Do you have a hard time holding onto your money?
Whatever the reason, your money comes in and goes right out.
Maybe you pay your bills right away.
Maybe money is tight.
Whatever the reason, one thing is for sure—that money is out the door fast.
Here’s something you may not know…
This has nothing to do with making money.
It has nothing to do with saving money.
It has to do with having and holding onto your money.
It’s not enough to make more money. It’s not enough to save a a lot of money.
You have to know how to hold onto your money. You have to know how to have it.
This is called the having money mindset.
If you want to listen instead of read, here’s the podcast episode that goes along with this post — Having Money Mindset.
Okay, here is my favorite test to see if you struggle with the having money mindset…
How You Feel When You Log In to Your Bank Account
When you log into your bank account, how do you feel?
This is the telltale test that shows you your relationship with having money.
I used to squirm and dread logging into my bank account.
It didn’t matter how much was in there, I hated logging in.
Now, I love it.
It took practice. It took intention. It took awareness. It took consciousness to make a change about how I feel about my money.
But it’s 100% worth it.
How you feel about your money is your relationship with it.
I love having money. I love my money. It’s fantastic.
I literally get excited to log into my bank account.
And I want to point out this has nothing to do with actual dollars in the bank.
Even if I’ve spent more than normal or my balance is lower than I want, I still feel amazing. I feel gratitude toward my money.
I really like my money.
I appreciate the money I have no matter what.
The reason this exercise works is that your thoughts create your feelings.
If you feel negative, scarcity emotions (like dread, fear, or worry) when you log into your bank account, this means you have thoughts and beliefs that are causing you to feel this way.
Thoughts cause your feelings. Feelings cause your actions. Actions cause your results.
If you want new and different results with money, you have to change your thoughts and feelings about the money you have.
Having Money Because It’s Money
When I talk about having money, I’m talking about having money just because it’s money. Not wanting money for what it can buy but wanting money just because it’s money.
We’re not taught this growing up.
Can you imagine calling your girlfriend and talking about liking your money so much? No way.
But you most certainly can imagine calling your girlfriend and talking about how much you like your new, huge house.
In our culture, we’ve normalize liking and having what money can buy, but we haven’t normalized liking and having money.
I was getting my hair done once, and my stylist and I were talking about this.
I said, “You have to want to have money just because it’s money – not for what it can buy you.”
She blurted out, “Why would I want to do that? It’s just money!”
I said, “Exactly.”
I could tell from that reaction so much about her relationship with money.
She only wanted money for what it could buy her. She didn’t want it from an abundant place just to have it. She didn’t like and appreciate her money. She just wanted more to spend more.
We’ve been conditioned to think this way from how we were raised. We’re taught to spend money, and we’re taught to save money so it can “keep us safe” and protect us.
We’re not taught to like or love money just because it’s money.
Teaching yourself how to like the having of money just because it’s money is the secret to having a lot of money.
Liking (Or Loving) Your Money
If you’re on board with shifting your having money mindset to abundance, the first thing you need to do it practice liking or loving your money.
Because of the Biblical reference, some people don’t feel comfortable loving money. If that’s you, just use liking money instead.
The point is not to become obsessed or greedy. In fact, the point is the opposite. Greed and selfishness with money come from scarcity. What I’m suggesting is you do the opposite.
When you learn to like or love your money, you’ll really appreciate it and have it from abundance. You’ll give more and enjoy the fruits more.
Counter to what most people think, you won’t spend more or hoard more.
If you do this right, you’ll experience steadiness and equilibrium with your money.
Money As A Person
I got an email from my mentor and coach, Brooke Castillo, not too long ago that was called “Money as a Person,” and I about jumped out of my seat with excitement saying, “OMG YES!”
She articulated the having money mindset in a new and different way, as an analogy to having an abundant relationship with a person.
Think about your relationship with money like you think about your relationship with another person. This will help you identify exactly what kind of relationship you have with your money.
To do this, imagine money is a person in your life. Then, answer the following questions:
- How do you treat your money?
- How do you talk about your money behind its back?
- How do you think about your money?
- Are you nice, loving, and positive toward your money?
- Are you negative, pessimistic, and always doubting your money?
- Do you complain about your money?
- Do you tell your money it’s never good enough?
- Do you compare your money to the money your friends have?
- Do you tell your money it’s always less than you expect?
- How do you use your money?
Answering these questions is super powerful because it shows you your relationship with having money.
Your relationship with having money matters a lot.
Decide how you want to treat your money. Decide what kind of partner you want to be to your money.
Your relationship to money matters.
5 Steps To Improve Your Having Money Mindset
Here are 5 steps to improve your having money mindset.
- Log into your bank account and notice how you feel. Awareness is the first step. You have to know what you’re defaulting to before you can change it.
- Name the feeling. Write down the one word feeling you experience when you log into your bank account. Make sure you only use one word to do this, such as happy, excited, grateful, worried, angry, disappointed, etc.
- Identify the thought that’s causing the feeling. Your thoughts cause your feelings. What are you choosing to think about your money that’s causing you to feel the feeling you named in the step above? Write it down.
- Decide what you want to think and feel instead. Identify the feeling you want to have when you log into your bank account. Identify a thought that you believe generates that feeling. For example, you might decide you want to feel the feeling of love toward your money. Then, you might come up with the following sentence that you believe generates the feeling of love for you: “I am so grateful for the money I have right now.” Just make sure that the sentence you come up with is something you believe. If you don’t believe the sentence it won’t create the actual emotion.
- Practice thinking and feeling how you want to feel. Start rehearsing this new thought until it becomes a belief. Start experiencing the feeling you want to feel when you log into your bank account.
A Final Note!
Your relationship with having money matters–a lot.
I remember when I had a push-pull relationship with money, and I’m so glad those days are long gone.
I really like and love having money. The irony is I take such better care of it now. I really enjoy having it, but I also really love giving it away, too.
If you come from abundance with having money, you’ll have more of it. Your relationship with having money will be better.
Unfortunately, the having money mindset isn’t talked about enough, but it’s oh so very important if you want to have a lot of money.
So, decide to change your relationship with having money starting now.