I have a new tool to teach you.
It’s called the Alter Ego.
Take any area of your life where you want to improve. Then, create an alter ego for it.
So, let’s say you want to be a better leader in your job.
You choose someone you know is an amazing leader already.
This can be someone famous or someone you know personally.
Then, you practice acting as if you were her when you’re in that role.
The key is to get a clear picture of the characteristics this person has and only use them when you’re in that role.
In this example, you wouldn’t use your leadership Alter Ego in your personal life, you would only use it in your career.
You can do this for everything.
Your business, your personal life, your physical goals, etc.
We all play different roles in our lives, and the key is to be intentional about how you’re showing up in each role.
And there’s even more fun you can have with this.
Like choosing a piece of jewelry to wear while you’re in this role as a reminder of what your intention is.
To get the full scoop on how to apply this to your life, listen to the podcast episode below.
Here are more of my favorite resources for this episode:
- Life Hack: How To Create An Alter Ego (blog post)
- Dream Year: How To Accomplish Your #1 Goal This Year And Feel Good Doing It (book + workbook)
- Mindset Blog Posts (blog posts to read)
- How To Improve Your Mindset (podcast episode)
- Personal Development Free Course (free training)
- Personal Development For Her (course)
Full Episode Transcript
Welcome to the Design Your Dream Life podcast where it’s all about designing your life on your terms and now your host, Natalie Bacon.
I am so excited that you are here with me today we are going to talk about a new tool that I have to share with you. It’s called the alter ego and it is a way for you to get new amazing results in your life. So you know what I teach? It’s that your thoughts create your feelings, your feelings create your actions and your actions create your results.
So if you want new and different results in your life, you have to think in new and different ways because whatever you believe is already creating your reality. So in whatever area of your life that you want different results, you’re going to have to think in a different way. Now you can coach yourself on this and I highly recommend that and practice becoming that person and getting those results. But I just want to introduce a new tool to you called the alter ego.
This is probably not a term you haven’t heard before, but I just want to apply it to this personal development work because I think it’s a game changer. So just last week my friend and colleague and mentor Alex Nerney said, I just read this book. It’s amazing. You have to read it. So I said done. It’s called The Alter Ego Effect by Todd Herman. Great book.
I will say it’s very sports oriented and in my opinion like written for guys that that’s just cause I don’t like sports so I’m totally generalizing there. Just know that ahead of time. It’s a little similar to Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza, which is one of my top favorite books. The way they are written is very different, but there are some underlying concepts that are very similar. So I think The Alter Ego effect is just something to read because it will simplify things for you.
It’s so, so good. And I was already doing this in many ways so I’m super excited to kind of integrate this into what I teach and how I teach it. So an alter ego is a persona that you embody in a specific circumstance to get a specific result. You basically pretend to be someone else you want to be until you eventually become that person in the area of your life, but you’re not really like faking it.
And you probably have done this right? We’ve all kind of tried on different personalities in a way, you may have not thought of it this way, but we’re doing it all the time. Right? When I first started my business, I would do this a lot and now like that’s just who I am. But now that I’ve come up with this, it’s been super fun to be really intentional about who I’m being in each role of my life.
The reason that you have an alter ego and you create an alter ego in a certain area of your life, it’s because there’s one area in your life where you want to focus on where you want to get better results than what you’re getting right now. You do it in each area like as you need, right?
So I love the example of Beyonce when I was reading this book. I’m so glad he talked about Beyonce cause it was the first person I thought of, but he gives tons of examples of people he’s coached to do it. And also athletes who have talked about this in the media. So Beyonce is such a good example. I don’t know if you know, but she grew up singing in the church and very Christian household. So when she started performing pop, she had to dance kind of in a provocative way that was just so foreign to her personality.
So she created the alter ego, Sasha Fierce. And when she was on stage she was Sasha Fierce and she was so comfortable dancing in that way. And she talks about it, read her interviews. It’s so interesting to see how she talks about it. And then years later, actually kind of recently she talked about how she no longer needs Sasha Fierce.
And I think this is just such a good illustration of how you can use an alter ego when you’re quote unquote performing in an area of your life that’s not like necessarily your natural personality that you’ve trained and become really comfortable in. So it’s going to be common that you’re going to have one area where it’s super easy for you to be a certain way and then less easy for you to be a different way. I love to think about the eight life categories of health, relationships, money, career and business, personal, religious, spiritual development, environment and space, like your home, fun and then contribution.
