Do you have a hard time holding onto your money?
Whatever the reason, your money comes in and goes right out.
Maybe you pay your bills right away.
Maybe money is tight.
Whatever the reason, one thing is for sure—that money is out the door fast.
Here’s a fun fact: this has nothing to do with making money.
It has nothing to do with saving money. It has to do with having and holding onto your money. It’s not enough to make more money. It’s not enough to save more money.
You have to know how to hold onto your money. You have to know how to have it. You have to know how to treat it well.
Do you treat your money with respect? Do you speak highly about your money? Do you love logging into your bank account?
Do you appreciate your money?
Your relationship with money matters.
Decide what type of relationship you want with the money you have, just because it’s money—not for what it can buy you.
That’s what I’ll show you how to do in this episode.
Here are more of my favorite resources for making more money:
- Why You Struggle To Hold Onto Your Money (blog post)
- Money Mindset Guide (free download)
- Make Money Mindset Blog Posts
- Money Mindset Free Course (training)
- Money Mindset For Her (course)
Full Episode Transcript
Welcome to the Design Your Dream Life podcast where it’s all about designing your life on your terms and now your host, Natalie Bacon.
Hey, welcome back. I’m really excited to talk with you today cause we’re going to talk about having some money. Let me tell you that having money is so different than making money and it’s also different than saving money and having money. The having money mindset is something that is not talked about enough, which is why I’m so excited to talk about it.
And personally for me, I haven’t been someone who had the have money mindset in check until recently. So I think I feel really excited and proud to talk about this. So having money is a mindset where you actually like your money. Now you might think, okay, well I like my money, but do you actually like your money or do you like your money for what it can buy? Yeah, most people will say that they actually like their money for what it can buy.
Right? So what I am going to suggest and encourage you to think about is that you won’t have enough money, enough being whatever, enough is for you until you understand how to want to have your money. How to like having money. I love my money, I have a relationship with my money. It’s fantastic if you don’t like saying love cause I know a lot of people from the biblical reference don’t like that. So use like instead of liking your money, like it’s something else you like.
Like do you get excited about your money? Do you feel good about it? Like how do you treat your money? Having money and liking the money that you have has nothing to do with the amount, right? So your money mindset, whether it’s a having money mindset or the making money mindset or the saving money mindset investing, any of that stuff, it has nothing to do with the actual dollars.
K. so this is really, really good to know. So I used to have kind of like this push pull relationship with money. You know, really glad to get more of it really down when I didn’t have enough of it up and down and you know, because your emotions will tell you what your relationship is with money.
The goal is to get to that place where you are feeling abundant with money and abundance feels good. It feels steady. It’s not like a very extreme. One of the best ways for you to know what your having money mindset is is something I teach in the free seven day Money Mindset Training, which you can get if you go to Nataliebacon.com/money-mindset-training. That’s Nataliebacon.com/money-mindset-training. It’s called the bank account test. So how do you feel when you log in to your bank account?
Notice this. Now I used to be someone who like had so much resistance. I was like, Oh, what’s it going to be? Or like just like dread, right? It’s like this feeling and that matters. Like that signals what you feel towards your money. I will tell you that now I literally get so excited and joyful to check my bank account. And I’m not saying that because there’s more money in it. In fact, it doesn’t matter. Like if it dips a little bit more or like it doesn’t matter what the numbers are in the bank account, I’m being 100% serious.
Like I seriously get so excited to check my bank account no matter what. No matter what the numbers are, it’s my relationship with the money that I have. If you want to have more money, you have to practice liking your money. Be careful. So if you’re trying to get more money and create more money and it’s so fun to make a lot of money.
Like I love making money. It’s super fun. But I see most people can like get on board with that really easily. They’re like, all right, I’m getting my make money mindset in check like they’re hustling, they’re feeling really good about it, but they have these conflicting and unsupportive money beliefs in other areas. So they will overspend and they don’t practice having money just because it’s money.
And I love telling this story of my hairdresser. I said to her once, you have to want money and just because it’s money and not for what it can buy you. And she blurted out, why would you do that? It’s just money. And I said, exactly. So I could tell from her reaction what her relationship was with the money. And I want you to know that this is totally normal. If you’re someone who doesn’t like having money or doesn’t understand what that means, think about in our culture we’ve so normalized like liking what money can buy, right?
