Life Changing Hacks For Working Moms

As a modern mom who is trying to do it all, it “all” can often feel overwhelming and even defeating. That’s why it’s so important to come up with creative ways to navigate the challenges of being a working mom. As a working mom myself, as well as having coached thousands of my clients, I know there are real tools and resources that can lighten the mental load of motherhood for working moms. In this post, you’ll find 11 life changing hacks for working moms that will help you get a little bit ahead.

Life Changing Hacks For Working Moms

The main problem with being a working mom is the expectation of being 100% devoted to your career while being 100% devoted to your family, all at the same time. With these demands added up, it’s 200% expectation with only 100% available capacity.

This is why it’s critical to rethink how to succeed as a working mom. Instead of feeling like you’re either failing at work or failing at motherhood, you can win at both. It just takes intentionally deciding to change your own expectations of yourself, so that you set yourself up for success.

These 11 life changing hacks for working moms will help you do just that.

#1. Use a calendar to plan, not a to-do list.

When your brain looks at a to-do list, it immediately goes into time-scarcity because of the erroneous belief that everything on the list needs to get done now. To combat this natural tendency, use a calendar (I use and recommend Google Calendar) where you put everything from your to-list in time slots on your calendar. You can put them as far out as you need to. The idea is to plan with a calendar, using it as a tool to help you use time in the most effective way.

I haven’t used a to-do list in years and I swear by this one. My gCal is my life-line in that I always have it up and think of it as my best friend and personal assistant supporting me to help me get done what I want to do in the time I have.

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#2. Schedule self care ahead of time.

Simply put, self care means that you are taking care of yourself. There are many different flavors of self care, depending on what your needs are, but I like to break up self care into six categories—mental, emotional, physical, social, spiritual, and practical (read more about the six types of self care here).

What I know for sure is that if you don’t plan self care, it doesn’t happen. This isn’t your fault or anyone else’s fault—it’s just the way of it. If you wait until it’s the “right time” for anything, the time never comes because we live full lives, in modern motherhood.

For your own sanity and to avoid needing an “escape” from your family, schedule ways to practice self care ahead of time. These can be big ways or smalls ways based on your time, money, and energy resources. The point is that it’s intentional, even if it’s just 15 minutes of journaling once per week. This is time set aside for you to take care of yourself.

#3. Focus on internal balance, not external balance.

It’s a buzzword to want to create “balance” but what does that even mean? I challenge the status quo insofar as I don’t think balance refers to a specific allocation of time. For example, you don’t need to have the same amount of time spent on work as you do on sleep as you do with your family as you do exercising. That doesn’t make sense. Instead, think of balance as an internal measure of how you feel. Do you feel internally balanced? If not, that’s where you can do more work on yourself. If so, then keep up whatever you’re doing.

The more you look internally to determine whether you’re balanced, the more empowered you’ll be because you’ll be focusing on what you can control—you.

#4. Delegate and outsource.

There’s a limiting (and arguably harmful) belief that the woman who does the most wins. I’m not sure what we win exactly but I do know there are negative consequences to this way of approaching life. You end up self-sacrificing, overwhelmed, and exhausted. Instead, delegate and outsource as much as you can! I know you can’t delegate and outsource everything, but having the mindset that the goal is to delegate and outsource as much as possible will put your brain to work on delegating and outsourcing more.

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#5. Ask yourself empowering questions.

The questions you ask yourself determine the answers your brain will focus on. For example, if you think, “why do bad things always happen to me?” your brain will focus on all the bad things that happen to you. Compare that to if you ask your brain a question like, “what can I learn through this experience?” your brain will go to work figuring out the lessons. Ask better questions and you’ll get a better mindset, feeling more empowered in your every day life.

#6. Schedule a mid-week calendar review.

As the saying goes, spend more time sharpening your axe than chopping down the tree. Translation: Spend more time planning and your week will go smoother. I spend about one hour every week looking over my calendar, moving things around, making sure my week ahead is scheduled how I’d like. This doesn’t mean I’m overplanning and filling every space on my calendar. Instead, it’s a way for me to plan more purposefully and intentionally.

Set aside time on a Thursday where you look at your calendar for the upcoming week. At that time, rearrange anything you don’t think will work, add anything you haven’t added yet, and make sure your week ahead is planned to the extent that you want it planned. This will make it easier for you to rely on your calendar during the week instead of scrambling the day of, trying to make changes.

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#7. Shift your focus to the internal.

When challenges present, shift your attention to what’s going on internally for you. It can be tempting to want to focus on other people, the world, and what’s “wrong” outside of you (the external) but this leaves you powerless to navigate the challenge because you can’t control the external. What you can control is everything internal: your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions. Given the challenge in front of you, who do you want to be? What do you want to think? How do you want to feel? What do you want to do?

For example, if your daughter gave you the wrong date for her dance recital and you find out two weeks before the show that it conflicts with a work trip for an important client, instead of fixating on your daughter’s mistake, the recital, or the client (all things you can’t control), focus on how you want to navigate this challenge going forward. Given that there’s a date and time conflict, what do you want to do? What feels most aligned with who you want to be? It may still be a challenging decision, but you’ll feel more empowered focusing on who you want to be because that’s within your control.

#8. Change your expectations based on your capacity.

As seasons go by, kids change, you change, life changes, work changes, and so on. The only constant is change. Yet, I find we often forget to change our expectations of ourselves in completely changed circumstances.

For example, your capacity as someone who’s not pregnant is probably very different than your capacity when pregnant (at least that’s been my experience!). So maintaining the same expectations for yourself when pregnant and not pregnant isn’t honoring of yourself nor of your body. I reduce my expectations of myself significantly when I’m pregnant. My typical 100% capacity is about 50% capacity and that 50% is my new 100% for being pregnant.

This applies to any transition or change. You may change careers or have kids at new schools or simply have kids reaching different ages where their needs have changed. Giving yourself permission to redefine your expectations as you navigate the new change will help through it.

#9. Validate yourself and give yourself praise.

It’s so common to want validation from outside of ourselves—from our kids, our spouses, our bosses, our friends, etc. And yet, the more we want this validation the less likely we get it in the way we want it.

This is why starting a practice of self-validation and giving yourself praise can be so helpful. It will help you connect with yourself, feel more seen, and show up in your life with more energy and connection.

For example, if you wish someone would tell you that you’re doing a good job managing it all, then tell yourself that. Place your hand on your heart before you go to bed every night and say, “I’m doing a good job managing my life, my family, and my work. I’m pretty amazing.”

It may seem like giving yourself praise and validation won’t be as effective as when someone else gives it, but that’s not true. The more you practice this, the greater impact it has, as you get used to feeling good about yourself.

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#10. Drop the mom guilt.

Did you know mom guilt is optional? It’s true. It’s not a requirement for motherhood, even if you feel it constantly. Mom guilt comes from your thoughts and expectations. It’s a feeling created by your view of yourself and your role in motherhood. You can change this so that you show up as the woman and mom you want to be, without the added (and unhelpful) mom guilt.

CLICK HERE to listen to my podcast about How To Navigate Mom Guilt.

#11. Embrace your love of your work AND of your family.

Two things can be true—you can love your work AND you can love your family. There’s no competition for love. There’s no competition for doing better at one than the other. When you find your brain going to either/or thinking, catch yourself and swap in an “and.” It sounds like, “I can do a good job at both my job and as a mom” instead of “either I’m good at my work or I’m a good mom.” Live in the and of both.

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A Final Note

There are challenges unique to being a working mom, but when you put your brain to work on how you can navigate those challenges, you end up being more empowered, getting stronger, and growing more than you ever could otherwise.