So whatever area of your life where you’re not getting the results that you want, consider creating an alter ego. And the key is to identify how you’re showing up in all the areas of your life first and then choose the alter ego for the role where you’re not showing up enough. So you just want to be really aware and I think we’re so fluid in our lives and that’s great, but you may not even realize that you’re showing up as one person in all of your roles and that may not be serving you.
So let’s say you’re really good as the friend and wife and you’re really, really good at relationships and you’re soft and you’re a good listener and you are, you know, really in your feminine energy and that’s amazing and it serves you really well in your personal life. Well, if you’re starting an online business and you have to be really structured and produce a lot and come up with a way to make money and you basically have to be the CEO boss in your life and you’re bringing in all of this feminine energy to it, it’s going to be like unnecessarily challenging.
So you want to notice that, okay, now I’m switching roles and now I’m going to try on this new alter ego so I can get more comfortable in this role where I’m the CEO and I’m the business owner. It’s just being really honest about how you’re showing up in each area and whether you’re doing it intentionally so that you don’t show up and bring the exact same energy to each area of your life, right?
I don’t want to show up the same as I show up in my business as I do in like yoga class or with my girlfriends, right? And I know this and I knew this, but simplifying it in this way has made it so much more intentional for me. So I’m hoping it does the same for you. So I want you to just become aware of how you’re showing up in each area of your life and also notice the story that you’re telling yourself about yourself because that story is going to create your reality.
So if you say, I am shy and I just can’t sell a lot, or I am just not going to be good at public speaking, that’s a story you’re telling yourself and that’s how you’re showing up, right? If you have that story and then you do speak at all, you’re just going to create more evidence for that cause you’re going to have that thought. It’s going to create the feeling of insecurity and you don’t want to be doing this and then you’re not going to do well and you’re going to create more evidence for the fact that you think you’re shy and just not good at it.
What I want you to do instead is practice new thoughts that create new feelings for you. And the way you can do that is to come up with an alter ego and you would pick someone who is extroverted and loves speaking, and you do that. And then you practice putting on that alter ego when you’re quote unquote performing. So you don’t just, you know, embody that rule all the time. You just do it when you’re in that role, in that area of your life. So I want you to think about the area where you want a new indifferent outcome.
You know, maybe you want to do this more in your business and with your money or maybe you want it more in your personal life, it’s probably going to be pretty obvious in which area that you want to improve. But you can pick any area where you want different results then what you’re getting and you need to figure out how you want to show up and who you want to show up as. Now when you’re doing this, I want to make sure you do not beat yourself up. It’s just not useful.
So when you go kind of digging and you figure out how you’re showing up and maybe you’re showing up as like the friend and the soft spoken flowy wife and you’re showing up that way in your business, I don’t want you to beat yourself up over it. It’s just not useful. I want you to just notice it and decide intentionally that now you’re going to create this alter ego for this area of your life where you want to increase your results.
And then I want you to decide on exactly what results that you want. So this is kind of called end in mind thinking. And I think the most successful people do this. It’s really, really easy to know where you want freedom from. It’s Dan Sullivan’s words, freedom from versus freedom to. So you might not like your job, you might not like how much you work, you might not like how much money you make.
It’s really easy to see and identify what you want freedom from. But it’s a little bit harder for some people to see what you want freedom to. So where you’re going, right, you want to go away from one thing, but where do you want to go towards?
The more that you practice, like where you wanna go, the easier this gets because you’ll become more future-focused. So I’m really future focused. I like never think about my past. I have some people who will say to me like, it’s just so amazing to me. Like you never talk about being an attorney, never talk about it. And I’m like, yeah, yes. Course. Like why would I, you know? And it’s not because I’m anything against that time, it’s just, it’s just done. The chapter is complete, but you’ll notice this if you get around other people, they will spend so much time talking about their past successes or their like past chapters in their lives.
And there’s nothing wrong with reminiscing and feeling proud of your accomplishments. I think that’s amazing. But you’ve got to get in the habit of knowing where you’re going towards. Like where do you want to create in the future. So get in the habit of that and start to ask yourself questions that will help you identify what you want in that area of your life.
So what do you want to continue? What do you want more of? What do you want to start? I love those questions. So do you wanna start working out? Do you want to start a business? Do you want to start investing more? Do you want to just be more confident? Do you want to feel you’re loved and appreciated? Do you want to continue cooking every night? Do you want to continue building your online business? Get really clear about what you want freedom from and what you want freedom to and in which area of your life because then you can do the work and you can create the alter ego.
