For the goal you want to achieve most, what is the main emotion driving you?
This is what I call Goal Fuel.
Your Goal Fuel is what determines whether you’ll stick it out and achieve long term success.
If you’re driven by scarcity (lack, stress, deprivation), even if you take the right actions, you’re not going to be successful long term because you’ll want to slow down or quit (stress doesn’t feel good, after all!).
If you’re driven from abundance emotions (love, commitment, excitement), that’s what you’ll create more of. You’ll keep going through all the ups and downs and you’ll be wildly successful.
In this episode, I show you how how to identify and create new Goal Fuel so you can be successful long term in any area of your life.
Here are my favorite resources to go along with this podcast:
- The Best Indicator Of Long Term Success (blog post)
- Direction vs. Intention (podcast)
- How To Predict Your Future (blog post)
- How To Set Goals (podcast)
- How To Create A 5 Year Plan (blog post)
- Dream Year: How To Accomplish Your #1 Goal This Year And Feel Good Doing It (book + workbook)
- Personal Development Free Course (free training)
- Personal Development For Her (course)
Full Episode Transcript
Welcome to the Design Your Dream Life podcast where it’s all about designing your life on your terms and now your host, Natalie Bacon.
Hello, my beautiful, amazing, lovely friend. If no one has told you that you are beautiful today, I just want to let you know that you’re gorgeous. Absolutely beautiful and I really, really mean that. I want to start with just a little announcement. Now I’m going to do a whole podcast on this but I can’t help but mention it here because I get a lot of emails from readers and listeners and I love them and I read them all and a lot of them are telling me things that just are a certain way based on labels and I just want to offer to you that if a label is not serving you stop saying it out loud.
I just got an email from someone and she was asking about Grow You and whether it would be a good fit for her. And she said as if it were a fact. Well, I’m a Virgo and I’m a perfectionist. And I’m like thinking to myself, let’s not take astrology and use labels that will not allow us to change. Now I am all for a little funny post on Instagram about astrology, right? It’s super fun I think and entertaining, but let’s get serious here. I want you to have everything you want and if you keep labeling yourself something that isn’t serving you, you’re quite literally going to continue to create more of that. So just drop all the labels that aren’t serving you. Okay?
Today we are not going to talk about that at all. We are going to talk about goal fuel, which is a new concept that I created and I’m so, so excited to share it with you because I think it’s going to be like the secret sauce to you accomplishing your goals, whatever that is. So it could be a money goal, a business goal, a relationship goal, a weight loss goal, a career goal, whatever goal that you are working on right now, or if you just think about your life, whatever you want to be different in the future, think about that as your goal, and I want to introduce this concept to you called goal fuel.
So something I teach in Money Mindset For Her is that when you log into your bank account, how you feel right away based on what you’re thinking, but you’ll have a feeling I think that matters more than that dollar amount that’s in the account because it’s what you’re going to create more of and it is just a reflection of what you think about your money. And I’ve really honed in on how this works with money and I’ve taught it a lot with respect to money, but I want to take a step back and apply it to all of the goals because it applies to everything, not just money.
So I want you to think about whatever it is that you want. Let’s say you want to lose 50 pounds. That goal that you have is going to be fueled by a certain emotion, meaning the main emotion that you feel with respect to your goal when you talk about your goal, when you take action on your goal, all of it right is going to determine your long term success. When you are fueled from abundant emotions to pursue your goals, whether that’s excitement or love or determination, whatever the case may be, commitment. I love that one. You don’t get burned out. So a lot of people talk about burnout as if it happens to them. But what’s happening is that you’re thinking thoughts that are creating emotions and you’re describing it as burnout and it’s totally available to you to not do that. So I want you to bring some consciousness to the energy, the feeling that is driving you to pursue your goals.
So when you come from abundance, that is what you will create more of. When you come from scarcity, that is what you will create more of. And I want you to remember that you are 100% of the time in charge of how you feel. I know it seems like things are happening to you, but what’s really happening is that circumstances are happening and then you’re having thoughts about those circumstances. This does not mean that you don’t want to feel negative emotion, but there’s a difference between experiencing discomfort, right? And allowing the negative emotion that’s necessary for the pursuit of your goals versus having that be your goal fuel.
So I talked about two types of discomfort. If you haven’t listened to that episode, go back and listen to it. That episode I talk about how you need to be willing to experience the negative emotion required to move you forward. So I’m really good at experiencing failure and humiliation and rejection. And when I fail now it’s not even a thing. It’s just like I missed the mark and I keep on going, right? It’s not what’s fueling me, okay to pursue my goals. I’m very excited. I’m very committed. I have a lot of love in my heart when it comes to my business, my clients, my students, I have so much fun and those are the emotions that fuel me. So I’m never thinking about slowing down and burning out and taking a break. And that’s a telltale sign if you are being fueled by scarcity and whether you should kind of take a look at what’s going on there.
