Body love

I used to hate my legs.

I thought they were terrible. I thought I had big thighs.

I didn’t wear shorts or dresses.

I was embarrassed about my legs.

The funny thing is that all this thinking was totally optional.

It wasn’t until I recently did so much work on my mindset about my body that I realized this.

Do you beat yourself up about your body?

As women we do this, and it’s a huge problem that can lead to creating unnecessary pain and suffering in your life.

The solution isn’t to change your circumstances. It’s not to change how you look or how much you weigh. The solution is to rewire your brain and think differently. The solution is to love your body unconditionally.

In this episode, I teach you how to love your body from having enough, and from there, set and achieve impossible body goals.

Here are some of my favorite resources to go along with this episode:

Full Episode Transcript

Welcome to the Design Your Dream Life podcast where it’s all about designing your life on your terms and now your host, Natalie Bacon.

Hello, my lovely, beautiful, friend. Emphasis on beautiful because today we are gonna talk about your body. I haven’t really talked a lot about physical health on this podcast yet, but it is a component of Grow You and it’s so important to your life that you have an amazing relationship with your body and on top of that I recently did this work with my own body and in my own mind and I’ve had some really fun, incredible results that I am just really excited to share with you so that you can get those results in your life too.

And it’s not something that you need to listen to if you want to change your body or you know if you think that you need to lose weight, like you can be totally fine with how your body is right now and you will still get a ton of value from this episode. What we are going to be diving into is your relationship with your body. And I think that most people either have a negative relationship with their body or they’re kind of indifferent and they’re unconscious to what their relationship is with their body.

And what I want to do is teach you how to bring consciousness to your relationship with your body, which means becoming aware of how you think about your body so that you can practice unconditional love. So I think that when you learn how to love unconditionally, your world explodes. Because like I’ve said, where you start from is where you end. So if you start from having unconditional love, that is where you’ll create more of it.

So I love the analogy with money here. I love my money. I don’t really like giddy and excited thinking about my money and having money. And it’s not from a place of greed or insecurity. It’s from a place of having enough. Even if I don’t, you know, hit a revenue goal, let’s say like it’s not about the dollar amount, it’s about my thoughts with respect to my money and I love coaching on money for this reason. So it’s so easy to show people their minds when they have a money problem or when they have a weight loss problem, they want to lose weight and it’s all starts with the mind. So today I want to do it with your body. It’s kind of like you want new and different results in your life and you’re really not sure how to get them and you want to know the how.

But it’s knowing that it’s a mindset change that happens first and then doing the how. And if you can see how this works with your body in something that maybe you haven’t really been thinking about or don’t necessarily want to change, you’ll actually have such greater awareness that you can apply this to things in your life.

I think that’s one of the best byproducts of doing this body love work is that you will see that your relationship to your body will likely mirror your relationship to something else. The same is true with money. It’s like very unlikely that someone is in abundance and having enoughness in many areas of their life and then coming from total lack and scarcity in another area.

Why? Because it’s a thought pattern. So the way that your mind works with respect to thinking about something, in this case, your body will likely be how your mind relates to something else. So let’s take you know how you think about your body. Let’s say it’s never enough. You wish it were different. You don’t like your legs, you wish you didn’t weigh as much, and you’re constantly comparing your body to someone else’s body or the model’s body or the bodies you see on Instagram, right?

That thought patterning is likely showing up in other areas. Your money’s not enough. You wish you had more. You um, complain about your money, you compare your money, or it could be the same with respect to a person. That person’s not enough. You wish they were more, you want more from them. So the reason that I want to talk about body love is because first of all you’ll learn to love your body and it’s amazing. But also you’ll get better at practicing the skill of unconditional love. When you do this, you can apply it to other areas in your life like money and people and all the things it’s super fun to do.

So I want to start kind of thinking about your body in terms of two different parts. I want you to think about the facts about your body and then I want you to think about your thoughts about your body. So I’m always coaching like this. I’m bringing awareness to the facts, which are the circumstances which are provable in a court of law, which are, you know, like everyone would agree on, there’s no drama in them, there’s no opinions. Your thoughts is all the drama and the opinions. Kay?