It’s like, Oh my gosh, I just got this beautiful home. We’re going on this beautiful vacation, right? It’s all things that cost like a lot of money, but it’s okay and normal in society to talk about them and kind of flaunt them and brag about them, but it’s not okay. And it’s not normal to talk about how much money you have.
Could you imagine if you were just like, Oh my gosh, I’m so excited. I unlike liking my money so much right now, I have so much of it. What friends would like slap you across the face. And be like what? No, but you know, get around the right people, right? I would be like, that’s amazing. So notice how you’re talking about your money and notice what you are making the money you have mean. So if you want to get a lot more money because you want to increase your standard of living or buy more things, like you haven’t quite gotten it yet.
Now you can want the fancy things like there is nothing wrong with that. Like I am all for that. But you also need to understand how to like or love your money just because it’s your money. I got an email from my coach and mentor Brooke Castillo from The Life Coach school and it was one of her Friday coach like emails and it was about how money is a person.
And what she did was she wrote an email describing how your relationship with money is like your relationship with a person. And I just love this. So imagine money is a person in your life and then I want you to answer the following questions. How do you treat your money? How do you talk about your money behind its back? How do you think about your money? Are you nice, loving and positive towards the money that you have?
Or are you negative, pessimistic, and always doubting your money? Do you complain about your money? Do you tell your money? It’s never good enough? Do you compare your money to the money that your friends have? Do you tell your money it’s always less than you expect? How do you use your money? Do you get rid of it right when it comes in the door or do you practice having it?
So I want you to answer these questions and notice it. Notice that your relationship with money matters and how you answer these questions matter. And if you don’t like it, like awareness is the first step. So become aware of how you’re treating your money and how you want to change that. If you do want to change it, because this will affect your ability to have more money in the future, you have to really, really have a good relationship with your money from a place of abundance.
Just to have it. So you know you can kind of come from the opposite place. Like I actually have people reach out to me. They have saved so much money that they almost like hoard it and it comes from scarcity as well. It’s like if you over save or overspend, it’s both from scarcity, it’s just from different reasons. So if you overspend, you’re afraid that you’re not going to get more money. So we’d like you need to spend what you have now cause your needs aren’t going to be met. And if you are kind of like hoarding your money, saving so much that you won’t spend your afraid that your money is going to run out. So you want to keep all of it like you’re very afraid. It’s all based in fear and scarcity. When you’re in abundance, you like your money a lot, you just like having money.
But you also might like to buy some things but there’s not this like push and pull and you really, really will know in your heart what the truth is because there will be like a steadiness with abundance. And look, I will tell you at heart I used to be a spender. I came on this money journey knowing nothing about money. I literally am just like the stereotypical little girl who loves to spend money on clothes.
Like that’s how I grew up and over time and my student loan debt. Thankfully I was able to turn that into a blog that is now my full time job and money is my jam. I love talking about it. I love having it. I love making it. I think that we need to talk more about money honestly and how we can just love having it. Just to have it like wouldn’t that be great?
Like I love having money. Like would you be happy if one of your friends won a bunch of money? Like I would be so happy for them. Right? So notice that because you’re kind of signaling to the world, to God, to the universe, whatever you believe in, like what you want to create for your future. Notice that you can shift your money mindset and you can change your thoughts and feelings about having money.
So the first thing is for you to log into your bank account, notice how you feel, right? And then ask yourself what thought is causing you to feel that way. So if you log in and you feel afraid, like what are you afraid of and what is the thought that’s causing you to feel fear? Like is it, Oh, I don’t know what’s going to be in there or it’s not enough.
Right. Enough is just relative, right? It’s just your opinion, right? You can just say like, I have enough. I know I have enough for today, therefore I have enough. Yeah, it’s all about perspective. And then decide what you want to feel when you log into your bank account. Like what kind of relationship do you want to have with money? Set that intentionally and then practice it. This takes time. This is so funny.
I remember when I first started doing this and came up with this and started practicing it and it was taking me some time to kind of shift my money mindset. My having money mindset from, I always like wanted to make more money but it was only to buy more things like, or to save or to get out of debt or whatever. It was always for a purpose. Like I already had spent the money even if it was good spending, right?