And the way that you do that is you pick an actual person. I think it’s really useful to pick an actual person either in your life or in the media that you can know a lot about. It’s easier to do it this way than if you actually create a fictitious person because even if you don’t know the person, like let’s say your alter ego was Beyonce, even though you don’t personally know Beyonce, you can have an idea in your head of what characteristics Beyonce embodies on stage that you would want to manifest in your life.
So let’s say I was choosing Brooke Castillo, my business mentor and coach for my business alter ego. I do kind of know her personally, but I don’t know her that personally. Like we’re not friends. I know her in a business setting, so I’m not asking her what characteristics she has or traits or anything. I’m just watching her and I know enough about her that I could embody her as my alter ego.
And I want you to come up with one to three traits that you want to focus on when you’re embodying this person. So if it’s, you know, me choosing Brook and my business as my alter ego, it’s like, okay, when I’m in that role, so when I sit down for work for the entire day, I’m going to choose like one to three maybe feelings or traits that I want to embody as her and know that that’s like the time where I am my most aggressive, my most confident, my most determined. I’m very expectant. I’m the CEO, I’m like the boss, and that’s how I want to show up. Like that’s how Brooke shows up. She makes 17 million like I want to make 17 million. Right? So having that attitude where you’re the alter ego during that role and what this does is it gets your brain to start thinking in new and different ways versus not having the alter ego.
And let’s say I was a little uncomfortable running my own business, which is totally not true, but so I don’t need an alter ego in my, in my business, right? I love it. This is like my jam. But let’s just say that you’re starting your business and that’s where you’re not getting the results and you want better results without having an alter ego, you could still do this work and you do the thought work, but it just might be a little bit more challenging for you because you’re trying to come up with, okay, well I need to sit down and I think I need to do this.
And you’re, you’re kind of trying to do the actions, but you’re not showing up with that thought that, okay, I’m the boss today and I’m feeling confident and I’m feeling determined and it might not feel great all day, but I’m going to show up as her, if you do do that, amazing.
But if you don’t, just having the mental note that I’m going to show up as this alter ego will help you get into the habit of being that person when you’re in that role. And you can do this not just for business, so you can do it for your personal life. And what I love is you choose where you struggle.
So people will say, I’m just not an entrepreneur. Like what does that mean? That’s just a story. I didn’t even know what an entrepreneur was five years ago and here I am doing it, so I’m just not a runner. Well, if you want to run a marathon, show up as someone who you know has run multiple marathons, how would they show up? Or I’ve just always struggled with money. So when you show up to do your finances, you’re going to show up as someone who is a boss at their money.
So just be very aware of the story you’re telling yourself and choose that alter ego for an area where you’re struggling. I want to make it clear to you that this is one of my favorite things that I learned that I love about alter egos is that you switch out of that alter ego when you switch the roles. So when I’m done, if I’m being Brooke as my alter ego for the day I’m done working and then I stop and I switch roles.
And so you already do this, so if you’re an executive or you’re in corporate, you show up one way at work and then you go home and you show up a different way to your husband or you show up in different way to your kids and you show up a different way with your girlfriends. Show up a different way when you’re volunteering, you’re already doing this, but it’s less intentional and there’s going to be areas where it’s easier for you and areas where it’s harder and areas where it’s a nonissue, but if you’re not getting the results that you want, then an alter ego is a great way to kind of kick start that and get better results.
You just want to make it clear that you do want to switch back and forth and that’s something that I love doing because I think it’s so helpful. I love showing up as this, you know, aggressive boss in my business because that’s what it takes to run a business. You have to be that way and then you, but I like, I don’t need an alter ego anymore. Right. It’s like the Beyonce thing.
It’s like you don’t need an alter ego once you’ve become that person in that area. But in another area I’m much softer. Like with my relationships, I’m not as aggressive. I’m much softer. I’m more laid back and it’s with this intentionality that I’ve been able to do it. So I want you to start to do that in every area of your life. There’s always an area to focus on. Something that I picked up from the book as well that I’m going to start to do in my own life is to choose some sort of physical object or like artifact or something like a little like stone or can be like a bracelet or glasses.
Something that you only like have on you when you’re in that role because it’s going to be a physical reminder to be that persona and embody those characteristics. So if you’re trying to be a six or seven figure business owner and you’re just not there yet and you wear this bracelet, let’s say only when you’re in that role, you want to make sure you choose the physical object where you’re just in that role.
You can kind of like touch it and it can be like a reminder, okay, this is me as Brooke in this alter ego and I’m like a boss today and that’s how I’m going to have the energy and be in that state. And this is just going to help remind you to embody those characteristics while you’re in that role. But then what you want to do is make sure that you don’t have it on you all the time and you just like take off the bracelet when you’re done working so that you can be intentional about how you’re showing up in your roles.