So examples of facts would be like you have a head, you have two arms, you have two legs, you have a heart, you weigh a certain amount. When you get on the scale, okay, that number, that’s the math of it. Circumstances or facts do not cause emotion. They are neutral. Now if I say to you, you have two thighs and you get charged with emotion, that is because you have a thought about your thighs. It might be, I wish my thighs were smaller or I don’t like my thighs. Whatever that thought is. That’s what triggers the emotion and thoughts remember are completely optional.

You get to think whatever you want to think, and I say that because it’s funny when I coach people, it’s like they’re like, yeah, yeah, I get it, but how do I change my thighs? You know? It’s kind of like, okay, enough of that, but it’s true and it’s where all of the work is. Because when you change your thinking and when you change your thought patterns and you form new neuro pathways, you will learn to love and have enough.

Then you go for it. Then you set and achieve impossible goals. Because where you start from is where you end from. If you want to lose weight, I want you to learn to love the body that you have and treat it with the utmost respect and then lose the weight from a place of love. Because let me tell you, and you probably know people like this, they lose the weight from a place of hate and willpower and then they’re skinny and then they still hate themselves, right?

They’re like, am I too skinny? Look at my arms in this photo. Right? And it’s, it’s exhausting being around them. It’s like the thoughts that they have have not changed. And when you understand thought work and how the mind works, this makes total sense. So what I want you to do, regardless of whether you want to lose weight or whether you just want to stay the exact same, or whether you just want to grow in terms of physicality, which is kind of where I am, I don’t necessarily want to lose weight, but I do want to get more toned and strengthen my muscles. But I want to do that from a place of enoughness, from a place of loving my legs. Okay. I’ve talked about that. I used to hate my legs.

Can I just take a side note for a minute and go off on a tangent? I used to not even wear shorts. I used to not wear skirts. I had so much negative drama, so many negative thoughts about my legs. And it’s funny when I started doing this work on my body, I just decided to stop thinking those thoughts. It’s funny because it’s an area of my life where I don’t really set and achieve impossible goals because that’s just not something I’m focused on right now with my body.

But I didn’t notice that my relationship to my body was still really negative and that I was being ridiculous and not wearing shorts or you know, nice skirts and whatever the case may be. And now I just dropped it. I dropped those thoughts because sometimes it’s easy to drop thoughts, sometimes it’s not. And you have to do a lot more thought work, right? So let’s say you want to lose 50 pounds or a hundred pounds and you have a lot of negative thoughts about your body, and this has been a pain point for you for years. So you’ve been practicing and strengthening that neural pathway of negative thoughts about your body. Then it might take you to coach yourself more and do a lot more thought work about your body.

Okay, so I’m not sure where you are on the spectrum, only you know that, but it might just be that you didn’t realize you didn’t have awareness to, the thoughts that you were thinking so that you can just drop them like I did. Or you might have to coach yourself and move from these scarcity, really negative thoughts to more positive, abundant thoughts. And before you do that, I want you to think about your body as totally neutral. The size, the shape, the color, your hair, all of it. It’s neutral and your body doesn’t have thoughts about it. Only you do. This it sounds kind of meta, but it was really, really powerful for me. So I wanted to include it. I remember thinking, Oh yeah, my legs don’t hate my legs only I hate my legs, like my legs just are.

It’s kind of funny when you think about it this way and you’re like, why am I being so mean to my legs? It’s just unnecessary and it doesn’t help me get the result I want. Because here’s the thing, you can use willpower. A lot of people do this with extreme dieting and why people say diets don’t work. They work. But you beat yourself up into doing them. And what I want you to do is clean up your mind and your thoughts and love yourself from a place of having enough and from a place of gratitude and appreciation and that unconditional love. And then from there, if you want to change, you can do it because I’ve seen people do it the other way and it’s horrible.

It’s first of all a train wreck to watch, but also there’s no love on the other side, right? If you hate your body now, whatever goal you’re setting in the getting of it, you will still hate your body on the other side. Assuming you don’t, you know, do some sort of mindset work with it, okay? Just losing the weight, changing the facts of your body does not change your thoughts about your body. There are different, okay? Now you will say, but I feel better when I am dressed up, right? I did an episode about that and showing up for yourself. That’s true. But that’s because you’re having different thoughts. So if you are treating your body badly and you’re not showing up and you’re rolling out of bed and you’re thinking thoughts, Ugh, I don’t want to get dressed today. I don’t care. I don’t really like the way my legs look.