I hear this a lot from people, especially with businesses. I can tell almost right away if headed in a direction where they’re going to create a lot of long term success. And it’s always based on their emotions and it’s how they talk about their goals. And you can kind of see the energy, you know, and people talk about how they perceive me, which is very excited and having a lot of fun and that compounds. So for you, when you talk about your goal, when you think about your goal, what emotions do you feel? People often will talk about hustling and I think that people use the word and the label hustling in very different ways. So I’ve heard Amy Porterfield talk about hating hustling, especially from her experience working for Tony Robbins. But if you contrast that to someone else talking about hustling, you know, it could just mean going after something with extreme intensity. And I think you can hustle from abundance or from scarcity.
So I used to wake up at 4:00 AM and I would grind out my work for my business and I would work on the weekends during the summer and I didn’t do it from scarcity. I never did it from lack and not enoughness. I always did it from excitement and certainty and commitment and expectation. I wasn’t worried and in fear and in lack and the way that you know this is based on how you feel.
So even when I was tired, I did it from love, right? It’s like I was so committed to hustling during that season and my emotions were from abundance and so I was able to slow down when I hit the six figures and quit my job and moved to Chicago and now I’m settling into that level of success and I still am fueled from abundant emotions, which is why I know without a doubt I’m going to be, you know, a seven figure business owner and why I’m going to be really successful. I don’t think about taking a break and selling my business and all the things that I hear people talk about when I can tell about they’re fueled from scarcity. They’re like looking for a way out, right? Their whole purpose for setting up the business is to get money so that they don’t have to do it anymore. And that is not going to work, right?
I have a friend, and I actually see this with a lot of students who come from scarcity and they’re hustling and the emotion driving the hustle is worry and fear and lack, and it’s like not enoughness. And even if they take actions that move them forward, their success doesn’t compound and deep down they are like yearning for a break and to slow down and stop. So it’s not the hustling, it’s the motivation, it’s the feeling. It’s the fuel behind the hustling.
So I want you to think about what your goal fuel is. What is the emotion driving the action that you’re taking in pursuit of your goals? So we’re so used to focusing on the action, which is necessary. If you just think and learn passively, you’re not going to take action and you won’t get the results. But if you only focus on the action and you ignore the feelings, you can take action from scarcity and that is going to be draining and exhausting and it will not serve you long term. So take this as an opportunity. Learn this concept and really apply it in your life.
So you’re gonna be able to identify the main emotion that’s fueling you in the pursuit of the action you’re taking towards your goals. But I do want to give you a few emotions that I kind of use in terms of abundance and scarcity. But the main indicator, whether you’re in abundance or scarcity, is whether it feels good or not. So if the main goal fuel driving you, the main emotion driving you is something that feels bad, then you’re probably in scarcity. Now remember, I’m not talking about setting a goal and missing the mark and then allowing that sort of rejection or failure to be present. That is different, that is necessary. That’s that deliberate discomfort, the willingness to experience the negative emotion. That’s different than what you’re proactively choosing to think about and feel in the day to day pursuit of your goals.
So if it feels positive, then it’s from abundance. So some emotions, abundant emotions would be like love, you know, committed, determined, excited, certain, curious or passionate. And then some of the scarcity emotions would be fear, lack, worry, self-pity, stress and deprivation. I would say most often I see worry and stress come up in terms of scarcity. And if you’re constantly worried and stressed and that is what’s fueling you to pursue your goals, that is a huge problem because that’s what you’re going to create more of and you’re not going to succeed long term. You’re going to want to take a break, you’re going to want to quit, right? And it makes sense. Who wants to sit in stress forever, if that’s what you’re feeling in the pursuit of your goals.
There’s also sometimes this kind of low grade disappointment that some new goal setters will feel when they’re setting really big goals and they haven’t stepped into taking really any action. So the goal seems so far away and like an impossibility so the main emotion kind of driving any action at all is sort of disappointment or self pity. It’s like that loathing and I want you to notice that and regardless of how small your actions are forward, it matters a lot what is fueling that action.
So I want you to practice coming from love and commitment, right? And excitement. Like I have fun every day. I’m so serious every single day when I work, I have a lot of fun. Now, yes, things happen when you know I miss the m. ark or you know, I don’t have a launch that goes according to plan or whatever the case may be. Yes, of course. But that’s different than the main emotion fueling me in the pursuit of a seven figure business. Like this is just for fun. That’s what I do. You know, I have fun in my business and it’s how I want to serve the world, right? It’s really a privilege to me. I love it so much and that’s how I know I’ll be successful because that’s what’s driving me. If stress or worry or self pity was driving me, I would probably quit because that doesn’t feel good.
