Is there something in your life that you want that you don’t already have?
Take something small like getting up at 5:30AM and going to the gym.
Maybe you have negative thoughts like…
- ‘How many more times can I hit snooze?’
- ‘I can totally skip this workout.’
- ‘Maybe I should just call in sick.’
This is a perfect example of something you can change with the new tool I’m sharing with you below.
It’s called the Alter Ego.
And it’s not just for waking up early. It’s for everything.
If there’s an area in your life you want to improve, you can use the Alter Ego tool to do it.
The idea of the Alter Ego comes from a book written by Todd Herman titled The Alter Ego Effect.
This idea is very similar to Breaking The Habit Of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza (one of my favorite books that I highly recommend!).
Both books, though written very differently, take the same approach that you have to become the person you want to be in order to get the results you want.
This is just another tool to have in your tool belt that I’m so excited to share with you!
So, here’s how it works…
If you want to listen instead of read, here’s the podcast episode that goes along with this post — Alter Ego.
What An Alter Ego Actually Is
An alter ego is a persona that you embody in a specific circumstance to get a specific result.
Think of someone you really like in a specific area of your life, a friend or stranger. Taking on an alter ego would be pretending to be like that person until you actually start to become them in that realm of your life.
The key to thriving in this state is to ‘get into the zone.’ The zone where time isn’t relevant and things are FLOWING. You’re in total alignment.
By practicing having an alter ego and getting into your flow, you build intention and form new beliefs.
This new way of believing will lead to new feelings, actions and results.
- Reminder: this is how I teach changing your mindset. It’s the most powerful way because you rewire your brain by forming new neural pathways. You can read more about that here: How To Change Your Mindset.
Seeing is believing and there’s no better place to start than with yourself!
The Benefits Of An Alter Ego
Having an alter ego can get you one step closer to living the life of your dreams.
There are so many times where we look at other people in our lives and want what they have or wish we were more like them.
Well, why not start being more like them and focus on giving ourselves that praise?
An alter ego can help you get results in an area of your life that you don’t have but want.
Your persona when it comes to your relationship could be solid, but it might not suit you to be that same persona in your professional life. Your relationship persona is getting in the way of your professional one and an alter ego is the perfect antidote.
Take Beyonce for instance.
The woman is a mogul. Guess what she used to reach this superstar status? An alter ego.
Her name was Sasha Fierce, and Beyonce leaned on her heavily when she was becoming a pop star. Since she grew up singing in the church, she felt really uncomfortable being provocative and dancing in a certain way. Enter Sasha. She was a force to be reckoned with on stage, grinding and making sure her hips didn’t lie. Once she was off stage, it was right back to being herself.
That’s a winning combo if you ask me.
Another super combo?
Superman and Clark Kent. You would never suspect Clark Kent, a mild-mannered and clumsy man, to be Superman, which is exactly why he created that alter ego–so he could live a normal life when he wasn’t out saving the world.
The benefits of creating an alter ego are amazing, no doubt. And for that reason, let’s take a look at which area of your life you should create an alter ego in.
8 Life Categories
It’s super useful to use the 8 life categories when you’re creating an alter ego.
The 8 life categories are:
- Personal/religious/spiritual development
Whether intentional or not, you’ve already developed a persona in each of these categories.
You probably thrive in some areas and aren’t where you want to be in others.
The key is to identify where you want to improve how you’re showing up – personal life, family, health, career, business – and choose an alter ego to show up as in that role.
I can show up in my career, business and in money and get.it.done. When it comes to waking up for the gym at 5:30 AM? It’s an entirely different story.
This is where I decide to create an alter ego. Instead of showing up as myself, (someone who doesn’t really want to be up at 5:30 AM work out) I create an alter ego who is an athlete and crushes it at the gym every morning.
Do you cringe at the thought of public speaking because you are shy and introverted?
This is a story you are telling yourself and by believing in this story, you’re only going to create more evidence to support it. Time to create an alter ego who is extroverted, at home in a crowd, and has a boatload of confidence.
However you perceive yourself to show up in each category of life, is how you create a reality that goes along with that narrative.
Stop yourself from telling stories that no longer serve you and create an alter ego to turn that ship around!
Create Your Alter Ego Based On A Result You Want In Your Future
The way you choose your alter ego is you think about the area where you want a different outcome.
If you want to be a super tough and chill yogi, you need to emulate and show up as that alter ego.
Is your goal to be a successful business owner? It’s time to BAWSE up, put on the suit and go to work.
It’s important to be honest with yourself about how you’re showing up in each area of your life. This doesn’t mean that you need to be harsh with yourself. It just means gathering the information you need regarding where you don’t have the results you want and/or where you don’t like how you’re showing up. This will show you where to shape your alter ego.
Decide on a clear end-result you want in an area of your life, then create an alter ego for it.
This is how successful people make it happen – they have the ‘end in mind’ when they make their daily decisions.
Not sure what you want? That’s okay! You may be better acquainted with what you don’t want, and this works just as well as a starting point.