That’s going to create feelings that are negative and that’s how you’re going to show up. And that’s what you’re going to create more of. If you show up for yourself and take care of your body and get dressed at the size that your body is and you decide to think, you know, I love my body and I look good. Those are going to create feelings from abundance, from love and confidence, whatever the feelings are. And I want to remind you that regardless of the facts, regardless of the circumstances of your body, you get to think whatever you want about your body. It’s just going to create more of that. It’s going to create a neural pathway that is going to be strengthened, and all of your thoughts are optional.

So I want you to think about your thoughts about your body, okay? Your relationship with your body is simply your thoughts about it, and you can decide to have that relationship be abundant and amazing, which I highly recommend. The experience of your life will be so much better if you do it this way. The alternative is to not do it this way and to hate yourself and create more of that.

So I want you to think about how you think about your body. What is your relationship with your body like? Are you nice to it? Are you kind to it? Are you indifferent? Right. So I think on the one end of the spectrum there are going to be some of you who think really, really negative thoughts about your body. And then there are some of you who are just going to notice that you’re kind of indifferent about your body. You eat whatever you want, the fried food, the lots of sugar, you put things in your body and you’re not really thinking about the thoughts you have about your body and how you treat your body is going to affect what you create more of in the future.

So notice if you’re judgmental, are you mean to your body? Do you always compare it to someone else’s body? Whether that’s someone in your personal life or someone like a celebrity or a model or something like that. I want you to think about the judgments that you have. And then I want you to do my favorite thing, which is to ask yourself if your body could talk, just kind of funny to think about the body. Just is if your body could talk, what would it say about your relationship to it? Would it say that you treat it well? Would it say that you take care of it? Would it say that you love it right? Or would it say that you are mean and you come from a place of not enoughness?

It’s really important to think about. I think that most of us are pretty mean to our bodies. We wish it were different. Or we’ll say things like, Oh, I wish I could have my, you know, 18 year old body, right? Or we’ll say things like, Oh my arms are too flabby, or something like that. And we compare ourselves in a way that creates more of that. And I just want you to know that it really matters because when you can get really good at practicing unconditional love and loving your body, that’s what you’ll create more of.

I think we beat ourselves up and we beat up from a place of judgment and negativity and there’s just no upside. So I want you to know that I want you to set goals for your physical health. Whether that’s losing weight or getting in shape or whatever the case may be. I think that is some of the best work that you can do, but I want you to do it from a place of love, right?

Something that helped me when I was doing this work was to think the thought other people’s bodies are none of my business. I love that. It’s like when you’re comparing or you’re looking at other people’s bodies, right? That’s how we’re getting a sense of how to make judgements about our own. So depending on the year or the decade or the style and kind of society’s standards, we will think thoughts about ourselves.

So at one point being really fair skinned and pale was the utmost beauty, right? It was that you could be inside and you didn’t have to be outside working. Contrast that to now when kind of having some sort of bronze glow or darker tan skin is kind of idolized and looked upon. And you know, I’ve caught myself saying, Oh, I wish I were tanner. But instead what I want you to do is notice that and remember that other people’s bodies are none of your business and to love your skin and to love your body.

And from there say, okay, I love my body, I love the color of my skin and I think I could add some, you know, self-tanner to it and that would be fine. I think I would like that. That’s different than saying, ugh, I’m not tan enough and I don’t look good when I’m this pale. There’s like a different energy behind it. And that’s what you’re gonna create more of because you’re gonna have the either negative or positive thought and then you’re gonna have the either negative or positive emotion. And then those emotions are going to be what determine how you take action and what type of action and then you are gonna get a result for you in your life.

And it might just be that you continue to hate your body and beat yourself up, which is a horrible way to experience the world. So think about whether you’re in scarcity or abundance with respect to how you treat your body. And if you are in negativity and scarcity, I like to come up with some neutral thoughts that you can practice. And one of the go to neutral thoughts is just I have a body, okay, I have a body is very neutral and it is not as loaded as I hate my body or I wish my body were different. How about just going to, I have a body, right? I like to think sometimes bodies are kind of weird and that’s okay.