There was a story in the book about like it was like a military Sergeant or something who he was showing up in his military role in all areas of his life and he didn’t like how it was manifesting with his family and his kids in particular. So what he did was create an alter ego for his personal life, much more fun and laid back and playful.
And I just love this because you don’t necessarily have to do it in an area where you’re like failing. You can do it in an area where you just want to improve the results. And the author of the book talks about when he’s like playful dad, he puts on this little, I think it’s a bracelet or something and that’s, you know, when he’s no longer the coach and he’s no longer the leader, he’s like fun, playful, loving dad.
And I just think that when you are conscious about this, when you do this intentionally, it will change your life. I think it’s important to have a physical object as a reminder, especially when you start doing this. And I think it’s super, super important and helpful to name your alter ego and have someone in mind so that you’re really clear about the role that you’re in and who you are. I don’t want to say manifesting, but who, who you’re reminding yourself of and what characteristics they have so that you’re not going to default to your old habits.
So if you’re really good in one area with your alter ego, that alter ego is probably going to lead in other areas where it’s not useful. So I found this in my personal life, right? It’s super easy for me to become the leader and boss in my personal life in ways that I don’t really want to.
And there’s really no negative consequences, but I just, for me, I don’t want to. And that’s the key. So there are people in their personal lives where they are more of the alpha and they have the aggressiveness and that’s like their vision and that’s what they want. So it’s up to you to decide what you want.
I don’t really like that for my personal life and that’s why I like to have a different alter ego for that area of my life. But you totally can be that aggressive way in your personal life. The key is that you just get to decide. It’s kind of like what I think of when I think of a seven figure business owner. I have this idea of what I want to be as a seven figure business owner and it’s nothing like a Russell Brunson who is like in a tee shirt and jeans like very casual and playful and looks like he’s still in college, right?
Like that’s not my idea of a seven figure business owner is like a woman who is a very polished and a CEO, like leading her team. And that’s just my vision. So you can have whatever vision you want cause you’re going to create that reality and there is no right vision. There’s seven figure business owners who lead very different lives.
But for me what I see is more of the Brooke Castillo life versus like the Russell Brunson. So it’s just important that you’re aware of the end that you want to create that end in mind thinking the results that you want and you choose the area of your life and you come up with this alter ego and you name the alter ego. I just, I think this is just so fun. And I think again, it’s not different than anything I’ve taught before. It’s just a new tool to add on to what’s already true.
So your thoughts are always going to create your feelings. But I just think holding onto this alter ego, creating this alter ego in a different area of your life is going to help you come up with new thoughts more easily and become that person and then create the feelings you need to create.
So a lot of people will talk to me about how much I get done in a day and they’ll be so impressed with it. And it’s like I wake up in the morning, it’s, it’s funny, there’s a podcast of Brooke’s podcast called Morning Thoughts. It’s so good. And she talks about how when you wake up and you rarely think positive thoughts, it’s like so true. It’s my brain does that too. And I’m thinking negative thoughts immediately and I just decide intentionally, I coach myself and I decide what emotion I want to feel for that day.
And a lot of times it’s productive and it doesn’t matter what is going on in my life. It’s like I’m going to be productive while I’m working period and I go to work. I am productive for the day and I get it done. And I think that that is really, really useful. I don’t need an alter ego for that.
But if you are someone who, like many of my clients or students will come to me and they are not like their role in their lives, they’re not thriving in business and career. That’s a role where they would need an alter ego. They struggle to come up with the thoughts and the feelings that get them to get as much done as they wish they could. So I just think it would be a good idea to come up with an alter ego. In your business or your career if that’s where you want better results.
And it’s like pick those one to three traits of how you’re going to show up when you’re in that role and then know that that role ends right when four or five, six o’clock hits, you’re done and you put on your other role, your mom role, your wife role, your friend role. And it’s super fun to do this. I’ve been doing it recently in my life even more so in my personal life and, I love it. So it’s something to play around with.
I think it’s super useful and I think that you’ll notice you’ll be able to switch back and forth with like more intentionality and you will also eventually no longer need the alter ego. It’s just a way for you to create a stronger presence in a certain area of your life and create those new thought patterns more easily and get the results quicker. So I love this. Try it on. Let me know what you guys think. Feel free to send me an email. I’d love to hear from you. You can send it to [email protected] okay. I’ll talk to you next week.
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