This idea comes from Dan Sullivan and it’s the conception of “Freedom From” vs. “Freedom To.” For example, ‘I don’t want to dread my day; I don’t want to live paycheck to paycheck; I don’t want to be unhappy; I don’t want to struggle with my weight and eating.’
With these in mind, get clear on what it means for you to acquire the opposite. If you don’t want to live paycheck to paycheck, this means you want money – a lot of it. If you don’t want to be unhappy, you need to find out what it is that makes you happy.
Here are some useful questions to help you figure out what it is you want…
1. What do you want to continue?
Examples: being married, spending time with my dog, building my online business, cooking every night.
2. What do you want more of?
Examples: more love, more money, more time, more peace.
3. What do you want to start?
Examples: start working out, start planning, start practicing smiling more, start investing more, start being more confident, start feeling more grateful, start loving your money, start feeling like you’re loved and appreciated.
How To Create Your Alter Ego
The key to creating your alter ego is to identify the thoughts and feelings of a specific person who has what you want and become that person.
Sometimes it’s easier to choose a celebrity, because you are already aware of the traits they possess, rather than trying to make someone up from scratch.
You have to be very clear about the persona you create for each specific role. If you’re NOT clear, it leaves room for you to show up as someone who won’t serve you — with the thoughts and feelings of one of your other alter egos.
If you show up as the soft, sweet wife in your business, you may struggle to find the mental toughness to be a BAWSE.
- Side note: you may want to listen to this podcast about what it takes to be an entrepreneur if this is an area you’re working on.
If you show up as someone who struggles with money, you will continue to struggle with money. Instead, show up as someone who is rich and amazing with money.
If you show up as the BAWSE in your personal life, then you’ll struggle in your relationships. I’ve done this, and let me tell you, it is not fun.
Focus on someone who has the results you want and choose to adopt their traits at the right time. If you’re not careful, you’ll show up inappropriately based on the role and it won’t serve you.
Do you have a clear picture of your alter ego? Great! Time to give them a name. Giving them a name will help you identify when you want to be them and make it more of a concrete identity for you.
Not only do you want to choose who, but you also want to choose 1-3 traits that you want to focus on embodying as this person.
If HOME is your focus, your traits may be receptive, understanding, and flexible.
If BUSINESS is your focus, your traits may be confident, determined, and expectant.
Don’t worry if these emotions and traits don’t feel natural at first. The key is that they get you to where you want to go and that you have a strong emotional connection to them.
Once you become more comfortable as this alter ego, the traits will start to feel like second nature.
Where You Struggle
We all have stories that we tell ourselves to give us a reason as to why we don’t have the results we want. In whatever category you are telling stories about to yourself…is where you need to focus on creating an alter ego.
You choose where you struggle. Every time you tell yourself that you’re just not cut out for the entrepreneurial life, this story hinders you from achieving your dreams.
The same goes for when you tell yourself “I’ve just always struggled with money” or “I’m just not a runner.” Whatever you set your mind to, is what will be possible (or impossible if you don’t believe in yourself.)
Improve your mindset and create the life you’ve always dreamed of having.
Where are you making excuses? Where are you not making progress in your goals? Choose these areas and create an alter ego that will help you CHANGE these circumstances.
Important: Switch Back And Forth
Once you find the alter ego that works for you, compartmentalize it for that specific area and don’t stay in one ego for all of your roles.
When you’re good at one in a specific area, that doesn’t mean it will work in another, so it is a mistake to use them across the board for all 8 life categories.
Each area = a different role.
When it comes to business, don’t show up as a mom. When it comes to your personal life, turn off your bawse status. When you’re performing as an athlete, leave the friend ego at home!
Get good at switching back and forth and choose each role intentionally when you’re in that space.
Need helping turning your alter ego on and off? Use a physical object or artifact, like a ring or bracelet, and only wear it when you’re in that alter ego. This will help you remember to be that persona and embody those characteristics. Just be sure to take it off when you’re done so you can be intentional with how you’re showing up in your roles.
Throughout life, more often than not, there will always be an area to focus and improve on. The most common area I hear my clients have trouble with is honing their work and money alter egos – they’re not showing up as who they want to be in their businesses, in their careers, and with their money.
Keep in mind, this is not the full scope. No matter where your focus needs to be, remember that it is PERSONAL to you.
The End Game
Eventually, you won’t need your alter ego anymore.
When Beyonce realized she had fully integrated Sasha Fierce inside of her, she no longer needed to rely on Sasha anymore.
The alter ego is just a tool for you to sharpen that role in your life so you get the results you want – so you become that person you want to be.
What you’re really doing here is changing your thoughts and feelings more easily instead of doing it as you – you’re focusing on being someone else so you can become this person.
A Final Note!
Your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings create your actions and your actions create results.
Whatever you believe is already creating your reality.
By creating an alter ego, this practice will help you come up with new thoughts more easily, which in turn will help you create the reality you want.
Name the alter ego and keep a piece of jewelry on when you’re in that role. Once you’re done, take it off.
Use this as a reminder for you to embody the most important characteristics of your Alter Ego while you’re in that role.
When you no longer need to rely on this alter ego, you’ll know everything is within you.
I just love this tool. It’s where the magic happens.