Now notice that your goal fuel is slightly different than your why. So your why could be something really strong and solid, but you could have another thought that produces scarcity. So you could, you know, really want to make money online to provide financial freedom for your family. Like that’s a really strong why. However, if your main thought about that is I have to make this happen or else we are not going to have enough money and then your going to be fueled by lack and that is scarcity and it’s going to compound and it’s not sustainable and you’re not going to be successful long term, even if you get some short term success because you’re always chasing the next thing, you’re going to get burnt out and you’re going to want to quit and it’s just not sustainable.
So what I want you to do is think about what is the emotion fueling the action that you’re taking to pursue your goals. I want you to bring awareness to what that feeling is right now and then also what you want that feeling to be. So I want you to see where you’re at and notice if you’re in this like low grade disappointment or if you’re in stress and take ownership of that without beating yourself up. So let’s say your main emotion driving you is stress, I want you to lean in and figure out why. I’m sure you have a really good reason or else your brain wouldn’t be creating that emotion through your thinking. You might be thinking thoughts like, I’m so worried this is never going to happen, or whatever the case may be. Lean in and ask yourself, what am I thinking and why am I thinking it? What am I thinking that’s causing the emotion of stress? Why am I thinking that? Is that serving me long term? No. Okay, what do I want to feel instead?
And if you’re used to feeling scarcity and that scarcity is what’s fueling you, it’s going to be very foreign and awkward for you to feel abundant emotions. But it’s worth the time and energy and effort to practice these new emotions. So get really good at practicing feeling love and commitment and slowing down, right? And stopping worrying. And when you get really good at that, you can step into more success and create more from abundance. And ask yourself, what thoughts do you need to think to create the emotion you want and think to yourself, what is being committed feel like? What does love feel like? Right? So many people aren’t used to feeling loved toward their money, toward their business, toward their goals. And I think it is the most underrated emotion when it comes to love and business and goal setting because from love you lean in and you create more love. And it feels so, so good.
So I’m really clear about the emotions that are fueling me. And so I’m not rocked by much. Even when I experience a lot of negative emotion in my business, I never let it mean anything about my long term success. I’m really good at practicing feeling failure or rejection and it just doesn’t mean as much as it used to because I’ve gotten really good at experiencing those necessary negative emotions and I can focus on the goal fuel of having fun, being committed, feeling love, and leaning into the process of creating my business. I am all in with my business no matter what. That’s what creates that feeling of being committed.
I love my business and my students and my clients so much. I love this and that’s what creates the feeling of love for me. And because of that, I don’t overwork. I’m not on the road to being burned out. I feel really great and excited every day. I feel like I’m literally living the dream and I want you to feel that way too. I’m not saying that from a place of, oh, I get to do whatever I want. Like I work y’all. I work. I like it though. And I want you to practice feeling intentional emotions so that you can fuel, right, and create the emotional energy that is needed for you to have long term success.
It doesn’t have to be with money or with an online business. This is true for meeting someone. I hear people talk about dating like they want to meet the right person and it’s kind of with the energy of like this low grade disappointment that it’s not going to happen and I want to offer to you that it really matters how you talk about your goal because that’s just a reflection of how you’re thinking about it and how you’re feeling about it. Even if, and maybe especially if, you’re kind of passive, aggressively joking or being sarcastic, that’s what’s really in your heart and so even if your results don’t change I want to offer to you that maybe you could just change your thoughts about it and say you’re going to take it a little more seriously and come from some abundant emotion so you have that right goal fuel so that you will move forward.
Because once you have those intentional thoughts and the feelings, I want you to practice them. Practice feeling how you want to feel to fuel your goals. It’s going to feel very awkward at first. You’re going to need to use your imagination and visualize and be there. But if this is foreign to you, that’s okay. Keep doing it until it becomes normal.
It’s not like I graduated law school, it’s all the student loan debt and was like, oh, I’m in abundance with starting an online business and I’m going to be, you know, this six figure or seven figure entrepreneur. No, of course not. I started from where I was and I worked on it a little bit every single day and then I started to have fun and got really excited and then that compounded and then I believed in my own possibility and then that compounded and I never let any of the failures mean anything. Right?
Someone else is doing it, you know, 10 times to the level of what I’m doing. Why not me? Right? Why not you for losing the weight, meeting the guy, you having the family, you know, making $1 million. But it has to be based on your fuel, your goal fuel. So decide every day what you want to think and feel based on the result that you want for your own success. Because I’m telling you the greatest indicator of your long term success is going to be the emotion fueling the action, not the action itself. All right. Practice this and let me know how it goes, I will talk to you next week. Bye bye.
It’s Thank you for listening to the Design Your Dream Life podcast. Subscribe to the podcast to get the latest episodes sent directly to you. To learn more about designing your dream life visit NatalieBacon.com.