Balancing The Demands Of Motherhood

Hi there. Welcome to the Design Your Dream Life podcast. My name is Natalie Bacon and I’m an Advanced, Certified Mindfulness Life Coach, as well as a wife and mom, if you’re here to do the inner work and grow, I can help. Let’s get started.

Hello my friend. Welcome to the podcast. I am so happy to be here with you today talking about balancing the demands of motherhood. Before we dive in to all of that, goodness, head on over to momonpurpose.com/directory. You will get the brand new and completely updated podcast directory. If you are new, you’re going to wanna listen to those top eight episodes that are the foundation for all of the work that I do here. If you have been around a while, you will also love this because there are categories broken out by topic with relevant episodes. So if you want help with stress, overwhelm, anxiety, or self-confidence, or parenting or marriage, whatever is on your mind that you want to work on in your personal life, you can use this resource guide as kind of a shortcut to help you find whatever podcast that I have for you on that topic. You can use it on your phone. It’s really easy to use, it’s beautifully designed, and you can get that over at momonpurpose.com/directory.

Now, let’s dive in to the demands of motherhood and how to balance them. What are we even talking about when we talk about the demands of motherhood? I always like to define things because before you know it, I’m talking about one thing, you’re thinking another thing. And this goes for anything in our lives. I think it’s so helpful. So when I say the demands of motherhood, I’m referring to the responsibilities, the challenges, the obligations that come with being a mom. And these demands can vary depending on various factors such as the age of our kids, family dynamics, your marital status, cultural and social expectations, other personal circumstances, and your own individual parenting choices. Here are some specific demands associated with motherhood that I think are pretty common and typical, at least for myself as well as my clients.

There’s the caregiving and the nurturing. Moms are responsible for providing the physical care, the emotional support, and the nurturing of our children. This includes feeding, bathing, dressing, comforting, and attending to their overall wellbeing. Another another demand is the daily routine and household management. Moms often are the person who makes sure the day keeps moving. They’re responsible for the day-to-day activities of the household, like meal planning, cooking, cleaning, organizing, scheduling, coordinating, and family logistics. Then there’s the demand of emotional support and guidance. Moms are often expected to provide the love and understanding and guidance to their kids to help them navigate emotions, resolve conflicts, build resilience, and develop social skills. There is the demand of education and development. Moms are typically involved in their kids’ educational journey, supporting them in their learning, assisting them with homework, engaging in educational activities, and advocating for their educational needs, the demand of health and safety.

Moms prioritize their kids’ health and safety by ensuring they receive proper medical care. Vaccinations, maintaining a safe and nurturing environment at home. The demand of financial responsibility, whether that’s you as mom and or a partner or spouse, you are often as the mom in charge of managing that money, even if you’re not the one making it. And oftentimes you are contributing, making it as the sole provider, or even if it’s your spouse, you often are the one managing and spending it, particularly as it relates to your kids. So do you do the grocery shopping? Do you buy the kids clothes and enroll them in school activities? Those are financial responsibilities that fall on you. Then there is the decision making around parenting related to discipline and screen time and extracurricular activities and other aspects of raising your kids. For moms, I think that the demands are so vast that this sort of just touches on sort of the the general demands that we can often think of and relate to.

I think that balancing these demands of being a mom when we have our mom hat on, often takes such priority over taking care of ourselves and any sort of self-care or personal wellbeing. So, part of balancing the demands of motherhood is to not just bring awareness to what those demands are, but also to bring awareness to the fact that you are a human being worthy of self-care and your own personal wellbeing. There isn’t a mom or a human on this planet who doesn’t deserve that. So yes, the demands of motherhood can be overwhelming at times, and they’re going to vary person by person based on your mindset and your circumstances. Every mom’s experience will be unique. And so knowing that, can you look inward and identify what the demands are for yourself in your role as mom, and whether you have been able to balance those demands in a way that you feel empowered and at the same time are able to care for yourself. So as your coach, I think it’s my responsibility to provide you with guidance, support, and the occasional push in the right direction. So today I really want to address this topic of balancing the demands of motherhood because I think it lies at the core of your life as a mom.

So first and foremost, I want to acknowledge the incredible strength, love, and dedication that you pour into being a mother. You are raising the future generation, and that is no small feat. The sacrifices that you make and the unconditional love that you give your children are truly commendable. And I want you to know that it’s crucial for me as your coach to remind you that being an exceptional mother doesn’t mean neglecting your own wellbeing, happiness, or personal growth. Motherhood is a journey filled with endless challenges, sleepless nights, and the constant juggling of responsibilities.

It’s easy to get lost in the whirlwind of nurturing young children, maintaining a home, meeting the needs of your family. But here is the truth. If you do all that at your own expense, if you neglect yourself, it doesn’t make you a better mother. It will only leave you exhausted, unfulfilled, and unable to show up as the best version of yourself. So finding balance amidst the chaos is admittedly not always an easy or obvious task, but I truly believe that it’s necessary for your own sanity and wellbeing. So now I want to jump into reminders, some tips, some practices that you can consider and take on and try out to balance the demands of motherhood.

Number one, prioritize self-care. Remember that taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. It’s an act of self-preservation. When you invest time in self-care, whether it’s through exercise, self-coaching, pursuing hobbies, or simply carving out moments of relaxation, you replenish your energy and become a more present patient and happier mom.