I have hyperlinear palms, which my brother told me that’s what it’s called. And it means that my hands are a little bit rougher. It’s like beginning symptom of acute dermatitis, which just basically means I have drier skin. Okay. So I, instead of focusing on, I have hyperlinear palms and I wish that my palms were different or I wished my hands were different. I can think the thought, yeah, bodies are kind of weird and that’s okay. To me that just feels better.

Now I’m offering to you neutral thoughts, but they have to be neutral to you. So you have to test it and think the thought and notice how it feels for you. If you think the thought bodies are kind of weird and that makes you feel some sort of negative emotion, then don’t use it. I also like to think the thought, I’m really glad I have a body. So isn’t it crazy to think about that the alternative to not having a body is just either never having been born or being dead. It’s getting morbid, but you like your soul, your being could not exist without a body, right? So you are not your body. If you’ve lost a leg or a limb or something like that, you still exist.

And now this gets into a lot of philosophy and religion, right? Like what makes you you? But for purposes of this podcast, let’s just go with there’s you and your soul and then there’s your body and you, your soul could not exist without a body. So I kind of think it’s awesome that out of all the odds of even getting a body that you did get one, like I got a body that’s kind of great. Yes, it’s kind of weird. And yes, I have hyperlinear palms and that’s okay. Like I get a body, I’m glad. I want to keep my body and when I come from this place, I’m coming from abundance and it makes me appreciate having my body.

Now it doesn’t mean that sometimes someone with, you know, banging legs as I would call it walks by and I don’t notice it. But now I’ve practiced so much and what I immediately do is say other people’s legs are none of my business.

So if it’s legs for you or if it’s stomach or if you’re constantly in comparison trap, think about that, right? And think about if you want to treat your body so much better. I know someone who is very thin and has struggled with weight for years back and forth, and she is really mean to her body. And I’ve noticed that I don’t really have a lot of judgments about other people’s bodies. Like if someone would say I want to lose a hundred pounds or someone is underweight or overweight, whatever the case may be, I’m just not noticing it a lot because I try to stay out of other people’s business with their bodies. And I noticed that I’m kind of a rarity. There are a lot of people who will ask me opinions like my friend, Oh do I look too overweight or too thin in this photo?

And I have to like go there. And I’m like, what? No, I don’t know. I don’t even think that when I look at this photo, I think about how beautiful you are. And I just want you to know that that’s available to you. And it’s a thought pattern.

So if you’re really stuck in being critical about your body, you are probably really critical in other areas of your life. And I want you to start with your body and I want you to notice your thoughts about your body. So kind of write them down, write down the facts and then write down your thoughts about the facts. I just uploaded a new bonus course in Grow You and it’s called Change Your Eating Habits Forever. And I talk about in there how I think it’s really valuable to weigh yourself. Because what other coaches will do is they will say, don’t weigh yourself. Avoid the drama.

I say weigh yourself because that number on the scale is just a circumstance. Weigh yourself get on the scale and then bring awareness to all the drama. What are you making that number mean? Those are your thoughts and that is the key to changing your relationship with your body. So write down the facts and the circumstances and then write down all of your thoughts and just be curious, right?

Don’t beat yourself up about beating yourself up. Please be nice and be curious and compassionate and come from a place of no judgment. So this would look like, Oh, that’s so interesting. When I write down my weight, I have all of these thoughts that are really negative. I wonder why? You have a really good reason for it, right? You’re gonna find that it’s because you want to lose weight. And what I want you to do is say, okay, well I want to lose weight, but I want to love myself through it. Because where you start from is where you end.

I want to add one more layer to this and I want you to notice your thoughts about your body when you are experiencing any type of discomfort. And I want you to notice if you’re kind or not. So kind. And this could be discomfort from a feeling which would be caused by your thoughts, or it could be discomfort caused by something external to you, which would be a sensation.

So the easy example is I feel happy or sad that is caused by my thinking, right? The thinking is causing me to feel either happy or sad as sensation is caused from outside of you. So it’s like, you know, being really hot or really cold. What I notice for myself is that when I am sick, when I am tired or when I am working out, my thinking is sloppy.