Like getting out of debt, but I never just wanted money just to have it and like I never really appreciated my money. I never really treated it well and like cared a lot about just having it. And the analogy to a person is a really, really good one. Right? Um, if you think about your money as like always being enough for you and your needs are always met and like how you treat your money like you would someone you love very much, it totally shifts your thinking. But like I said, it took me some time to do this.
So it’s okay if it feels awkward at first. Just notice it. Notice how you feel on your thoughts about how you feel right now. And again, if you can write any of this down, that will be really, really helpful. I suggest practicing logging into your bank account daily and really getting comfortable having money and practicing thoughts that you believe and feelings that you want to feel towards your money just because it’s your money.
Like no other reason just because you like having money. I have learned so much from Brooke Castillo with respect to money who she has attributed a lot of what she’s learned about money from her business coach, Frank Kern who is like a marketing guru and genius and what I love about what he’s taught her and what she’s conveyed is that you can just want to have and make as much money as you want to have and make and you can want to buy whatever it is and you don’t have to apologize or justify it.
Like isn’t it so interesting you like, it almost seems like we have to say, Oh well I want to make $1 million but I’m going to like donate to charity so it’s fine. Or like I would never buy that Ferrari or something that’s like extreme or like I just want to be comfortable.
It’s like we’ve normalized like mediocre when it comes to money and we feel like we have to justify our wants and desires. Like you can give money whatever meaning you want and you don’t have to let other people’s ideas about money dictate what you think and believe about money. Just be careful because if you do adopt other people’s ideals and you don’t really want to, you’re still going to create that result. So a lot of people in the personal finance space are really frugal.
And at first I thought that I had to be frugal too. So I lived in this crappy apartment to cut my expenses to pay off more debt and like, you know, everyone around me would have said, that’s like a great idea, that’s fine. But I will tell you, once I started learning about the having and making money mindsets, everything changed.
I moved out of that crappy apartment. I was like, I’m not frugal and I don’t want to be frugal and I’m going to make a lot of money and I’m going to have a lot of money and I’m going to like my money. And it takes a lot of courage and commitment and conviction to think this way and I want to encourage you to do that. If that’s what you want, you have my permission, it will serve you well.
If you are honest about what you want for your future with money, there is no way you are going to create a six figure business or a seven figure business and work three days a week. If you are over here saying, well I just want to be frugal and comfortable like the universe or God or the world or whatever is not going to give you the value that you really want if you are not expressing it and thinking it and feeling it and believing it so you got to get comfortable with it and over time it gets easier.
So it’s really funny. I will talk about making like $2 to $3 million a year as my like business goals longterm and like as if it’s just like a fact and when anyone says like, Oh, how’s that going to be possible or are you really sure you can do that and just work three days a week or whatever. Like I am so defensive, I like cut them off. I’m like, yes, I am sure. Thank you very much. It’s funny and I don’t take it seriously right?
Because literally everyone in the world can be like, yeah, you can’t do that. And I’d be like, okay, well I don’t believe you. So you really got to get confident about what you are believing and be honest with yourself about what you want because that is how you get it. Because what you think is going to cause what you feel and what you feel is going to cause how you act and how you act is going to cause the results in your life.
So if you think that you should have a certain amount of money, then that’s the amount that you will have. If you believe that you should live very frugally, then you will live very frugally. If you think that you can make a ton of money work three days a week, then you will make a ton of money and work three days a week. If you like having money, then you will treat your money well and you will hold onto your money and you will have more of it.
I think the having money mindset is one of the most underrated mindsets because we don’t emphasize it in our culture and it’s such a mistake because it’s so foundational for everything else. So I really want to encourage you to think about your relationship with money. Log into your bank account and practice this daily. Decide intentionally what you want your relationship with money to be like and then practice the thoughts and feelings that get you there. You can join my seven day Money Mindset training nataliebacon.com//money-mindset-training. So go out there and like having a bunch of money. All right, I’ll see you next week. Bye bye.
Thank you for listening to the Design Your Dream Life podcast. Subscribe to the podcast to get the latest episodes sent directly to you. To learn more about designing your dream life visit NatalieBacon.com.