Number two, set boundaries. It is okay to say no and set boundaries with others, including with your children, with your spouse, with your in-laws, with your family of origin, with your friends, with your work. Establish clear expectations for yourself, and then communicate those needs. Boundaries aren’t ever meant to control or change someone else. Instead, boundaries are designed for you, for you to be the woman, the mom, the wife, the friend that you want to be. So inside Grow You. I teach you specifically how to set boundaries from love instead of from control or fear or frustration or anger. If you’re in there, you can access that inside the library.

Number three, celebrate imperfection. Motherhood comes with its fair share of messiness and imperfections. Embrace the chaos and forgive yourself for not being a flawless supermom. Remind yourself, I’m a human mom. Let go of unrealistic expectations and give yourself permission to just feel joy throughout the day, regardless of what’s happening in your life with your kids or their mood or at school or their friends, or with your spouse or in the world. You are worthy of joy. Don’t put it off waiting for perfect circumstances to experience it because it’s never going to happen that day. Just doesn’t arrive. Problems are forever, and that’s okay. Allow yourself, give yourself permission to celebrate imperfection.

Number four, let go of the comparison trap. There’s always going to be someone who’s doing it differently for better or worse, and maybe even better, and that’s okay. Instead of letting your brain run wild, focusing on what other moms are doing, redirect it back to you to what you can control and focus on who you want to be. This is so freeing and life giving.

Number five, stop tying your value as a mom to how your kids are doing to their performance. Your kids are on their own journey, so don’t measure your success as a mom based on their performance. It’s not fair to them, nor is it fair to you. You can support them and help them in any challenge that they are facing. Just don’t make their outcomes determine whether you are a good mom. This will give you so much inner peace and freedom.

Number six, feel your feelings without blaming them on other people or yourself. I like to say that feelings are for feeling not problems to be solved. You can feel any emotion and be okay, and however you feel is valid. So have compassion for yourself for feeling how you feel, but always remember you feel the way you’re feeling because of what you’re thinking. Your thoughts. Create your feelings. Don’t judge yourself for negative emotions just because your brain created them. Instead, remind yourself of your humanness and allow the feeling to pass.

Number seven, decide how you want to think on purpose. Don’t let your fear-based brain decide how you think you decide. Intentionally choose your thoughts purposefully so that they serve you in your life. The quality of your thoughts will determine the quality of your life. You can think anything. So look internally and decide on purpose instead of looking externally.

Motherhood is a beautiful journey, and number eight is about your own pursuit of personal growth. Allow yourself to wear any other hat that you feel called to wear. There is no right way to live. You’re not supposed to do everything or be everyone to everyone who wants you to be a certain person. Instead, decide on purpose what kind of life you want to create, what kind of hats you want to wear. Nurture your own dreams, passions and ambitions. Pursue personal growth, whether it’s through further education, maybe it’s a career change or advancement or personal projects. But by continuing to see yourself, to prioritize yourself, to invest in yourself, you become the person who you were made to be. You live out your desires and that matters. And of course, it has the kind of side effect of also inspiring your kids, showing them the value of lifelong learning and personal development.

Number nine, you are not your to-do list. Give yourself permission to rest your body, your mind, your soul. All needs space to unwind and reset. Even our phones need to be plugged in to recharge. You are a human mom, and when you allow space to reset and recharge, you will have an increased sense of wellbeing. So out of this list of nine, which do you want to add into your life right now? Make that decision. Do you wanna work on letting go of perfectionism or do you want to start setting some boundaries? Or maybe you need to work on your mindset and thinking on purpose or your own personal growth and dreams. This list is not exhaustive by any means, and it’s also not something that you need to do in order right now, and think of it as just one more thing to add in as a demand.

Instead, I want it to be there as a list for you to use to help you live your best life, because the demands of motherhood are one thing, but there are always going to be demands in your life period, even after your kids leave the home. So if you don’t make space to live on purpose, it will constantly feel like you are at the effect of your life like you are, um, putting out fires, and you are honoring the requests of everyone else saying yes to everyone, trying to do everything for everyone always. It leads to feeling unfulfilled, feeling exhausted, feeling overwhelmed, and feeling stuck. So these practices are just one way that you can get started feeling unstuck, feeling motivated, feeling inspired, living a little bit more intentionally so you get that momentum forward to take the action that you want to take to live your best life.

My intention in sharing these practices and this episode is not to overwhelm you or make you feel guilty at all. Instead, I hope that you feel a little bit of a spark within you, that you deserve happiness, fulfillment, and any type of balance in your life that you want. There is no shoulding on yourself. It’s not that you should have a certain number of hours allocated towards self-care versus work versus home, versus projects versus parenting. There’s no shoulding but there is that internal desire that you will have, and knowing what that looks like for you and where you’re at now versus where you want it to be, what that personal balance looks like for you internally, that is important for you to notice, for you to know, and for you to be living into. By taking care of yourself, you’re giving yourself what you need, and you become a better mother, a better partner, a better human being for you.

If you need further support, please do not hesitate to reach out to me. Go to momonpurpose.com/coaching. Together we can navigate the challenges and the demands of motherhood and create a life for you that harmoniously balances your roles in a way that you really want for your future. I am here to support you every step of the way. If you have any more questions or need further assistance, don’t hesitate to reach out. I would love to coach you more on this topic, my friend. I wish you all the best on your journey of balancing the demands of your life, of motherhood and of personal fulfillment. You got this, my friend.

If you loved this podcast, I invite you to check out Grow You my mindfulness community for moms where we do the inner work together. Head on over to momonpurpose.com/coaching to learn more.