it’s not a fact, it’s not a circumstance. It’s just a thought. The problem with just changing your actions, which is what I see a lot of people wanting to do, right? That’s what a lot of coaching is about. It’s like do all these actions, right? Well, if you tell someone to do certain actions and they don’t believe in themselves and they don’t have the right belief system for it there, there’s going to be just so much resistance and you’re probably not even going to do it, right?
So many people I know have taken the same courses that I’ve taken and they have very different results than I have. And the same is true for courses that I’ve taken that I haven’t been successful at. What’s the difference? It’s the exact same content.
People have different belief systems about what they expect from themselves, and that drives their feelings and that drives their actual actions. And then the actions always determine the results, but it always starts from your beliefs. Now when you’re doing these exercises and you’re thinking about how you want to think differently and come from a place that gets you the results that you want in your life, I want to point out the difference between an abundant mindset versus a scarcity mindset.
An abundant mindset means that there’s always enough. There’s always enough time, there’s always enough money, there’s always enough energy. There’s more than enough opportunity for you and everyone else. There’s more than enough money for you and everywhere else you welcome competition. There’s just always enough and you come from a place of generosity and abundance. Now, the opposite is a scarcity mindset. There’s never enough time.
There’s never enough money. There’s never enough energy, there’s not enough opportunity out there for you. There’s a fear of competition. It’s repeating your past over and over, knowing that you don’t like the results you have in your life. It’s just there’s never enough. When you come from a place of scarcity, scarcity is ripe with defensiveness and righteousness, and you can seem to be very in control and strong and have a scarcity mindset.
And the strength comes from an effort to control your life because you’re afraid of what will happen if you don’t. I totally used to have a scarcity based mindset and I seemed very in control. And this was confusing to me when I first learned it because I didn’t understand how I could be so strong and in control, but have a scarcity mindset. But Oh, did I live in righteousness and control and fear and fairness.
And when I really started to do this mindset work, I let go of so many unsupportive beliefs and I became so much happier. And not only that, but all the like wonderful characteristics of having an abundant mindset kind of fell into place. I love more, I’m more generous. I believe there’s more than an opportunity for everyone everywhere. There’s more than enough money for everyone everywhere.
I know that my life is happening for me and it’s seriously such a beautiful thing. It’s, it’s so empowering and it feels so much better than living in scarcity. So if you’re not there yet, don’t be hard on yourself. Just recognize it. Awareness is huge. It’s such a big part of it. Just start by separating yourself from your thoughts and your feelings and you’re halfway there.
One thing that I really like to do when I wake up and when I go to bed is to ask myself, well, what am I thinking and what am I feeling? And then kind of write for a little bit about that. And then I go into the future and I say, what do I want to be thinking and what do I want to be feeling?
This can take five minutes, like in the morning, what do I want to feel today? What is the primary emotion I want to feel today? And to choose that intentionally and come up with a thought that actually generates that emotion. So like today, I really, really wanted to have a super productive day. So I wrote down that I wanted to feel productive and I came up with a thought that really triggered the feeling of productive for me.
This is one exercise alone that I cannot say enough about. It really, really works. If you start your day intentionally and you take action, on thinking that thought you will feel about feeling and then you will take those actions and then you will get those results.
Just know that regardless of your circumstances, you can feel any feeling that you want because it’s your thoughts that create your feelings. There is a free seven day Design Your Dream Life training that you can get all of this mindset work in.
If you go to Natalie Bacon.com/dreamlifetraining, that’s all one word, NatalieBacon.com/dreamlifetraining. And before I say goodbye, I want to read you that Byron Katie quote one more time. I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment. That joy is in everyone, always. Make it an amazing week. I will talk to you next time. Bye bye.
Thank you for listening to the Design Your Dream Life podcast. Subscribe to the podcast to get the latest episodes sent directly to you. To learn more about designing your dream life, visit NatalieBacon.com.