Sometimes, life isn’t what you expect it to be.
But even if life takes you in a direction you don’t expect (or don’t like for that matter), there is a way to change.
There’s a 4-step process for learning how to change your life.
In T. Harv Eker’s New York Times besting selling book Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, he lays out this process.
I think his message is so important that I want to repeat it here for you. If you follow these four steps, they will help you change any part of your life.
How to Change Any Part of Your Life: 4 Steps
In Eker’s book, he discusses the 4 elements of change. First is awareness, second is understanding, third is disassociation, and the fourth step is reconditioning. Hopefully, these steps provide you with some guidance if you’re at a point where you want to change. I know they have for me!
The first step to changing any part of your life is knowing that you need to change it.
You have to be aware that you need to change whatever it is you want to change.
This is what people refer to when they say “there is power in knowing” or “the first step to change is knowing”.
For example, if you realize your finances are a mess, but you’re not sure where to start, the best place is to take financial inventory of where you are right now. You can’t change anything without knowing what it is you want to change.
The first step to change is knowing what you want to change — it’s knowing where you stand right now.
The second step to change is understanding why you need to change and what got you to this point.
Once you know where you are, you need to know why you’re there. Knowing the “why” is key to change because without it, you can’t make a change – you won’t know which direction to head or what to do differently.
Using the finance example from above, you need to understand why you behave the way you do when it comes to money. This is your money blueprint. Knowing why you are broke, why you have negative thoughts about rich people, or why you think investing is for crooks, are all part of your money blueprint. Essentially, your money blueprint is how you think about money due to your past experiences, mostly from growing up (what experiences you had; what you were told about money; etc.). Eker talks at length about this in his book.
In step two, you need to understand why you are doing whatever it is you want to change.
Step three is disassociation. This is where the actual change starts. You need to disassociate from the thing you want to change.
Disassociation means to separate. In this step, you stop doing whatever it is you want to change.
For example, let’s say you are broke, you spend all your money, and you really want to be well off. In this step, you would need to stop spending so much money. You could cut up your credit cards and separate yourself from your compulsive spending.
In step three, you have to separate from the habit that you want to change.
The fourth and final step to changing any part of your life is reconditioning.
Recondition means “to condition yourself to do something different – something new”.
This is where you do the real work. You create goals, establish support systems, and create habits that are in line with the new vision you have for yourself.
- Related: How to set goals for beginners
So, you basically need to learn new behaviors in this step. How you execute this step depends on what you’re changing (it could be anything). I highly recommend creating a plan for yourself and writing down what you plan to do – the new habits and suppport systems you plan to implement.
Then, take action. Work your plan. Be the change you want so much for yourself.
A Final Note!
To change any part of your life, follow this process:
- Identify what you need to change.
- Understand why you need to change and what got you to where you are today.
- Disassociate from your current behavior that you want to change.
- Recondition yourself to start supportive habits.
You should be able to use this four-step process to help you change any part of your life.
Don’t wait for the right time. Start now. You deserve it.
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