And it’s important for you to notice this because you can strengthen your mindset and you can not make the discomfort of some sort of sensation, so miserable and you’ll grow in that as well. So I noticed that when I’m sick, I literally have thoughts like I’m gonna die. It’s ridiculous the way I treat myself when I’m sick. So now I notice this and now I am learning how to love my body and know that it’s going to be okay even when I’m sick and basically just be nicer to my body when I’m sick.

The same is true in a very subtle way. When I’m tired, when I’m tired, my thinking is sloppy. And you know what? I just kind of cut myself off and I’m like, I’m just tired. I’m not going to beat myself up now just because I’m tired and it’s a little bit of decision fatigue and I’m going to try to be nicer and kinder to myself and maybe go to bed early.

I’ve noticed this recently with working out my body right will actually be okay mid workout but I will want a break anyways. I heard this in one of my classes. I love like the inspiration that comes from workout classes. The teachers who are really good will be really inspiring and one of my teachers at one of my classes said recently, does your body need a break or do you just want a break? And I was like, Oh my gosh, that was everything. Right. Does the physical being of your body genuinely need a break or are you just thinking that you want a break? They are not the same and I would say 9 times out of 10 for me, I am thinking that I want a break. So now I know that ahead of time and there’s value in that. There’s awareness. So now I’m going into my workouts with some thoughts that I can practice when the workout gets hard, right?

This is making me stronger and I can do hard things. I want my muscles to tear. I want this to feel painful because then that means I am growing. Okay? So notice this about you with respect to sensations and respect to feelings. When you are experiencing fear or failure or um, you know, overwhelm or when you are being rejected. Do you practice thoughts like I can do rejection, I can experience failure, I can experience humiliation? Or are you running from it? Avoiding it thinking there’s a problem. So I want you to notice that how you experience emotion and sensations is going to be based on how you’re talking to yourself. And it’s going to be based on your thought patterns.

So for loving your body, I want you to love your body unconditionally, regardless of the circumstances, regardless of, you know, the facts of it, regardless of how much you weigh, regardless of, you know, what color skin you have, regardless of the type of hair you have, regardless of if you are sick. And have a cold or if you’re tired or if you just want to have goals to change your body, I just want you to do it from a place of unconditional love.

Can you be kind and patient and loving when you are sick and tired? Can you be kind and loving and have abundant thoughts about your body when you know that you have goals to change your body. So I love practicing really abundant thoughts and depending where you are on the spectrum here, you may or may not be able to jump to that. So if you’re in kind of body thoughts, scarcity and you have all these negative thoughts, you’re going to need to move to neutral thoughts like I have a body, bodies are weird and that’s okay. I haven’t liked my body in the past but I’m gonna change that. You’re gonna have to move to more neutral thoughts and practice those.

But if you are coming from a place of indifference or just that you are kind of neutral about your body right now and want to practice loving it because there are so many byproducts of that. Just coming from unconditional love. You’ll learn how to practice that more and you’ll have more of that in your life. I love thinking really abundant thoughts. Like I love my body, I love my nails, I love my hair, I love my stomach, right? I like my legs. I can’t get to a place of, I love my legs yet, but I, I do really like them and these are my legs and I practice thoughts like I’m so grateful I have two legs. What would my life be like without two legs? Okay, come from where you are and then move a little bit forward on that scarcity to abundance scale so that you can get really good at loving your body.

This in and of itself is life changing and transformational, but it’s also great because it will show you how you think, how your brain has neural pathways with thoughts that you can change with practice and intentionality. You will have a new level of awareness and consciousness to how you’re creating your results with your body in your life. And then you can change from a place of enoughness.

And I just think that learning how to love unconditionally in this one area will help you have more love in your life. When you learn how to have love for yourself and your own body and that love will compound and then you can apply it to other areas of your life. So ask and answer these questions about your relationship with your body and get intentional about how you want to treat your body and what kind of relationship you want to have with it. And then from there, if you want to change it, do that. But first you have to learn how to love your body. And it’s so fun because now I will put on the shortest shorts and skirt and I do not care. I rock them. I have changed my level of confidence with respect to my body so much from doing this work. So I know for sure that it works and that is my hope for you. Start today. All right, I will talk with you next week. Bye bye.

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